[ SECRET POST #2212 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2212 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 063 secrets from Secret Submission Post #316.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

For my part, this trope is one I can understand. My mother had to leave my alcoholic father and that led to some hard times for her, for my brother and for me. We ended up living with my grandparents, and in the last years of his life, my grandfather heaped huge amounts of emotional abuse on my grandmother and mother. That he died before I could talk to him about this and get out my anger, and work it through with him, will always be an enormous regret to me, a hurt that can't be assuaged - and that was more than 40 years ago.

My mother, on the other hand, refused to allow my brother and I to hate my father. She was brutally honest about his failure as a husband and a father; she also was unbelievably understanding about the man she had once loved. That enabled me to reconcile with him before he died, and I am so glad that happened.

I think this trope does, cause real pain and frustration for the people who have had family experiences so bad and so alienating that I cannot begin to understand them. I am so very sorry that this is the case. And for the OP and others to hate to see this trope come up repeatedly is understandable.

Forgiveness and reconciliation, however, are such strong themes in human stories - whether it's within families or between friends, or between communities - that it isn't surprising when writers feel the story can be told and retold.

What I would like to see are more stories where the journey is started, but is a) as difficult as it can be in real life; b) doesn't always work; c) isn't always the right thing to do; and d) is never, EVER, easy.

[(Anonymous)]

i get what you mean

it's not so much that it's a bad idea to explore in a story, so much as that writers have too many times constraints and/or can get lazy and/or have executive meddling going on, so the idea is squeezed for cheap melodrama instead of being properly explored

(i'm mostly thinking about sitcoms and stuff, where one episode has the parent and child reconciling and the next episode it might as well not have happened for all the impact it caused)

[thene]

The night my father died, an older friend told me that her relationship with her father had continued, and improved, after he was dead. Go figure.

[(Anonymous)]

Late, and I don't know if you or anyone else see this but Due South is basically how an estranged father tries to reconcile with his son. There are swings and roundabouts, but eventually there's a kind of understanding.