[ SECRET POST #2195 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2195 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 076 secrets from Secret Submission Post #314.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

There's a difference between a 5 year plan to woo the person you are in love with and plan to be with, and a 5 year plan to get laid with the person you think is hot. It's okay to be nice if it's genuine, it's not okay to pretend to be nice just to get laid. I know it's up to interpretation, but I honestly don't think Stiles is being nice just to get laid.

[(Anonymous)]

... except his wooing is still not taking into account the fact that Lydia's not at all interested in him. He's still trying to win her affections because he feels that he in some way deserves them. It's possible to be a nice guy in an effort to "win" a relationship. It's not always just about sex.

[kaijinscendre]

I only watched the series a bit but didn't Lydia go to prom with Stiles (or ended up with him at prom before the whole Peter mess)?

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, but she only went as a favor to Allison/as an apology for making out with her boyfriend.

[kaijinscendre]

Did she tell Stiles that? Because if not that would be a very confusing message. "I don't like you romantically and we will never go out but let's go to the prom together as a couple."

[(Anonymous)]

They never really showed her explicitly telling him, but it was pretty obvious that she was still interested in Jackson and her going to prom with Stiles =/= being willing to date him on a regular basis.

I actually didn't mind the way Stiles acted towards her at prom, since he seemed to recognize her interest in Jackson and wasn't being a dick about it and trying to convince her that he was better. Things weren't handled as well in season 2.

[(Anonymous)]

I agree - I had no issues with them in S1. It was S2 where there started being issues.

I actually really wish that they had gone through with Stiles/Erica. Then even if they came back to Stiles/Lydia down the road sometime when they were more mature, it would get away from the whole single-minded obsessive not being able to see anyone but Lydia thing that Stiles has going on. Maybe some people find that romantic, but I don't.

[velvet_mace]

Actually, it's not at all different. Sure having sex is crass, but even if you are just wanting platonic friendship, this form of pursuit doesn't take account of the fact that the object of your affection is not an object. She has feelings, desires, dreams, and hopes that are not the same what you imagine hers should be. If you are wooing a person with a 5 year plan, you are basically admitting to wanting to manipulate an unwilling person's life for your benefit.

If a relationship is meant to be, there is no need for a plan. It will organically grow without all the calculating or manipulation, because she will be working as hard to make it happen as you do.

[(Anonymous)]

What? Relationships do not always just magically appear ex nihilo, with feelings developing on both sides at the same time, in the same way, and at the same rate. If that is how your relationships have worked, you are unbelievably lucky.

There is nothing wrong with wooing someone. There is nothing wrong with doing nice things for someone because you like them. There is nothing wrong with making plans in hopes that you might impress someone you like/love. Making efforts to begin a sexual/romantic/platonic relationship is not wrong in and of itself-- and it does not necessarily imply some sinister intentions to manipulate someone for your selfish benefit.
There is absolutely something wrong with doing nice things because you feel like relationships are a simple transaction of nice acts for sex or love, and that your (unsolicited) kindness entitles you to something from the other person.
... but these are not the same thing.

I am legitimately baffled by this comment.

(And all this outside of Teen Wolf-- because this comment is much, much broader than the criticism I've heard of Stiles.)

[velvet_mace]

Relationships are mutual. It's not that baffling. If you are pursuing one and the person you are pursuing is telling you LOUD AND CLEAR that they are not interested, doggedly pursuing them is stalking.

This isn't about holding out your hand in friendship and having that other person realize you are there and pretty neat and accepting it. It's about thrusting out your hand in friendship and then refusing to believe it when that other person says, "please go away." 5, 10, 15 years? How long do they have to put up with you before you will finally leave them alone?