Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2013-01-22 06:44 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2013-01-22 06:44 pm
[ SECRET POST #2212 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2212 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 063 secrets from Secret Submission Post #316.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2013-01-23 05:48 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2013-01-23 06:26 am (UTC)(link)Basically, according to the theory of modernization (which is considered basically disproven these days), some of the things modernization must come hand in hand with is the centrality of man, disintegration of the extended family unit, and getting rid of religion.
While the Western world has embraced a lot of these things (and well, the theory was conceived in the West...), there are many societies nowadays who are rejecting this form of modernization, and striving to find their own definition of what it means to be 'modern'. (we see this a lot in China, for example, but you can also see variants of Western modernization in the Middle East and Africa).
The thing is, if you consider family meaningful in and of itself, this trope makes sense. I'm not talking about situations of extensive abuse or anything, but I myself live in a society where family has extremely closely-knit ties. The idea of rejecting family because you don't get along with them is basically a Western one. I mean, look at the Western standard family unit - few children, and not much extended family. Contrast with my family, where I have so many 'uncles' and 'aunts' that I'm not sure how they're even related to me.
To people living in the more alienated Western society, it's true - this *doesn't* make sense. But they're not really stepping out of their own circumstances, to see the positive sides of a society in which family *does* play a paramount role.
In many less Western societies the idea of parental roles and what children 'owe' parents is conceived differently, and this is not necessarily a negative thing.
OP
(Anonymous) 2013-01-23 10:46 am (UTC)(link)Personally, I have no problem with this trope if the cultural background justifies its execution; the problem is its pervasiveness in Western families without examination. I'm tempted to believe this is one of a few holdovers from our Christian/Catholic roots, of which "honor thy mother and father" is (or was) a tenet of the religion. Which is a necessary rule to lay down when the stability of the community rests on the harmony of the families, but modern society is stable enough on its own. In media, there's often no real justification for giving a character a rocky relationship with their parents except to toss in a reconciliation plot. Taking the example in my secret, Myka would have been just as believable as a character if she had a loving and stable relationship with her family, and in fact might have made it more believable that she rushed to her father's side when he fell ill - at least for me. If they're just going to have the relationship start over with a clean slate, then why bother throwing in a reconciliation plot at all?
...I feel I may have lost track of where this comment is going... It's quite late over here :|a Anyway, my point is, I definitely see what you're saying and I agree that it is a very culture-specific problem. But that's why I chose a Western show and not an anime ;)
Re: OP
(Anonymous) 2013-01-23 11:08 am (UTC)(link)That's really kind of what I wrote in my first comment XD
no subject
(Anonymous) 2013-01-23 12:44 pm (UTC)(link)Genuinely curious, how does your society usually handle it when there is abuse in the family, or a lot of poisonous habits and behavior in general? Because even with the extreme individualism in the West, we still have problems with families tolerating or hiding abuse, or protecting abusers (particularly outwardly successful ones), so as to maintain the good reputation and cohesion of the family unit. I've always wondered if that was better or worse in a society that traditionally prizes family as much as the individual.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2013-01-23 05:26 pm (UTC)(link)I don't actually live in a completely traditional/tribal society. One of the big problems is, I think, transitional societies: you don't have the self-policing power of the community, but at the same time, you still have certain holdovers.
In a more traditional society, the power of the community was usually a powerful factor. The idea of "saving face", of inappropriate behavior, could bite both ways.
For example, in traditional Chinese society, sometimes young brides who were treated badly wanted to suicide not just to end their own pain, but so the maltreating family would have to deal with the shame and ostracism of having mistreated her to that point.
Some behaviors, like certain kinds of verbal "abuse" are more tolerated. For example, my grandmother sometimes makes comments about my appearance, which I find unpleasant. But I understand that she does love me, and will help me to the best of her ability should I need it, and so I make the decision to let the comments roll off me. Sometimes I talk to my mother, when both of us are feeling frustrated (she deals with much more difficult stuff, sometimes). Certain decisions about running the household are made in order to minimize friction, and sometimes we all just have to shut up and scream into our pillows later. But none of this actually negates what she has done for us, and the fact that she loves us (and just doesn't see what she's doing).
In a more traditional society, though, there would sometimes be extreme treatment of people behaving wrongly. Osracism in the ancient world was a powerful tool. Or, another example, men who refused to divorce their wives and treated them badly could actually be beaten to death, leaving her free.
I'm not trying to present traditional society as some kind of perfect thing. But there is an issue of expectation. If you grow up "knowing" you need to deal with certain things, you also develop coping mechanisms. I can say honestly, I prefer my (flawed) more community-based society to more Westernized ones, which feel cold and impersonal to me. I can't fathom having a family of less than 150 people.