case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2013-01-05 02:40 pm

[ SECRET POST #2195 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2195 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 076 secrets from Secret Submission Post #314.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2013-01-06 12:32 am (UTC)(link)
Why not just tell her that it's something you're not comfortable discussing with her *because* she is your mother? It could just be the local culture where I am, but for a lot of people here having a parent asking about what you find physically attractive [or sexually attractive in any case] would be viewed as the parent crossing a boundary - unless there was a legitimate reason for the parent to be concerned about something related to that aspect of their child's life. ["Honey, are people harassing you because of...?" type of deal.]

(Anonymous) 2013-01-06 03:21 am (UTC)(link)
Damn, what local culture are you from? I'm jelly.

(Anonymous) 2013-01-06 03:38 am (UTC)(link)
AYRT

Eh, it's not as good as it sounds. Part of the reason is because talking about sex, in general, between anyone but your friends and SO is generally frowned upon. That's not really the best thing when it comes so some *other* aspects of sex/sex health ^^;;

*Medical professionals can be an exception, but well...a lot of people aren't exactly comfortable with that

(Anonymous) 2013-01-06 03:48 am (UTC)(link)
DA

So if you and your mom are sitting there watching a movie and she goes, he's handsome don't you think? That's inappropriate?

(Anonymous) 2013-01-06 04:28 am (UTC)(link)
AYRT

Yes and no. If she's doing it out of 'Isn't he pretty?' then no - but if she's doing it in a way that it sounds like the OP's mom is doing it [AKA: Don't you think he's attractive/fishing to find out if I'm sexually attracted to him] then yeah. It would be viewed as a little skeevy.

(Anonymous) 2013-01-06 02:47 pm (UTC)(link)
nayrt

I know that when my mom wants to talk about oral sex with her boyfriend at me, I do have to draw the line at REALLY MOM, CAN WE NOT TALK ABOUT THIS?

(Anonymous) 2013-01-06 05:40 pm (UTC)(link)
AYRT

There is a significant difference between talking about sex acts and talking about the attractiveness of other people. One is intimately sexual in nature, the other can be a whole other host of reasons.

The other anon made it sound like any talking about sexual attraction was frowned upon, which would suck imo. What if you slipped up and made a comment during a movie or talking about the actor with the wrong company? Suddenly you're this floozy who flaunts their sexuality in everyone's faces.

OP

(Anonymous) 2013-01-06 07:18 am (UTC)(link)
Interesting to hear that about your local culture (though the taboo on talking about sex sounds really frustrating) - I don't think that's as much of an issue where I am. I wouldn't care about my mom bringing this up if I had an answer for it (which I do now, hooray!) because she and I are pretty close and talk a lot. I'd feel like I was being rude if I told her to back off because it was making me uncomfortable, I don't know. (She usually brings it up when we see movies or are watching TV, that kind of thing.) I'm pretty sure she's just trying to do "girl talk."

Re: OP

(Anonymous) 2013-01-06 04:55 pm (UTC)(link)
AYRT

It's not really, seeing as it's what I grew up with/am used too.

That said, it's not rude to ask someone to back off when it's something that's making you uncomfortable. If anything, it's rude when they *don't* back off after being asked, tbh - but I'm glad you're not in that position anymore.

Re: OP

(Anonymous) 2013-01-08 03:41 am (UTC)(link)
Not to be mean, but she could suspect. As a general rule, my friends who were 100% straight as could be never got asked.

It was those who weren't 100% straight who got the "Your assignment is to write a three page paper for me on the gloriousness of the other gender's genitals." and also the casual "He's got nice eyes" "Nice eyes? You think he's sexy. You want to have sex with him. You should go ask him out." All done 'playfully', and 'teasingly' but... very high pressure.

I still remember I got a phone call from a LARP buddy. Mom came creeping in "Who was that?" "Mike" "Mike? Is he good looking? Do you like him? Tell me ore about Mike" "He's 45, bald, and has a wife." "...... Oh.