[ SECRET POST #2196 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2196 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.


__________________________________________________



10.


__________________________________________________



11.


__________________________________________________



12.


__________________________________________________










Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 060 secrets from Secret Submission Post #314.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - empty image with a text comment ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Any advice on not being bitchy, f!s? Lately I've been prone to bitchiness around my parents (my dad especially, partly because he's being especially irritating, partially because I generally have a tendency to internalize anger towards my mother and externalize it towards my father). I'm living with my parents temporarily, which isn't really helping, although apart from my own bitchiness the living arrangements themselves aren't really a problem. (It's only for a couple of months, and I'm actually generally enjoying it, as I haven't been able to see my parents as much as I wanted to in the past year and have a really decent relationship with them under normal circumstances, regardless of a couple of things we'll never see eye to eye on). I just keep reverting to my 14 year old self whenever I'm the least bit irritated rather than dealing with it as my (hopefully more mature) mid-twenties self, and it's driving me up the wall.

[(Anonymous)]

It takes practice, but simply hold it in/bite your tongue, try to think of the consequences (do you really want to hurt your dad? how would you feel if someone talked to you that way? etc.), and hopefully the moment passes and the irritation you feel subsides. Try not to frown, too.

[blueonblue]

It really does take practice. Try to act in kindness and forgive yourself when you fail. Sometimes it helps to have responses prepared ahead of time, especially if the same kinds of conversations are annoying you.

[(Anonymous)]

Try to make a considerate attempt to be nicer to your parents who seem to be doing you a favour by letting you live with them again.

Just try to swallow any pasive agressive comments you have and either don't comment or try to be considerate and have an open dialogue. If you can't physically bring yourself to try to change yourself, you need to accept that you will always be bitchy towards people.

[intrigueing]

Basically, the best way is to put inertia on your mouth. When you feel the urge to say something, try to stop, reflect on whether the comment is nasty, and weigh whether it'll be of any help or use whatsoever if you say it. If it's pointless bitchiness, just keep your mouth shut. If it's useful bitchiness, try to rephrase it to be more tactful.

Yes, it's way, WAY easier said than done, but if you tell yourself this and try to keep it in mind, it's statistically more likely that you'll catch yourself before you say stuff you'll regret.

[citrinesunset]

Unfortunately, I don't think there's an easier way than just trying to be aware of how you're acting and thinking before you speak.

But also, think about if there are times when you can express what's bothering you directly. I have a problem sometimes of not admitting something bothers me, but passive-aggressively expressing it in my tone, which I try to watch. The way I try to think is, if a frustration is worth expressing, then I should be able to handle it maturely. And if it's not that important, I don't need to make it a big deal.

Being direct can also be good sometimes if you're frustrated about something not related to your parents. Saying, "Man, I'm tired. Work has been so hectic. I feel like I could scream" is better than snapping at people because you're stressed. And if you're honest about being stressed or needing some quiet time, your parents might be able to respect that.

You might be reverting to your teenage self a bit because you're not used to negotiating living with your parents as an adult. You might need time to decompress sometimes, but unless your parents are on the clingy side, you can probably negotiate that without too much drama. There's nothing wrong with saying, "Mom, Dad, I'm really tired so I think I'm going to chill out for a while" if you're feeling frustrated or claustrophobic.