Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2013-01-12 02:39 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2013-01-12 02:39 pm
[ SECRET POST #2202 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2202 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Sorry, early today!
Also: I'm not going to officially warn for tongue-in-cheek "triggers" just to provide anyone with a fandom-specific in-joke when there are none in the secret.
Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 140 secrets from Secret Submission Post #315.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
tl;dr ahoy!
I think one of the reasons I fell for Doctor Who so hard is because I realized I feel like the Doctor in a lot of ways. I'm pretty intelligent on the whole, I travel almost constantly, have weird and sometimes hilarious adventures, and sometimes I feel like... idk, like my friends sort of idolize me for being a really unusual sort of person who runs around doing their own thing and having an exciting life. But on the inside I don't always feel like a cool go-getter who is witty and off-beat and lovable. I often feel like a loser for various reasons, keep a lot of my selfdoubt and angst inside, and can get terribly lonely, especially in the midst of a group of people. For all that I'm smart, I'm awful at really communicating with people, often relying on humor to get me through situations that should probably be serious, and have some difficulty keeping up a long term relationship of any kind.
I'm so often away from home that I feel like "real life" is running away from me, skipping past while I rush around looking for it. I sometimes get envious of people who sleep in houses and drive the same route to work each day and just generally have far more mundane lifestyles, despite the fact that I chose this life and mostly love it. I feel like I really grok the Doctor when he talks about how important, meaningful, and even wonderful ordinary lives are. "Human Nature" (actually one of the episodes that got me thinking about all this) kind of wrecked me because I felt like I had made the same choice that John Smith did. It's worth it, but God, I've given up so much, even the stuff I was never going to do anyway, the possibility of it.
It's mostly with the sad stuff, I know, but that's because I'm not a 900-year-old alien with two hearts. And, at least, I don't have a trail of former
girlfriendscompanions who I left behind and may or may not have broken hearts because of it.ETA: In all that word barf I forgot to add, this is a pretty unusual case for me. I may see bits of myself in a character sometimes, but I hardly ever think about how they might be a lot like me.