fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2161 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2161 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 098 secrets from Secret Submission Post #309.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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In the early days of Inglourious Basterds fandom, there was this awful multi-chapter Shosanna/Fredrick fic that got worse and worse with each part. I don't have the link to it on hand (and frankly, I don't care to), but there are some excerpts I have thanks to one of my friends who capped bits and pieces for our shared amusement.

It picked up from the canon events of the film, which, as anyone who has seen it is well aware, they shot each other dead. Except here, not only does Fredrick - who was shot in the back - gets up off the floor on his own, he also manages to pick up Shosanna (who was shot right in the chest) and carry her out of the theater before it became engulfed in flames and bullets.

They managed to find a doctor and heal overnight, because apparently, they have Wolverine's immune system.

Shosanna was awakened by the sound of deep breathing, her eyes were still adjusting to the light when she saw the figure moving on the floor. As the light seemed to fill the room she realizes its Fredrick doing push ups, without a shirt on, she could faint if she wasn't so worried.

I had seen the author of the fic comment on other S/F stories, and she was really, really into the idea of Fredrick being a race supremacist. Like, really into it. I mean, it's a premise that could work if handled well in regards to his feelings for Shosanna and how they could forge a relationship, but this fic didn't do that. At all. It can be summed with just one line dialogue from Fredrick, upon learning the truth of Shosanna's identity,

"But you have such good genes."

Also, he kept calling her "Mein Schatz" over and over, like a broken record of doom. She kept getting mad at him, but she'd also keep fucking him (and all scenes faded to black, so there wasn't even any smut for my troubles).

With that realization Fredrick abandoned his gun and as it thudded to the floor he pulled her into his arms. She opens her eyes and looks up at him with surprise, opening her mouth to threaten him but missing her chance as he kisses her forcefully until she gives in and they fold into each other.

"She opens her eyes and looks up at him with surprise, opening her mouth to threaten him but missing her chance as he kisses her forcefully until she gives in and they fold into each other."

What are they, origami cranes?

[ SECRET POST #2161 ]

Re: Bad fic is the best fic

Re: Bad fic is the best fic