[ SECRET POST #2148 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2148 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.


__________________________________________________



10.


__________________________________________________



11.


__________________________________________________



12.


__________________________________________________



13.


__________________________________________________



14.


__________________________________________________



15.


__________________________________________________



16.


__________________________________________________















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 080 secrets from Secret Submission Post #307.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 4 - doing a bit of troll-weeding ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Sup.

Looks like lots of other people have already done the encouragement thing, that's great. You say you're isolating yourself, and I suppose you could do that, but if your problem is friends or lack of friends or people to be with, then chances are that won't help very much.

I'm going to just talk about your post. I don't know you or anything more about you, so I'll just be going on what you've given. Correct me if I'm wrong about anything, okay? Talking things out can help, sometimes.

First of, you talk about friendships never going anywhere and not lasting and so on, and feeling that success doesn't matter if you can't connect with people. It's good that you don't blame people for walking away- it wouldn't be very fair to blame other people for feeling however they choose to, but at the same time, that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to understand why, or just think that because they do that, it means that there's no point to you being around. You might not necesarily love the plot of every single book you read, but that wouldn't necessarily mean there's no point to those books, someone else might find them meaningful, it's hard to say.

You mentioned not being good at things and feeling that you get in trouble if you speak out. How? Why? What reasons do people give for finding that troublesome? Answer those questions! Maybe it's they were actually addressed- the problem with going silent is that it's like treating a symptom. If the underlying issue is still there, then nothing is really solved at all (and clearly nothing HAS been solved, if you're still feeling miserable).

You feel bad about your art and think you're slow- well, it's great you're still working, but stop for a while and think a bit, why are you still doing that? What are you drawing for? WHO are you drawing for? Why draw, what's the point of it, what are you getting out of it? Are you happy? Does it make you happy? If it doesn't, why not stop? What would happen if you did?

Ask yourself all of these questions, don't just continue with something because you feel like there isn't anything else- 'there's nothing else', this doesn't somehow make continuing on with a bad choice okay. If you're drawing because it makes you happy (and by that I mean you, not makes someone else happy who makes you happy in turn), if you're doing it because you want to, and not because you THINK you want to, then keep on with it. If not... think about it a while, I suppose. About what you really want.

And as for what the point is of being alive for any person at all, personally, I don't think there's some kind of 'super point to staying alive in general'- I do think, however, that there could be. Or that people could make their own points, or find their own points, and come up with them.

You don't feel entitled to things like friendship and attention. In that case, I'd want to ask you something- would you be willing to work for them, instead? Isolating yourself isn't a very good way to get friends, nor does it make people take notice of you. Right now, all I know about you is that you're unhappy. But what else is there? There's definitely more to you, I'm sure about that. Even if it's not all pleasant (no one's all pleasant, honestly), it's still something that makes you unique, isn't it?

And here's the thing about friends- personally, I don't think people SHOULD feel entitled to have friends or positive attention- I've seen people who think they ought to get that and then demand it of other people, and I don't think that's right. On the other hand, that's not what you're doing, you're not specifically going up to people and going 'pay attention to me'. It looks a lot more like as if you want someone to pay attention to you, but don't know how to go about that.

So here's a suggestion- why not pay attention to other people? Start making friends with them, instead of hoping that they might make friends with you. Find out what they're interested in, see if you're interested in any of that, and then build on it. Go beyond fandom! Ask them what they like, what they dream about, what they want, what they hope for. Ask yourself the same questions, so you have something to talk about as well, if people ask you about yourself. Be willing to share that, and also be willing to share in what other people might offer. Let them talk, and pick up on that. Friendship is, and has always been, a two way street.

It's not that hard to make friends... if you're willing to work at it and find out what other people want or enjoy or like. I know some people might say, hey, if I just cater to other people, that's not being myself at all, that's not right- and I'd agree with them. But it IS important to know what other people like. The reason for this is so that you can find out if you have anything in common with them, or anything that you could be friends with them over, not so that you can tailor your responses to appeal to whoever it is. If someone you like turns out not to have anything you could be friends with them about, that's a shame, but that's how things are, sometimes. Chances are there'll be lots of other people around, too, so pick yourself up, move on, and start all over again.

It's not easy, but lots of things aren't easy. And if you've already hit the bottom, there isn't much that you'd lose, is there? By trying something like that.

Lastly, about the people who walked away or stopped responding- did you ever ask them why? Did they ever respond, and answer, or give you information as to what the issues were? If you haven't tried asking, you should, and I'm sure at least one or two people would be willing to respond.