[ SECRET POST #2195 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2195 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 076 secrets from Secret Submission Post #314.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[velvet_mace]

Actually, it's not at all different. Sure having sex is crass, but even if you are just wanting platonic friendship, this form of pursuit doesn't take account of the fact that the object of your affection is not an object. She has feelings, desires, dreams, and hopes that are not the same what you imagine hers should be. If you are wooing a person with a 5 year plan, you are basically admitting to wanting to manipulate an unwilling person's life for your benefit.

If a relationship is meant to be, there is no need for a plan. It will organically grow without all the calculating or manipulation, because she will be working as hard to make it happen as you do.

[(Anonymous)]

What? Relationships do not always just magically appear ex nihilo, with feelings developing on both sides at the same time, in the same way, and at the same rate. If that is how your relationships have worked, you are unbelievably lucky.

There is nothing wrong with wooing someone. There is nothing wrong with doing nice things for someone because you like them. There is nothing wrong with making plans in hopes that you might impress someone you like/love. Making efforts to begin a sexual/romantic/platonic relationship is not wrong in and of itself-- and it does not necessarily imply some sinister intentions to manipulate someone for your selfish benefit.
There is absolutely something wrong with doing nice things because you feel like relationships are a simple transaction of nice acts for sex or love, and that your (unsolicited) kindness entitles you to something from the other person.
... but these are not the same thing.

I am legitimately baffled by this comment.

(And all this outside of Teen Wolf-- because this comment is much, much broader than the criticism I've heard of Stiles.)

[velvet_mace]

Relationships are mutual. It's not that baffling. If you are pursuing one and the person you are pursuing is telling you LOUD AND CLEAR that they are not interested, doggedly pursuing them is stalking.

This isn't about holding out your hand in friendship and having that other person realize you are there and pretty neat and accepting it. It's about thrusting out your hand in friendship and then refusing to believe it when that other person says, "please go away." 5, 10, 15 years? How long do they have to put up with you before you will finally leave them alone?