fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2132 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2132 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

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I was at the height of my popularity in middle school. I had tons of friends and boys fought over me, note-passing drama, etc.

When I got to high school, my friends started getting waaaay more serious with boys and drinking and I shied away from it, but I still had lots of friends, but we were nerdy band kids.

In college, I didn't make a ton of friends, and I never dated.

I graduated last year, had to move back in with my parents and I barely ever do anything socially anymore.

I feel like I'm regressing so much, and I don't know how it happened, or if I forgot how to make friends, or what. I'm afraid it's because I've gained like 50 lbs and I can't seem to lose any of it. And that's the better alternative, because deep down I think everyone gets sick of me eventually and doesn't want to be my friend anymore.

What are you doing now, other than living with your parents? Do you have job, or the prospect of one? Do you have plans for graduate school? Have you tried volunteer work, in the real world or online?

Maybe the problem isn't you, but rather the shrinking of the boundaries of your personal world, so to speak. It'll most likely take time to get your socialization skills back up to speed (I know that it's hard for me to even speak if I'm isolated for too long!), but if you expand your "boundaries" through work or study, you should find yourself beginning to form friendships again. It takes a long time to form a good friendship, too -- you might have some future friends in your acquaintance already.

Deep down I think everyone gets sick of me eventually and doesn't want to be my friend anymore.

I really doubt that that's true, but if it bothers you that much, then try to think of your faults. Do you think that you talk too much? Have you pushed friends away before? Are you pushy or aggressive so far as your personal opinions are concerned? Why wouldn't people like you?

nayrt

Maybe the problem isn't you, but rather the shrinking of the boundaries of your personal world, so to speak.

That is a good point. I definitely feel like my social life is less active now as a professional adult compared to how it was in high school and college. Outside of school, you don't necessarily get as many opportunities to be forced together with a bunch of new people. You have your job and your neighbors, but there may not be as much turn-over as there is when you're in a new class with a new mix of classmates every semester.

Wait, you actually count anything during the age of middle school as indicative of yourself for... anything? Really?

Because that's not really healthy. That was about 10 years ago. You have gone through puberty, your brain has changed, your hormones have cooled down, you've had TEN YEARS of experiences that your middle-school self couldn't even begin to cope with.

Don't compare your self to your preteen self. Just make what you can of your budding adult life by dealing with the fact that you have a shit ton of stuff you can do now that you couldn't in middle school.

Also, get your thyroid checked out. Depression and weight gain are linked to hypothyroidism.

Wow, I'm like the exact opposite of your experience.

[ SECRET POST #2132 ]

i'm a different person and i hate it

Re: i'm a different person and i hate it

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