Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2012-11-19 05:26 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2012-11-19 05:26 pm
[ SECRET POST #2148 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2148 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 080 secrets from Secret Submission Post #307.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 4 - doing a bit of troll-weeding ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Re: and I'm worriedall this will help me slip back into my suicidal urges again
One thing to keep in mind, regardless of your belief system, is that every life has a purpose. It might not be a very big one, but just by being alive, you have made an impact on someone somewhere in this world. Never believe that you are useless or worthless because it simply is not true, and without you there, someone's life would be impacted. Every life has a purpose, and even if yours isn't clear to you (especially right now when it feels like you have nothing to contribute and the apathy of everyone else toward you only serves to reinforce that), it is most definitely clear to someone else. You just have to remind yourself of that.
One thing you might want to try is taking your creative endeavors and put them toward something different for a little while. I used to be an avid illustrator, but for the last two years I've barely been able to doodle a few lines before becoming disgusted with what's on the page and giving up. Instead I turned to writing, something I'd never really bothered with before. It helped for a while until I fell into a rut there, too. However, the urge to draw has come back (a spark now where it was once a flame, but it's there nonetheless), and I've been slowly rekindling my work on that. So try something a little new, like learning how to cook something you can then decorate like breads and cakes or perhaps using a new medium than what you are used to to try and stimulate creative energy. It might not be much; it might not even help in the end, but it can't hurt to try. Even creating something you think is crappy is still creating something.
You might also want to try finding someone you can talk to, professional or not, or writing down what you feel on paper. I don't know if writing and posting this comment helped you in any way, but sometimes having your thoughts laid out concretely in front of you (and possibly someone else) can help. I don't actively comment here a hell of a lot due to depression and real life responsibilities, but if you want, you can always message me. I might not be of much help, but I'm certainly willing to listen if you need somebody.