fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2185 ]

[ SECRET POST #2185 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2185 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[not a repeat; was broken yesterday]

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[not a repeat; was broken yesterday]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 034 secrets from Secret Submission Post #312.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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So how's everyone holding up with the extra family time over the holidays? Loving the family cheer? Ready to wring necks? Happy to be back with people who just get you? Biting your tongue every other minute to keep yourself from snapping and coming out too soon out of spite every time they say something thoughtless? (Er - might be generalising from the personal there.)

Loving every minute? Ready to knife yourself in the face? Sucking it up and dealing? Sad at the prospect of leaving again?

Ready to knife everyone else in the face. Which is new and I'm taking it as a sign of improving self-esteem. :D Bright side for the win!

Glad I don't have to deal with it. :)

By sleeping for far longer than I should / having some alone time with a book in my room. Hot tea is also a must.

I've been sleeping way too much lately as well, like over 12 hours a day which isn't good. I like to get up at around 10am at least on days when I don't work and I have to get up at 6:30am for work tomorrow, which is going to be hard after six days of staying up almost that late

For me, I'm sleeping a lot more because I'm still coming off being sick. Add that to all the rich holiday food we have (and that I helped cook for hours) and slightly spiked drinks, I'm pretty sure that was enough to induce hibernation-like sleep. I also have the luxury of being on holidays, which makes it okay for me to loll around the house like this, haha.

Of course, socializing during the holidays takes a toll on me, as I'm sure lots of people are experiencing right now. When that happens and I have to go out earlier, I try to go to bed earlier to give myself that few hours margin. :)

Well my mother has been giving me the silent treatment since last night (as I understand it, "If I can have the TV when Doctor Who is on, you can have it when Downton Abbey is on" was actually code for "I'll watch Doctor Who then storm out when Downton Abbey is on and refuse to talk to my daughter for 24 hours because she dared to assume that what I was saying was actually what I meant."

Granted it was always going to be a crap Christmas (20 years of spending it Mum, me, Nan and brother; nan died in May, brother has moved to China), but all she's said to me today was (on getting up) "Feed the dog, I hate Downton Abbey." Joy(!)

I'm not going to insult your mother, but rest assured I'm holding back choice words about how rude and immature that is.

Knife in the face. These motherfuckers will tell me about every last one of their problems but don't give even half of a fuck about any of mine (they can't even bother remembering what my majors are) and I'm starting to wonder why the hell I put up with them at all.

Loving every minute. I want to hug everyone so hard today.

Everyone's gone, but I hate it when they're over. Not because I hate my family, but because I hate how angry my Mom gets about appearances and judgement and shit. It makes her short fused and prone to snapping, not to mention if she's angry, she does about dealing with it by making me upset to the best of her ability so she's not the only miserable one in the house.

Too bad I've figured that out and learned how to tune it out when she gets that way, though.

Does my mom have a secret family? O.o

Are you me, because this is exactly what my mom does. High-five!

My husband usually works nights so this is the first time in a long time we've spent more than 24 hours together and we got in two major fights over Christmas, on Christmas Eve and on Christmas Day... he just blows up at me over stupid shit kinda like I used to do before I got treated for bipolar disorder and I obviously don't know how to handle it properly. I can't deal with someone yelling at me over nothing, I just revert back to the way I used to be. So I've been an emotional wreck the entire time and to TOP IT ALL OFF there hasn't been any booze in this house since neither my husband or my housemate drink much at all. I know most people won't believe me but alcohol really does calm me down and makes me forget how depressed I am

Christmas has always been the shittiest time of year no matter what

That sounds awful. Is there any way you can get some space/time to yourself, make it clear that you're in a bad place and need a help to deal?

Well he went back to work today, so he's back to working the same night shift. I've been alone all day and it's given me time to decompress. I worry about him, he's not acting like himself and even other people have expressed concern about him so I know it's not just me. I sort of worry about his mental health sometimes considering his mother is very mentally ill and those sorts of things are inherited (he also had a similar upbringing, child abuse etc that usually exacerbates these kinds of things). It's just that whenever I suggest that maybe he should see a doctor or counselor for these things he lashes out at me. I wonder if we even love each other anymore on a daily basis, we both seem to be very abusive to each other sometimes and sometimes we are very close and it's just like earlier in our marriage, but we just signed a 2-year lease on this house so there's nothing I can really do right now as far as moving out (I live in one of the most expensive cities rent-wise so I don't know if I could afford to live alone right now). And he won't work the night shift forever, eventually we are going to be around each other on a daily basis. We do have a three bedroom house and there's a room I can escape to and be alone but that's not really the same.

Both of us are seeing other people and I don't think that really helps, but I got really attached to the person I'm seeing now so I don't feel ready to end that relationship (even if we dropped the "benefits" part of our friendship it really wouldn't matter, if we were still hanging out)

My life is just a world of shit right now

Mostly OK, except for my sister, who's on this self-righteous, "I don't need presents and you shouldn't want material things!" kick. She was very judgmental yesterday while we were opening presents, and I wanted to say, "Look, we get it, you don't like material things, but don't ruin this for the rest of us!" It's very hard to take.

Thankful we have a needy cat that hates car rides so the family can only get us for three days |Db

Christmas was just my immediate family (thank god), which wasn't too bad. (I don't think I could've dealt with it otherwise. My mom is in a terrible mood lately and it's spreading to everyone else.)

Ugh. I love seeing some family, the rest of them I can do without. I rambled a bunch here yesterday already, but I have to echo the comment about moms who like to keep up appearances. Mine also likes to make a fuss about 'behaving' around grandparents even though we're adult age and have been for a long time. Way to make me feel 16 again.

Also my engaged-again uncle? Apparently gives his fiancé an allowance. (She works, but I guess he controls all the finances. I finally see why he's never actually managed to get married, not that I didn't before. He's a bit of an ass.)

Thankfully I'm going home tonight otherwise I would have knifed myself in the face already. :P

Holidays with my family are limited to a couple hours, which is probably for the best. That said, holiday gatherings have been pretty drama-free lately. I hate to say it, but it's because my grandmother passed away. She couldn't get through Thanksgiving or Christmas without insulting someone. She and my uncle (who decided to cut off most family ties and no longer spends holidays with us) were the only ones who really created any frustrations. Granted, they could also be entertaining.

The only frustration this year is that my mom can tend to dominate the conversation. I love her, and love spending time with her, but sometimes I can't get a word in when we're visiting with family.

I spent most of Christmas napping, watching the Doctor Who Christmas special, and writing fic.

Remembering why there used to be a short time in my life when I truly hated my sister and thoughts of suicide weren't a once in a blue moon kind of thing.

I love my family in general (including my sister, paradoxically enough), but there were two instances this Christmas where I nearly choked on my rage. Not that anyone noticed. /fucking bitter

I decided once I got married that I was not going home for any holidays except maybe the 4th of July (my parents live on 30 acres in an unincorporated area; fireworks are legal there and my mother takes full advantage of this). So far this has worked out great. No one nagged me about going to church, I did not get into any political arguments, and I got to sleep as late as I wanted.

I have seen fewer of our circle of friends than I would have liked this Yule, and my sister does live in the same metro area I do (although way at the other end) and she didn't go home either, so I should probably drop by and see her at some point. But the only drama we've had is that the spouse's computer crashed and the backup hard drive has been exceptionally finicky about letting him reload anything. Much better than explaining to my homophobic aunt and uncle why I did not vote the same way they did.

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[ SECRET POST #2185 ]

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