[ SECRET POST #2195 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2195 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 076 secrets from Secret Submission Post #314.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[velvet_mace]

Yeah, I think the Doctor could do better than a companion who is only journeying with him out of pity. And, honestly, the way the Doctor's been moping about the last 6 years, I think that pity company is the last thing he needs. More like an Ace level kick in the pants.

[(Anonymous)]

*re-reads secret*

I don't see where "pity" is mentioned in this secret.

It's rather strange how some people just can't understand the idea that some people can actually enjoy making another person happy. Like, they get as much enjoyment out of making someone happy as another person would get out of seeing the universe. It is possible. Perhaps you've never experienced it, and don't know how satisfying it can be?

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT

I'll do a lot to make my family happy, I'll do things I wouldn't otherwise do to make my friends happy, and I think making people happy in general is a positive thing, but apart from feeling like I did a good thing I don't really get anything out of it with anyone I don't know.

Maybe it's an introvert/extrovert thing. It's harder for some people to be around other people at all.

[velvet_mace]

Well, she doesn't really want to travel or have excitement, but ... just to make him happy... she will. That's pretty much the definition of pity there. So martyring! So altruistic! As though either of those things are actually desirable in a travelling companion. I can't think of anyone, much less the Doctor who would find travelling with a person with that attitude as anything other than a depressing annoyance.

Making other people happy doing things that make you happy is great. Making other people happy by martyring yourself is not.

[(Anonymous)]

Exactly what I meant in my anon comment.
Of course making people happy can make you happy.
Willing to endure a lot of things you don't like solely to bring happiness to someone who, actually, looks like he does pretty well on his own at choosing his company, is willing to be a martyr.

Hardly healthy, especially IRL.

Also, it's not as selfless as it sounds. It's rather a way to try to prove how noble you are. And people like that then get depressed because they don't get enough thanks from the people they help.

[(Anonymous)]

Wow, what you're describing is REALLY specific and not remotely a general description of all people who might get satisfaction out of something other than the universe-sightseeing part of traveling. I mean, it's kind of like describing wanting to have kids as being willing to endure constant cooking and cleaning and yelling and chauffeuring for the sake of someone else.

Also, lol @ you for thinking that people who enjoy making other people happy do it to get thanks. You sound even more sociopathic than in your first comment.

[(Anonymous)]

me thinks you don't know what sociopathic means

also that describes perfectly the op of the secret, they explicitly said that they hate sightseeing, adventure, excitement, etc.

[(Anonymous)]

NA

it's kind of like describing wanting to have kids as being willing to endure constant cooking and cleaning and yelling and chauffeuring for the sake of someone else

...it's not?

[lunabee34]

LOL

I had the same thought. I love my daughter and the little sprog I'm currently cooking, but um. Yes. Lots of enduring and denying of the self go along with parenthood.

[velvet_mace]

Yeah, no getting out of that. *Is a parent as well*

But I can't help but think that the kids would not be the better for a parent who didn't really want kids for themselves, but was only having them in order to make someone else happy.

[lunabee34]

We are in complete agreement on that. (Along with boggling at all those people who think having a kid will fix a relationship or heal problems they're having)

[velvet_mace]

And they do! Holy cow, I've met people who had kids for the purposes of keeping their marriage together -- and of course, it broke the relationship apart even faster. Nothing stresses a relationship like needy, needy babies.

I mean, it's all well and good to think that you can live your life for someone else's pleasure, and just live off the altruistic good-feel, but it gets to be a grind really, really fast. Caretakers have to do it, and I've never met a caretaker who didn't have days when they wanted to scream and run away and do the things they wanted to do for once.

But, getting back to Who, I don't think the Doctor needs, or would appreciate, being "caretaken".

[lunabee34]

Yes, yes, yes.

Every relationship I have ever seen (both romantic and platonic) in which one person "lived" for the other in this altruistic way ended very badly and was deeply unhealthy. And I agree with you about caretaking roles. My mother cared for my ailing grandmother for years, and she did it with the kind of grace I can only hope to come close to should I ever be in her position, and it wore her down to a nub. She had to quit the job she loved. She's permanently damaged her back, and she and my dad were essentially trapped in the house with MeeMaw all the time until she went to a nursing home (and even then, my mom visited her every day). I have a great deal of respect for the way my mom handled my grandmother's end of life issues, but it was miserable for my mom.

Sadly, I have only seen like one episode of Dr. Who ever and cannot comment on the show specifically.

[velvet_mace]

Eh, he's like any action hero: glamourous, smart, able to do pretty much anything in a pinch, and completely self-sufficient. And like most people, he enjoys the company of people who love the things he loves and values the things he values -- travel, excitement, meeting new people, and hands-on involvement in the lives of an endless parade of complete strangers.

Which is what makes the OP's secret rather naively absurd. It's like pairing Bella Swan with 007.

Also, your parents sound awesome. I hope they are now recovering a bit from the ordeal.

[lunabee34]

*hugs* They are awesome, and they are doing really well. :)

Thanks for the info about the Dr. I keep meaning to try to get into this fandom and having too much TV to watch as it is. LOL

[velvet_mace]

I think there is a real important difference here between having children and all the fuss that goes with them, and journeying with the doctor. And that difference is, while most people aren't too thrilled about cooking and cleaning and yelling and chauffeuring -- travelling all of space and time is not a chore.

There are no lack of takers who would love to give the Doctor company on his journey. Why on earth would he settle for the person who is only doing it as chore, or to be generous, on the off hope that maybe his enthusiasm will catch on to her. He doesn't need to settle for the person who is only going on the trip because it will make him happy. He can get the person who goes on the trip because they really want to go on the trip, and that way he gets to share in her enthusiasm and excitement and joy of travel.

[(Anonymous)]

Except the OP doesn't ever say s/he'll be miserable doing all that but will think it's worth it. It's entirely possible that knowing how happy it makes him will cause him/her to enjoy it. You're really, really narrowly jumping to a very, very specific conclusion here.

[velvet_mace]

Why wouldn't she try to make someone happy who had more compatible interests, then?

The irony is, that the Doctor, for the last few incarnations, has been selecting companions for the purposes of him being able to revisit the universe through their unjaded and enthusiastic eyes. If they aren't going to be enthusiastic and excited to see the universe with him, he's not really going to be able to get much out of them as a companion. He doesn't really need a homebody who just wants to hang out with him and "please" him. He honestly doesn't have much interest in that type of person.