fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2137 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2137 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Why did you apologize? Some people like to see themselves as a victim and by saying you are sorry if you offended them you are just feeding that need. Life is too short to give a single fuck about what other people think.

Nowadays I realize that it was a mistake to get in a conversation with them aynways, but at that time I was really worried I had truly offended someone.

I'm usually watching myself not to use words like "retarded" or "gay" (even though I'm gay myself) because I have encountered people IRL who feel very bad when hearing them.
So I thought I better try to apologize in advance just to make sure I didn't have any mean intentions.

But still, this experience was enough for me to drop that particular cosplay (it was Nabooru from Legend of Zelda, btw). She IS a very dark-skinned char, so I can understand people being legit offended by me playing her.

OH GOD. Don;t EVER mention you never intended to offend anyone.

Cause you;ll end up with the SJW's who use "INTENT IS NOT MAGIC!! CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE" and f you apologize more, they only take it as a "faux" apology, no matter HOW sincere you are, will see you as nothing but a monster who should walk on legos off a cliff.

That's happened to me before and fuck it. They'll think what they want regardless and it's best to just ignore it and keep on keeping on.

I have never seen an SJW acknowledge an apology as legitimate. It's always "This is a horrible person forever who should never speak again" no matter what the hell the person says.

That said, I think it's OK that the OP apologized since they're saying someone could have been legitimately offended. But there's no way some people would be mollified, yeah.

Shameless plug-in time!

Wanna come on over to

sj_awareness? :)

Edited 2012-11-09 06:03 (UTC)

I think apologizing was the right thing to do, since there are some people who are legitimately hurt by seeing things like that. Like you, I'm queer and I don't throw around the word "gay" in contexts not-related to sexuality. It doesn't bother me, personally, but I know a lot of people that it does, and I wouldn't want to hurt them by using it. It's easy enough for me to not use it and not risk hurting someone else.

That being said, I do think it's shitty that when some people do mess up and do things without realizing that they can be offensive (whether it's because of culture or just a lack of education about certain issues) and then try to apologize for it that people continue to dogpile them about it. People aren't born knowing everything, and sometimes you do have to make really stupid ass mistakes and get called on them before you can learn better. But writing off anyone who ever screws up or harrassing them after they've apologized and are legitimately sorry is pretty counter-productive. And I know there are some people who like to issue faux-pologies about things, but you can tell the difference between them and someone who's generally sorry for screwing up. Also, I know a lot of people would disagree because ~intent isn't magical~, but intent does make a difference in the amount of slack I'm willing to cut someone for a mistake.

God, I hate the "intent isn't magical" thing. No, intent doesn't mean you didn't cause hurt or offense, but I know I'd sure as hell be a lot more pissed off at someone who purposefully stomped on my foot than one who did it accidentally and apologized, even if my foot hurts either way.

Actually intent is the difference between murder and accidental homicide. One still carries the death penalty in some places (places where some of these SJW are from, as the case may be).

So if intent can be the reason you get to live despite killing someone, how come it doesn't mitigate, even a little, an anonymous offense delivered over the internet?

Is there anything else to the character besides her dark skin? Why is the skin color so central to cosplaying her?

What if OP was cosplaying Anthy? As an example? She'd not LOOK like Anthy without having darker skin. even if she were in teh red dress and all, there'd be people who'd be deriding the cosplay cause she doesn't look enough like her.

It's happened before. It's never a win-win situation with characters that are darker in skin tone.

I've seen the opposite in some places with people of other races cosplaying, say, the Sailor Senshi. :/

Some people take it way too seriously. Last I heard, it was about having fun!

I know right?

There's fighting oppression and then there's just plain ridiculousness. -_-

Apparently white people aren't supposed to cosplay Anthy at all. I learned this courtesy of tumblr.

And according of Tumblr, POC cosplaying "white characters" (that usually are from anime and almost all characters are from Japan) is ok meanwhile white people cosplaying "POC characters" (even if they have light skin) is a big no.

I especially loved when everyone dogpiled the hispanic Korra cosplayer and accused her of brown face, then back pedaled when they found out her ethnicity. And that she was using her normal foundation, but it didn't match her current skin tone because she'd been purposefully avoiding getting her usual tan for another cosplay.

Lol i have a white friend on tumblr who was all "I can't cosplay Martha Jones cause I'm white! What is wrong with you for even suggesting it!" and I just kinda rolled my eyes. If you want to play Martha Jones, cosplay her for fuck's sake. If you do blatant blackface, yeah, that's racist. But just DRESSING UP as a black character is NOT WRONG, even if you're white, jesus christ.

Lmao, yeah, I don't get that line of reasoning at all. You can still cosplay Martha and make it pretty clear that you're her through use of costume and props without breaking out the shoe polish. The last part is the one where you need to start worrying. SMH at you, Tumblr.

they didn't back pealed. They just still claimed that using foundation to "dark your skin" still makes you wrong and racist.

No see, they will be offended by whatever you do. Odds are good they were 99% white anyway. Odds are good you legit offended nobody who mattered. Even if you've been scared away from the cosplay, remember that before you ever think you actually did something wrong. Other then apologize to those pieces of dogshit.

not ayrt

probably because ayrt expected these people to respond like mature, level-headed people

to be fair, it's a very easy mistake to make if you don't know what they are really like

[ SECRET POST #2137 ]

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