fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2148 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2148 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 080 secrets from Secret Submission Post #307.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 4 - doing a bit of troll-weeding ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

No, we get mad when people make jokes that aren't funny. DO IT BETTER.

Sorry, I'm too busy being baffled by the fact that dead Elvis jokes and sacrificial goats got by, but making a joke about not recognizing an obscure Renaissance painting is somehow trolling.

But I'll give it my best try. Have you heard the one about the two hikers?

They come to a fork in the road and decide to split up, and meet up the next day. The one who goes right has a lovely hike, and when he meets up with his friend on the other side of the valley he says, "Great trees on that side! How that the left?"

His friend replies "It was super fabulous, dude!" (he was from California in the 90's). "I met this girl who was tied to the railroad, and I untied her just before a train came! She was so grateful that she let me bang her all day!"

"OMG, seriously?" replied his friend. He glanced down the trail, hoping to catch a glimpse of the mysterious girl. "Did she swallow?"

"I don't know. I couldn't find her head."

The joke wasn't about not recognizing the painting though, was it? I think that's what ticked some anons off.

I didn't get the hiker joke -- can you tell another one?

I can't find her head, as in the hiker pulled the girl off the tracks but not in time so the train still took off her head and that was why she didn't complain about the sex.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

I love you.

Canada's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Canadian search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

OMG I love you too. I love you so much.

Do you? I can fix that.

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"

"Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him". So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, the vet says, "I'm going to have to put him down."

"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"

"No, because he's really heavy".

You do realize you're just making me love you harder, right?

I feel like I should be recording the mating call of agentcthulhu in the wild for the Discovery channel or Attenborough or something.

Oh you. *blush*

Oh yeah. Definitely Attenborough. He would totally be into throaty anon cries of tastelessly hilarious jokes interspersed with the trilling and fluttering of knit-mask covered tentacles.

What's brown and sticky?

Brownies!

And a twig!

And honestly, why the hell is the idea of someone not recognizing Jesus offensive? Or not knowing the details of his details? It's not a famous painting, it's got, like, only two allusions to the resurrection myth in it, and frankly, it's not a fabulous representation.

I was joking, but seriously, WTF is up with this reaction?

I guess the joke just flopped! Them's the breaks.

[ SECRET POST #2148 ]

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