[ SECRET POST #2137 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2137 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 015 secrets from Secret Submission Post #305.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

The thing is, you've put time and money and effort into learning to do the pretty thing. Which is entirely your decision, and one which seems to make you happy. But it is not the same sort of skill as, say, learning to play the trombone.

Every woman is faced every day with huge pressure to spend that time and money on learning that skill. Those who decide not to - because they can't afford it, or they have no natural talent for it, or they know capitulating would make them unhappy with themselves - are shamed every day of their lives for not "making an effort".

You chose to make the effort. You chose to gain those skills and spend that money. And that is not a value neutral decision. The system is shitty for every woman, and you don't get to opt out of that. You can either be unpretty and deal with the shaming and the criticism and the loss of opportunities. Or you can choose to spend the time and money on pretty. But unfortunately that's a decision which puts you ahead of the game at the expense of those who didn't or couldn't make that choice. You aren't pretty in a vacuum - you're pretty in a constant death-match of comparisons. And yes, they will be angry about that. They can't choose not to be - anger is a legitimate and appropriate response to a fucked up system.

And it's not like it's a one-off choice. We make that choice every day, and most of us will not have a 100% record on either choice.

The angry unpretty girls are not the ones spoiling everyone else's fun. Even if they are being assholes about it.

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you for this comment!

[(Anonymous)]

Except I don't think it's an okay response to say "it's a shitty, misogynistic system that disadvantages all women and puts pressure on them to act/look/be a certain way SO I WILL HATE THE (still disadvantaged) WOMEN WHO CHOOSE TO WEAR MAKEUP AND WHO MAY HAPPEN TO BE NATURALLY ATTRACTIVE. FUCK THEM." Be angry at the system, fine. But why on earth would you be angry just because someone else made a different choice in response to the shitty system?

Some people (including me) genuinely enjoy makeup, and feel good about putting time into their appearances. There is nothing wrong with this. Period. End of story. I am not choosing to shame another woman when I put on mascara in the morning, I am choosing to do something that I enjoy.

At the end of the day, yeah, all of our behaviors are conditioned by cultural ideologies, and that is unavoidable, but thinking about causality on that level is ultimately pointless.

I do not shame other women for not wearing makeup. I do not claim that makeup is crucial to women's existence. You do not have the right to hate me for making the choice to wear makeup.

Also, there are plenty of other skills we are pressured into learning and using, even if we are not naturally inclined towards them, and though I wouldn't pretend that they're the same (because they aren't backed by the system of misogyny in the same way), it's silly to pretend there are no comparable skills.

Also lastly (at the end of this tl;dr), I honestly don't think it's wrong that there are jobs that ask their employees to be "put together" visually. This doesn't mean being stunning, or even wearing makeup, but putting some effort into your appearance, if you will be a public face of a company. So what on earth is wrong with the fact that my putting myself together well for an interview for such a job gives me a leg up?