fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2137 ]

[ SECRET POST #2137 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2137 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 015 secrets from Secret Submission Post #305.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Presumably, the same way that most anyone who really works to teach themselves how makeup, hair styling, and fashion choices can be conventionally attractive, if they want. If you are moderately thin/not obese, hygienic, and don't have any major disfiguring flaws, it's really not that hard to make yourself come off as conventionally pretty, if you put in the work.

I kinda don't agree with most everything else about the secret, but I assume that learning the tricks of makeup and presentation were probably a big part of it...

But makeup, hair styling and fashion choices can't make a person conventionally attractive if they are actually homely, can it? It can make them look like a well-groomed, fashionably, even possibly unconventionally attractive person, but unless we're talking plastic surgery, you've got what you've got to work with.

Depends on what you mean by "actually homely," I guess. Even drag queen (not to be confused with trans women!) can really work it a lot of the time, provided they know their stuff.

I guess I meant that it sounded like we're talking about the raw materials. For instance, Hollywood is full of people who are impeccably groomed and have access to the best fashion designers and professional hair and makeup artists. But the character actors and actresses are still routinely recognized as such compared to the "beautiful" people. Likewise, I'm sure there are drag queens considered to have a better face/body for drag starting out that gives them an advantage.

Of course there's more to being attractive than what you've got genetically, but it just sounded like the secret was so focused on conforming to society's agreed-upon definition of "pretty" it seemed like she had to be talking about that. If she just means that she believes in trying as hard as you can to conform to that no matter what you stat with I misunderstood what she's saying. That's more disagreeing with their choice not to do that more than feeling sorry for them for being ugly imo.

But the character actors and actresses are still routinely recognized as such compared to the "beautiful" people.

Exactly. You can give Steve Buscemi every makeup artist in the country and he still wouldn't be conventionally attractive if you wanted the makeup to look normal. That's part of the thing with drag queens- the makeup usually has a specific, over-the-top style that wouldn't go over well for day-to-day wear. They may look great on stage or at parades, but it's very obvious they're wearing copious amounts of makeup and fake hairpieces.

idk, good hair, clothes, and makeup can do wonders. I'm pretty damned unattractive but even I look decent when I'm all gussied up. If I put no effort at all into my appearance I'm an absolute troll.

Right, but as I was saying to the other poster, that to me seems like a different issue that being officially pretty according to current societal standards. It's more just one person telling other people they should take care of themselves and present themselves a certain way to look better.

Ex ugly duckling also.
I still don't consider me pretty, but if I judge solely from the looks I got from people (especially men) when I put on flattering clothes, make-up, heels, have the right hair cut and when my hair was bleached blonde, even though it doesn't change my face it apparently makes people *think* I'm pretty.

Apparently, some tricks make people forget your traits and focus on other things. And yes, it has a lot to do with going with the looks celebrated in the medias. Sad but true.

I also think, and you may be being hard on yourself here, but if you are genuinely plain, your size makes a huge difference. I've known women who have men lusting after them, but to look at they are very plain, but tiny. If a woman is petite, then does the nice makeup, hair, clothes thing, that combination really makes all the difference. I have a friend who is very tall and a big person (kind of with that Miranda Hart body type) and she always says how women whose features are in the right place will get a lot of attention from men if they are very slim, and or very petite.

Makeup can dramatically change the way you look, actually. Like, to the point of changing the apparent bone structure of parts of your face. I'm kind of surprised you haven't come across any of those before/after posts on tumblr before.

I'm not denying that make-up works. I haven't come across dramatic before/after tumblr posts, but I know people can look dramatically better with make-up.

It can't make a basically very plain or ugly person "pretty", though. That's just advertising BS.

I think it could make a plain person pretty. But then, my definition of "plain" is ordinary and not particularly remarkable in either a negative or positive way- neither attractive nor unattractive. The middle road. Makeup could make you look more remarkable, giving the illusion of fuller lips, bigger eyes, etc. That said, I don't think even the right hair or makeup could make one outright beautiful like the OP implies she is, which IMO, is a higher level of attractiveness than pretty. I think you'd have to have SOME measure of natural attractiveness to be beautiful without surgery, even with a lot of effort. That said, if one's outright ugly, nothing short of surgery is going to make them conventionally pretty, let alone as attractive as the OP claims to be.

Agreed.

I kinda don't agree with most everything else about the secret, but I assume that learning the tricks of makeup and presentation were probably a big part of it...

Perhaps, though I was pretty homely in high school, and now I like to think I'm pretty hot. I'm sure a big part of it is that I have more self-confidence, but I also somehow lost a lot of weight out of high school and... my face changed somehow. I have no idea how to put on make-up, and I can't do much more than brush my hair/put it in a ponytail (though, not anymore, since my hair's very short now). I seriously don't even know how to use a straightener. (Me in highschool vs. me now)

Then again, some of the most (physically) beautiful people I know are overweight, or might not be conventinally pretty, so I don't really know where this idea that "If you're fat, you can't be pretty" idea comes from.

Hate to break it to you, but you're still pretty homely. :/

Then I (and the people I meet who tell me, but mostly me) will have to agree to disagree. I like the way I look, and in the end that's really all that matters.

It's not that you've transformed from unattractive to hot, you've just changed from unremarkable to a niche-type. I'm very unattracted to women who look like the way you do now (downright turn off, actually, so I find your high school look much more attractive, albeit it "plain"), but you've not very much got a "Style" or a "look" so you will be noticed by the people who like that style/look, and will probably be considered attractive to them. (You are also not unattractive, you're just not attractive to me.)

Also, and this is VERY IMPORTANT. Confidence in yourself/your looks is a huge thing. If you feel awesome about how you look (and you obviously do, which is also awesome), then people will pick up on that. You were not confident in your looks in high school and that probably showed. You look like the type of girl who blended into the background and maybe did her best to not be noticed. Now you're rocking a style that is "you" and are being noticed and appreciated for it. But you're definitely not what people would call "Conventionally pretty." And I'm not at all say you're not hot... it's a fucked up world we live in. But with regards to the secret, the way you look now would not get you the "hot girl" privileged that the OP is talking about. (Well, perhaps it would in certain venues, but in the general world it wouldn't.)

Also, and this is VERY IMPORTANT. Confidence in yourself/your looks is a huge thing.

DING!

You look basically the same...?

Actually looking at the differences between then and now, my face shape has changed (it used to be much more round) which I think is what's made the difference to me.

I think if you had that red hair and the cut in the earlier photo you would look the same. Nothing wrong with the way you look in either photo IMO you look fine, but I definitely wouldn't call either homely, or especially hot. Just a perfectly attractive young woman.

(no subject)

poisonenvy - 2012-11-09 22:00 (UTC) - Expand

da

(Anonymous) - 2013-03-11 20:35 (UTC) - Expand

You were MUCH more attractive in highschool, honey....

Funny, but 'homely' isn't the word that springs to mind on seeing either of those pictures. You're cute - no, not a raging beauty a la Kathrine Hepburn, but certainly not homely.

If you are moderately thin/not obese, hygienic, and don't have any major disfiguring flaws, it's really not that hard to make yourself come off as conventionally pretty, if you put in the work.

This...is not necessarily true. You can always make yourself look better but without fantastic plastic surgery, some people can't be considered conventionally pretty. If the OP's point was that she was pretty once she lost weight, learned basic hygiene, makeup, and hair care, then I could understand that. But there are certainly girls for whom that doesn't work or who end up a 5 while taking care of themselves.

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