[ SECRET POST #2148 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2148 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 080 secrets from Secret Submission Post #307.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 4 - doing a bit of troll-weeding ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

tw suicide, just to be safe

[diet_poison]

I wouldn't mind a painless death not inflicted by me.

I kind of understand this feel. The times I've considered suicide I've realized what an awful thing I'd be doing to everyone around me. If it weren't my fault, otoh...

I'm so sorry that you're feeling lonely and frustrated. I hate the feeling of being isolated and it's happened to me because I've been randomly abandoned by several people who I cared about deeply. One was very recent (a few months ago), and on top of that, I've had conflicts with two of my closest friends over the past week.

I've found it helps to be grateful for the people I do have. I do have friends who stick with me even when I lash out at them (and oh boy, do I wish I could stop doing that...) and I have an amazing family. (Living apart from my parents has actually strengthened my relationship with them quite a lot. I'm genuinely looking forward to seeing them over Thanksgiving break this week!)

But that isn't always easy. Sometimes you feel like you will always be alone in some ways, or like you'll never have a person you can trust 100% (I have some pretty major trust issues), or like you'll never have a relationship (of whatever nature) that is really fulfilling in the way you long for.

And I'm sorry you are having trouble with your hobbies. I lost my number one hobby a few years ago and it took a part of me with it. My hobbies right now basically include "fandom and playing games and browsing the Internet" with an occasional random craft or bit of writing thrown in. I don't feel like I really have a passion or a goal right now, though I truly believe I will find something. I want to leave a positive impact on the world and right now I really can't do much but I'm working towards a time when I will be able to do so...it's just going to take a lot of work.

After years of trying out different people I finally found a counselor who I really connect to and trust and who actually is able to help me. I think over winter break I'll go see her again.

So sorry for the long response. Your post just really resonated with me idk. Feel free to PM me or email me (I can give you my email address) if you want to talk about any of this, or just have someone to chat with. It might actually help both of us <3

*hugs if desired*