fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2170 ]

[ SECRET POST #2170 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2170 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Nikita (CW)]

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03.

[The Pirates! Band of Misfits]

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04.

[Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell]

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05.

[Star Wars Expanded Universe]

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06.

[Buffy the Vampire Slayer / Angel the Series]

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07.

[Avengers/MCU, Steve Rogers and Tony Stark]

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08.

[Go On]

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09.

[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine]

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10.

[Sailor Moon]

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11.

[Persona 4]

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12.

[Kili/Tauriel, The Hobbit]

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13.

[How to Destroy Angels/Mariqueen Maandig]

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14.

[Glee]

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15.

[Les Revenants]

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16.

[The Walking Dead]

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17.

[The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest]

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18.

[Gyakuten Saiban/Ace Attorney]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 060 secrets from Secret Submission Post #310.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Honest to God, this past week, I think I've been going through a mental breakdown or losing my mind. I've been screaming at my family with anger I've never felt before towards anyone, let alone the people I love. I stormed out of the house so upset I even forgot my shoes. Trying to go to the park nearby to calm down, I felt like someone was watching me the whole time when logically no one was even there.

I got so upset when I was late to work today I threw up twice. I've had these splitting headaches that are sending me into moments of what feel like mini blackouts and moments of sweating like it's the middle of summertime. Today, I thought about seriously killing myself. The only things that were keeping me alive were my job and my grandparents and it doesn't feel like enough anymore.

This isn't me. This has come up so suddenly in the past two weeks that if this was happening to anyone else, I'd think they were crazy. Maybe I am. But I don't know what to do. F!S, I can't think of anyone to turn to. I can't turn to my family. They are still very upset with me for being so angry, but it feels like I can't stop. Right now, it's all I can do to bury all this and just barely function.

Just to clarify in case anyone thinks they knows what might be wrong, the basic facts are these. I'm 22, female, and I've never had any sort of mental illness before in my life. Physically, I am healthy as a horse. My mother's side does have a long history of depression and at least three great-uncles committed suicide.

Please help. I honestly don't know if I'll be alive at the end of this week.

Go get some help if you can afford to/it is available, anon. I have been there, and this is not a time to button down and hope that things will turn out okay. I don't want to scare you -- you seem to be scared enough -- but this could turn out really badly for you.

My episode turned out with me jumping off of a small building, breaking my leg, and being diagnosed with the start of full-blown schizophrenia. Don't follow me. ♥

Could be burn-out. Besides being mentally exhausted, are you physically exhausted as well?

In any case, I'd go to the doctor immediately.

:(
:(
:(

go talk to a doctor and / or a psychologist as soon as possible. this is not normal - the headaches, the anger, the suicidal thoughts, feeling like people are watching you - and it's no way to live, and you need help, help that anonymous strangers on the internet might not be able to give, immediate IRL help. PLEASE BE OKAY I AM ROOTING FOR YOU

You will be okay. Trust me. You will be okay.

First off, do yourself a favor, get away, if only for a day or two, and put things into perspective.

I sort of acted like a psycho at 22 because I had some serious RL shit going down, too, that was just not meshing with my life and expectations. Sometimes just identifying what it is that's triggering you into these fits of rage/psychosis/whatever helps to correct the problem. With me, it was my career goals and how they were stressing me out to the point where I would scream at my sister for stupid shit and get into fights with my dad.

Once I stopped applying for the job, I evened out and matured. Your early twenties are confusing as fuck, and sometimes harder than your teens, because suddenly the world has bigger expectations of you acting like an adult and assuming adult responsibilities, and it's hard to navigate.

Just remember that about 90% of us have been where you are now. Everything will end up okay, I promise.

You just have to figure out what it is that's setting you off, and see what you can do about it. Whatever it is, pursuing it is not worth this, whether it be a friend, significant other, job, move to a new place, whatever.

definitely try to get help from a psychologist, it does sound like something that might even need medication

Joining everyone else to say doctor and/or psychologist, ASAP.

If the reason you can't talk to your family is because they're upset over you being angry, sit them down and tell them about the depression, the suicidal thoughts, the headaches and blackouts. If there's a family history of depression and suicide, they will probably take that seriously. I think most people would take blackouts seriously. You can apologize for being angry, but right now you are having a health crisis and need help now.

Something like this happened to my roommate. She went to the hospital and they said it was a migraine. She didn't feel any pain or anything, she just went completely and utterly off the rails, vomiting, freaking out, and got scary mad at her parents. Which sucked, because I had to call them to take her to the hospital.

Seriously, if you can at all afford to, go to the emergency room. Bring up the headaches and vomiting first, and then mention an unstable emotional state. Try to avoid mentioning mental illness, it's much better to make sure the doctors rule out a physical cause first. You don't get undiagnosed from mental illness, and it's a terrible thing to get on your record.

it's a terrible thing to get on your record

Why do you say that? This comment is troubling me because it seems like it feeds into the stigma of mental illness that prevents most people from seeking care for it in the first place

Because if you don't have a mental illness, and you get diagnosed with one, you are essentially fucked. It takes incredible amounts of effort to get a doctor to go back on a diagnosis, even if it's 10 years later and you haven't had an issue since the original incident. There are also jobs that you cannot take if you've ever been diagnosed with mental illness. Finally, two different experiments on the diagnosis of mental illness have show that it is ridiculously easy to get a doctor to say that you're schizophrenic, bipolar, or any other diagnosis, even if you have absolutely none of the symptoms, and incredibly hard to get them to think that you are not mentally ill after that initial diagnosis.

For those reasons, I feel quite safe in advising people to try to find a physical cause first before potentially exposing themselves to the massive and down-right nasty prejudice against the mentally ill.

Please please please see a doctor. Any doctor. While most everything sounds like a full-on mental breakdown, the mini-blackout headaches sound like it could also be due to a physical problem. I don't mean to scare you, but this is not something that is just going to pass; you really should seek some form of medical help.

You are not crazy and this is nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes our bodies do some extreme shit under stress. It's ridiculously difficult to get through, but you have a better chance if you get professional help.

Go see a doctor ASAP.

There's a chance chance the migraines caused brain damage which then causing the sudden psychological issues, or the emotional issues caused the migraine to appear which then made your emotional issues worse. Even if the migraines and the emotional issues are not related, seeing a doctor to relieve the migraines should help you feel less keyed up all the time.

Repeating what everyone else has said.

Go and get help. Go to a psychologist/psychiatrist, go to a doctor, go to the emergency department if necessary.

The combination of physical and mental symptoms sounds serious to me, and your concerns seem well-founded. Don't settle for a brush-off, as I know some doctors can be dismissive - get a second/third/fourth opinion, whatever you have to to feel like your old self again.

Echoing everyone else. Please talk to a doctor about this as soon as possible. Go to the ER if you have to. Just don't give up yet. You can get better.

That sounds exactly like me at 22, sounds pretty much exactly like my manic/mixed episodes at that age as well right down to the storming out of the house with no shoes (for me it was wandering around my neighborhood in my socks in below freezing temperatures, on wet streets)

See a doctor and talk to them about this stuff! Sounds like you might actually have a mental illness (if there isn't any logical or understandable reason why you would be screaming at your family, ie. they are screaming at you or being emotionally or verbally abusive, and even that doesn't rule out mental illness for sure -- that could even exacerbate latent mental illness to the point that it manifests itself)

I mean, now that I read this comment I think "no duh" but the point of it was just to let you know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE and there are others who struggle with the same issues. I know that, if you happen to be living in the US, it is very difficult to get the proper care you need and saying "see a doctor" doesn't really help. I was uninsured until very recently and I was able to get care at a Catholic Charities clinic that I found through my city's (state's? I lived in the capital of my state so I get confused all the time) health department. I would start there, we had this program called Bridges to Care and as the name suggests, the point of the program was to connect people with medical needs with charities that could help them. There are a lot of medical professionals who volunteer their services either for free or on a sliding scale. I'm seeing a psychiatrist right now for free as part of his volunteer work (though he's about to stop seeing me...)

I don't have any advice, but stay strong! I hope you can get help. Keep us updated if you can. Hugs if you want them.

I wish you luck anon. Would you mind updating us/me each day with your progress? Trying to work out through similar rage issues. I'm more worried my anger will be shared around rather than at myself.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #2170 ]

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a more important post regarding medical care

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