[ SECRET POST #2215 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2215 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


There is a moving gif in this post.


01.


__________________________________________________



02.
[Rose McGowan]


__________________________________________________



03.
[Puella Magi Madoka Magica]


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.
[Fringe]


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.
[Touhou Project / Axis Powers Hetalia: Romaheta / Kuroshitsuji / Homestuck]


__________________________________________________



08.
[Being Human UK]


__________________________________________________



09.
[Three Kingdoms 2010]


__________________________________________________



10.
[Legend]


__________________________________________________



11. http://i.imgur.com/fO4RU.jpg
[linked for kind of porny/suggestive postures of possibly underage character]


__________________________________________________



12. http://i.imgur.com/T28p7.jpg
[linked for illustrated porny x 2 (clothed, but that doesnt do much)]


__________________________________________________



13.
[Downton Abbey]


__________________________________________________



14.
[Xia Junsu/Tarantellera]


__________________________________________________



15.


__________________________________________________















[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]














16. [SPOILERS for Downton Abbey]



__________________________________________________



17. [SPOILERS for Homestuck]



__________________________________________________

















[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]















18. [WARNING for abuse]



__________________________________________________



19. [WARNING for abuse]



__________________________________________________



20. [WARNING for incest]



__________________________________________________

















Notes:

Late day at work, sorry.

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #316.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - template ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know if it was similar, it's kind hard for even me to explain it to people so I rarely do...
My dad struggles a lot with anxiety, anger, and addiction and doesn't really have any friends or people he trusts. When I was a young kid I felt like I was responsible for pacifying or calming him down, even when he was upset about his custody arguments with my mom. In retrospect, even through our peaceful daddy-daughter nerd times (which were many because he was friendless, often unemployed, and incredibly childish and possessive about my several-days-a-week with him) I was always careful to not upset him. Ultimately, though, it was impossible for me to predict what would make him upset (because it was irrational, and not my fault, but I felt like I had to fix it regardless). He was never actually violent, or even especially mean (though I remember being told I should feel grateful that my father wanted to spend time with me and didn't just leave me to my grasping mother. NICE PARENTING ASSHOLE.) I wouldn't call it abuse, I don't think. Not like what your mom did at all. But I was an over-sensitive neurotic kid just like he's an over-sensitive neurotic man, and it hurt.

There isn't a lot of yelling in my life, but a few months ago I realised that I was freezing, unable to concentrate, and panicking when my partner would get angry and yell over his online gaming, almost crying if it happened a few times in a row. So, there you go. My extremely specific issues. What's that saying about every unhappy family being unhappy in their own way? I'm glad we both got to share :)
If there's someone tracking writing styles and over-sharing anons in this comm, they've totally got my number at this point...

[fuchsiascreams]

I'm sure that Breaking-All-Your-Kid's-Stuff-Isn't-Abuse Anon would not consider that abuse, but it is. It's emotional or psychological abuse, at the very least. Do you know what the definition of emotional abuse is? It's when a person, usually a parent, repeatedly responds incorrectly to a child's actions (for example, SMASHING THEIR LAPTOP TO PIECES BECAUSE THEY WERE ON THE INTERNET PAST THEIR BEDTIME, or constantly slandering their other parent). Nothing that happened to me as a child (though I don't want to get into the specifics, unless somebody asks) are terribly awful - like, I would never listen to someone who had been raped as a child and think, "My childhood was that terrible, too" - but even though a lot of people might not consider it abuse, I still have profound interpersonal issues as a direct result of some of the things that my parents and step-parent did. Don't be so hard on yourself. Some people can deal with it just fine; some people, like you and I, experience long-lasting effects from it. It probably comes down to individual personality/sensitivity level, but that doesn't mean it wasn't abuse. I mean, if you're getting freaked out by listening to your partner yelling at his game, then you obviously have some kind of issues there, because that is not a normal response to listening to someone yell at a game.

The fact is that what you and I experienced are perfect examples of why responding to your child's minor infractions (or even MAJOR infractions) by smashing all of their possessions is inappropriate and maladaptive. You are not teaching your child that there are consequences to misbehaving. You are teaching your child that their boundaries do not exist to you, and you can do anything you want to them, because they're your child and you own them. You are teaching them that violence is an acceptable and normal response to mild annoyance. If you have to display violence or aggression of ANY kind in order to teach your child a lesson, then you're doing something wrong, because it really isn't necessary (or healthy). My mom, dad, and stepmother never laid a hand on me, and yet I can clearly point out all of the many maladaptive behaviors that I've accrued over the years because of their constant inappropriate responses to very small misbehaviors that I did a child (and I wasn't even a bad child. I still struggle to this day with trying to figure out what was so bad about me as a kid that forced my parents to abuse me in that way).

[el_regrs]

I would definitely say destroying a kid's laptop as a punishment is a kind of psychological abuse.

In addition to the lack of boundaries, it's an appalling show of disrespect for the child and his/her property.

A parent's own personal brand of butthurt does not trump their child's feelings of security.