fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2204 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2204 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 091 secrets from Secret Submission Post #315.
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Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Sorry, but no. If your boyfriend has had sexual attraction to both men and women he's formed an emotional bond with/known for a period of time than he is Bisexual. Sexual experience=/=an orientation.

Bisexuality = an attraction to men and women. My boyfriend is attracted to neither. Currently, he is attracted to me. When he had crushes or dated other people, he was exclusively attracted to that one person. Nothing to do with their physical appearance of any sort.

Really, his only sexual experience has been with me, so if I was going to argue that experience equals orientation (which it most certainly doesn't), I'd be arguing that he was gay, which he is not. If you are assuming that he's had sex with both men and women and is therefore bisexual, then you're the one trying to argue that his experience defines his orientation.

And lastly, you don't get to decide what his identity is, thank you very much.

Your friend's body might take a different route, but the end result is the same. Orientation is not based on how you experience your sexuality, but who it is or isn't directed towards. And to quote another good point:

"The base of this false movement is “identity.” You’ve probably heard the term “identity politics” used to refer to people who believe that identity colors one’s experiences, and this idea is not without merit. Identity is an important concept, and is essential to the fighting of bigoted stereotypes and ideas about marginalized groups. It is very easy for people who have never lived or seen a certain kind of oppression personally to believe that it just doesn’t happen, even despite statistics. But people who seek to misuse the term take that concept all the way down the slippery slope. According to them, as long as someone identifies as something, it is true. No exceptions.

Think about that for a minute.

Do you identify as a butterfly? Then you are one. Do you identify as a pie? Then you are full of buttery, fruitilicious goodness. If you follow the “to each their own” philosophy, one could almost wave the basic idea as long as it didn’t interfere with, you know, reality. But this is the dark side of the internet, and it devours all common sense like a black hole eats light. And we’ve already crossed the event horizon. Anything not mainstream is “oppressed” in this wonderland. Wielding identity as a weapon, one can entirely remove themselves from personal responsibility for their part in harming others, and ultimately, any negativity at all.

Wow. Because he's attracted to personality type rather than physical type, you're comparing him to somebody who identifies as a butterfly?

Yeah, I'm done trying to reason with you.

They make a good point, dude. You can't just say "IDENTITY!" and use that to justify every single possible label under the sun. I'm not totally against people using demisexuality as a label, personally, but it's not a separate sexual orientation of its own. It's a different way of processing attraction, of which there are many; these are all separate things from orientation.

I'm not? I'm arguing for the recognition of demisexuality and demisexuality alone because it is a legitimately separate function from both asexuality and pansexuality. Moreover, I'm arguing that people should stop being complete fucking dickbags about it. Yes, I get it, some demisexuals are assholes! But that's because they're assholes, not because they're demisexual. You all seem to think that every demisexual person is playing the oppression olympics, like there's no demisexual person out there who isn't white, cis, or able-bodied, like none of them have anything better to do than be batshit on tumblr of all places.

And the reason I'm arguing and my boyfriend isn't is because he's a lurker. He doesn't post anywhere and he avoids tumblr like the plague. He is not whoever you seem to think he is. When he found out about demisexuality (about four years ago now), it wasn't even a well-known thing. He found a word that described the way he felt and was quietly very happy with it, until everybody and their goddamn grandma had to misconstrue it into some special snowflake thing, and now judgmental assholes everywhere are lumping him in with some morons just because they're using a word they've never seen before. And it's upsetting. And I'm fucking tired of it.

tl;dr-My boyfriend has an orientation that isn't an orientation, so shutup you gaiz!

[ SECRET POST #2204 ]

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