fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2202 ]

[ SECRET POST #2202 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2202 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Sorry, early today!

Also: I'm not going to officially warn for tongue-in-cheek "triggers" just to provide anyone with a fandom-specific in-joke when there are none in the secret.

Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 140 secrets from Secret Submission Post #315.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Here's the thing, a lot of people don't understand rape. They think it's this violent pouncing in a park or some shit. A lot of men, a lot of people in general, don't understand that fucking a person who is unconscious or too drunk to consent or roofied, they don't understand that that is rape. So a lot of the "don't' be that guy" type of teaching mean not to rape campaigns are about educating people that yeah, that's rape. Don't do that. And yeah, I think it's important.

So yeah, a lot of men rape women because they don't know it's wrong. And that's why educating men not to rape and what counts as rape is important.

My question is where do the victims of female rape fit into this?

Hell, most people don't think that women are even capable of rape.

Here's the thing. This thread specifically is talking about the rise in "teaching men not to rape" campaigns. So people here are probably going to be specifically talking about that. While I understand your point and yes it is important, I feel that bringing it up in this thread is a type of derailment. There is a lot of work that needs to be done educating people about rape - about all kinds of rape - I totally agree. But that seems like a different discussion than "teaching men not to rape" discussion. Or at least a different thread within the larger rape education discussion.

I'm sorry, but the whole campaign seems to be endorsing the idea that "only men rape, women are the only victims". Why can't it just be "Teaching people not to rape"?

The idea that women can't/don't rape is a LIE, and it's a slap in the face to rape survivors like myself. But I'm just supposed to sit here and and quietly 'wait my turn', while MY experiences are being derailed by the perpetuation of false stereotypes.

NA

I don't know enough about the campaign to comment on its merits, but yeah -- it should be about teaching people not to rape.

Needs more SJW jargon. Hasn't reached critical mass yet.

Say derailing again. I'm so, so close.

HAHAHAHAHAHAH

Uunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnffffffffffffffffffff.

Here's the other thing - male on female rape happens to 1 out of 3 women. Female on someone else? Closer to 1 out of 10. So male on female rape happens a little over 3 times more often - and so people *are* going to focus on it more.

I'm not saying female rapists don't exist, or aren't a problem. I was also raped by another woman. But there is an understandable reason why people tend to focus a little more on the type that's more common.

Sadly, I think it's going to be a while before society at large accepts that female-on-female and female-on-male rape/abuse can and does happen, given that it's taking this long and this much effort just to get people to understand male-on-female rape. (And male-on-male rape is a whole 'nother can of worms... We're really just not good with accepting that women can be abusers and men can be victims.)

Properly speaking, it should fit in in the same place, because women are also capable of committing rapes they don't understand to be rape, just as men can be raped in such a way. Everyone needs the same education so everyone is operating under the same definitions.

tl;dr Everyone keep their hands to themselves and out of the pool.

LOL this nonny got the GC going thou 7/10

Is female-on-male or female-on-female (or for that matter, male-on-male) rape culturally validated* in the same ways male-on-female rape is? I am legitimately curious about the answer to this.

*'validated' is probably not quite the right verb but it's the closest that's coming to mind right now

The way I've seen it, female-on-male rape is taken more seriously if the female is an adult and the male is a small child. A 35 year old woman raping a five year old boy would be taken more seriously by the public than a 35 year old woman raping a 35 year old man. Because the society normal is that a man should be strong enough to fight off a female rapist or men like sex, any kind of sex, all the time, so they can't be really raped because, really, they enjoy it so much because they are men. Because of this, men are less likely to report being raped than women because of the stigma attached to it. That if you didn't like the sex, even forced sex, you are not "a real man."

Maybe a young child. Once they hit double digits we seem to consider them adults that want it as well.

http://www.tampabay.com/news/courts/article1183449.ece

I think if we're willing to charge male rape victims with child support we're not really taking it seriously.

wow...

so many things I want to say to this, but just...wow.

Around the country there are plenty of cases of underage boys who got a woman pregnant and then tried to avoid paying child support. The 15-year-old in California who was seduced by the 34-year-old mom next door. The 13-year-old boy in Kansas who had sex with his 17-year-old babysitter. The 15-year-old boy in Florida who impregnated a 20-year-old.

Under a strict interpretation of the law, these boys, by virtue of their age, were raped. But family courts have seen these incidents for what they were: consensual sexual encounters. And as a result, they have ordered the boys to pay child support.

FUCK YOU, YOU BRAINLESS DOUCHE CANOE!!! You really think a 13 year old boy can consent to sex? You certainly wouldn't be saying it about a 13 year old girl. FUCK YOU!!! Those boys were raped, and now they are being further punished for crime committed against them. Those women should be in prison.

I think not so much validated as trivialized. In fiction a female sexually assaulting a male is often played for laughs.

The same place that victims of male rape fit in? (I just read that sentence back to myself and groaned. Pun most definitely not intended.) But anyway, men can rape men. Men can rape women. Women can rape men. Women can rape women. Intersexed people can rape and be raped by men or women. Rape happens when someone has sex with someone else without their consent. So if a sober woman pressures a drunk guy into having sex, or a sober women pressures a drunk woman into having sex, those are both rape, just like a sober man pressuring a drunk woman or man into having sex would be rape. It is gross when people laugh off the idea of a woman raping a man by saying that men are always willing to have sex, just like it's gross when people say that woman on woman rape can't happen because women don't have penises and so can't rape. Rape is about consent, not the genitalia or gender identity of the people involved.

A lot of men, a lot of people in general, don't understand that fucking a person who is unconscious or too drunk to consent or roofied, they don't understand that that is rape.

Bullshit. This message is everywhere. This is like saying "a lot of men don't understand that speeding is against the law."

The problem is that people then blame the subsequent rape on the drunk person, while still believing the rape was wrong.

The problem is that a lot of the horrible teenagers standing by while that girl in Stubenville was brutalized were... GIRLS!

The problem is that we as a society find prison rape hilarious in and of itself.

This is not a patriarchy problem. This is a kirchiarchy problem at best. If you want to have a don't rape each other meeting fucking SIT EVERYONE DOWN FOR IT.

Stubenville is the town that's covering up a teens rape isn't it? The one where the school and principles are letting the boys off easy and punishing her for coming out about it?

People say there's no rape culture :( Depressing as it is, I hope all situations like that come to people's notice so the word can get out

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #2202 ]

Re: Teaching Men Not to Rape (tw)

Re: Teaching Men Not to Rape (tw)

Re: Teaching Men Not to Rape (tw)

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SAY IT?! I'LL DO YOU ONE BETTER!

Re: SAY IT?! I'LL DO YOU ONE BETTER!

Re: Teaching Men Not to Rape (tw)

Re: Teaching Men Not to Rape (tw)

Re: Teaching Men Not to Rape (tw)

Re: Teaching Men Not to Rape (tw)

Re: Teaching Men Not to Rape (tw)

Re: Teaching Men Not to Rape (tw)

Re: Teaching Men Not to Rape (tw)

Re: Teaching Men Not to Rape (tw)

Re: Teaching Men Not to Rape (tw)

Re: Teaching Men Not to Rape (tw)

Re: Teaching Men Not to Rape (tw)

Re: Teaching Men Not to Rape (tw)

Re: Teaching Men Not to Rape (tw)

Re: Teaching Men Not to Rape (tw)