fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2215 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2215 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

There is a moving gif in this post.

01.

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02.

[Rose McGowan]

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03.

[Puella Magi Madoka Magica]

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04.

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05.

[Fringe]

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06.

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07.

[Touhou Project / Axis Powers Hetalia: Romaheta / Kuroshitsuji / Homestuck]

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08.

[Being Human UK]

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09.

[Three Kingdoms 2010]

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10.

[Legend]

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11. http://i.imgur.com/fO4RU.jpg
[linked for kind of porny/suggestive postures of possibly underage character]

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12. http://i.imgur.com/T28p7.jpg
[linked for illustrated porny x 2 (clothed, but that doesnt do much)]

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13.

[Downton Abbey]

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14.

[Xia Junsu/Tarantellera]

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15.

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

16. [SPOILERS for Downton Abbey]

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17. [SPOILERS for Homestuck]

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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

18. [WARNING for abuse]

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19. [WARNING for abuse]

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20. [WARNING for incest]

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Notes:

Late day at work, sorry.

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #316.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - template ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm sure that Breaking-All-Your-Kid's-Stuff-Isn't-Abuse Anon would not consider that abuse, but it is. It's emotional or psychological abuse, at the very least. Do you know what the definition of emotional abuse is? It's when a person, usually a parent, repeatedly responds incorrectly to a child's actions (for example, SMASHING THEIR LAPTOP TO PIECES BECAUSE THEY WERE ON THE INTERNET PAST THEIR BEDTIME, or constantly slandering their other parent). Nothing that happened to me as a child (though I don't want to get into the specifics, unless somebody asks) are terribly awful - like, I would never listen to someone who had been raped as a child and think, "My childhood was that terrible, too" - but even though a lot of people might not consider it abuse, I still have profound interpersonal issues as a direct result of some of the things that my parents and step-parent did. Don't be so hard on yourself. Some people can deal with it just fine; some people, like you and I, experience long-lasting effects from it. It probably comes down to individual personality/sensitivity level, but that doesn't mean it wasn't abuse. I mean, if you're getting freaked out by listening to your partner yelling at his game, then you obviously have some kind of issues there, because that is not a normal response to listening to someone yell at a game.

The fact is that what you and I experienced are perfect examples of why responding to your child's minor infractions (or even MAJOR infractions) by smashing all of their possessions is inappropriate and maladaptive. You are not teaching your child that there are consequences to misbehaving. You are teaching your child that their boundaries do not exist to you, and you can do anything you want to them, because they're your child and you own them. You are teaching them that violence is an acceptable and normal response to mild annoyance. If you have to display violence or aggression of ANY kind in order to teach your child a lesson, then you're doing something wrong, because it really isn't necessary (or healthy). My mom, dad, and stepmother never laid a hand on me, and yet I can clearly point out all of the many maladaptive behaviors that I've accrued over the years because of their constant inappropriate responses to very small misbehaviors that I did a child (and I wasn't even a bad child. I still struggle to this day with trying to figure out what was so bad about me as a kid that forced my parents to abuse me in that way).

I would definitely say destroying a kid's laptop as a punishment is a kind of psychological abuse.

In addition to the lack of boundaries, it's an appalling show of disrespect for the child and his/her property.

A parent's own personal brand of butthurt does not trump their child's feelings of security.

[ SECRET POST #2215 ]

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