[ SECRET POST #2137 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2137 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 015 secrets from Secret Submission Post #305.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I haven't read the 50 Shades books but from what I know of it, I find it weird that I have friends on Facebook posting things like, "If only Christian Grey was real!" or "Where can I find my own Christian Grey?"

Isn't he really abusive and the book depicts women wanting to be told what to do?

[(Anonymous)]

"I wish Christian Gray was real" bugs me, because I'm sure there are plenty of men like Christian Gray (minus the loads of money and good looks). But if they really want to find an abusive asshole, it shouldn't be that hard (but maybe they only want a super-rich, abusive asshole?).

[(Anonymous)]

It's the money. Kind of like how in Twilight, Bella keeps professing her love for Edward but then *casually* mentions all the expensive stuff he has and how cool it would be to be a super pretty immortal vampire.

[(Anonymous)]

Yep, he's abusive. Wanting to be told what to do isn't bad in itself (personal choice etc etc), but Christian basically goes "I like you and will bully you into being my slave despite you being inexperienced! Of course you like being a sub!"

And Anastasia kind of sits there going "Derp...okay."

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, it's pretty clear in parts of the book that she does not AT ALL like some of the things he asks her to do, either. I actually would have felt a lot better about her leaving at the end of the first book if I didn't know she was just going to go right back to him in book two. SIGH.

[truxillogical]

Correct me if I'm wrong (and I may well be), but in an actual healthy D/s relationship, isn't the sub more in charge? In the sense that yes, the Dom will tell the sub what to do, but the sub is the one who sets the boundaries in the first place and gets to stop it when they don't feel comfortable or safe?

[(Anonymous)]

Not from personal experience - but the idea is that limits are agreed on beforehand and the Dom is free to operate only within those. Also safe words.

[dazzledfirestar]

Things would be negotiated beforehand, limits discussed, if either partner (or however many are involved) is uncomfortable with something (uncomfortable in the "I will not do this" way, not the humiliation/pain kink way) it DOES NOT HAPPEN.

Either partner can stop at any time, but given the lack of control within a scene that a sub generally has (because it can be about giving up control to someone you trust), most people assume they would be more likely to stop a scene.

That doesn't mean Doms won't stop either. Things can go too far for them too. There's a reason the motto is Safe, Sane and Consensual for everyone.

[liveoddly]

He actually says that in the first book. The whole "The sub is the one with all the power" spiel. And then I want to punch him in the face, because he's spent the entire book ignoring her consent and telling her that her hard limits are stupid and he'll ease her into them and generally removing all her power.

[stainless]

I may have an odd opinion here, but I think the back and forth about "who's really in charge" doesn't make much sense to me. I mean, I get off on power, not on "you like to pretend that I have it but you really do so we don't have to feel guilty for liking this in the first place." So I don't really think I don't have power.

I do think it's really conditional. I'm normal. Relationships involve communication, arguing, working things out. And like any normal person, I can and do get broken up with -- or even dumped. If someone dumps me, where's my power over them? Gone, whatever interesting metascussion did or didn't happen with whomever about what its nature was when I had it.

So to me it's not so much that it isn't "real" power (I'm not sure what that even means, tbqh) but that, in the end? What I have is a relationship, and it's just like any other relationship at its core, and relationships work when everyone's respected and comfortable and safe... and nothing that we like to do is going to really-o truly-o change that. (Or should.)

[(Anonymous)]

Well, he's a ridiculously rich man who's super into a random girl for like NO REASON WHATSOEVER because she has zero personality or life skills. I don't think it's that strange that people want that.

AS for depicting women as wanting to be told what to do...idk, I've only read the first book, but I definitely don't think that's what it says. Ana definitely waffles like hell about the being told what to do and whether she likes it or not and whether it embarrasses her or whether she wants to go through the whole thing or not, and Christian kind of railroads over her about it, but I don't think it's ever really implied that this is something ALL women want.

[(Anonymous)]

Hopefully the book doesn't. But a million shitty articles about it pretty much do since to the people writing them, all women are a like and so if something is popular with women ALL WOMEN must be into it.

It makes me wonder if I anyone will actually believe me when I say that I am not sexually submissive.

[awkward_as_heck]

I'd argue that the zero personality/life skills part is what makes Ana an easy and attractive target for Grey. Emotionally immature, no relationship benchmarks, sexually naive.

[dazzledfirestar]

This. She's got easy target written all over her.