[ SECRET POST #2148 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2148 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 080 secrets from Secret Submission Post #307.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 4 - doing a bit of troll-weeding ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Heeelp!

[(Anonymous)]

'Hey, just to let you know, when you treat me in a certain manner, like (examples here), I feel uncomfortable and uneasy because (reasons here). I would prefer it if you didn't do that'.

OR preface that with

'When you act in (actions here), it makes me feel as if you might be implying (what you think here). If this is the case, then I should let you know that I'm not interested and don't want anything like that at this time. If I'm misinterpreting you, I'm sorry, but you should know that... (above comment goes here)'.

Does this make sense?

Several steps to this. State what the behaviour is without saying whether it's 'good' or 'bad'. Is he trying to be nice? Is he not? Never mind, you don't need to mention that here. Then state how you feel about the behaviour. State why you feel that way, and what about the behaviour makes you feel that way. Tell the guy what you'd rather him do, and make it clear that you would be happier and your life would be better if he changed what he was doing.

Notice this doesn't actually touch on what his motives are, and instead assumes he would like to make you comfortable / not offend. If he's TRYING to be nice and meaning to be nice, this is the best way to address it.

Now, if he tries to invalidate your feelings (i.e. 'no, you don't REALLY feel that way / you actually feel this way instead'), then NOPE THE FUCK OUT OF THERE, this is not being nice at all, this is bad stuff and you do not want to be around that any longer than is necessary. Feel free to explain as much as you want why you feel a particular way and make as much sense of that as possible, but don't let someone tell you that it's wrong to feel.