[ SECRET POST #2216 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2216 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 120 secrets from Secret Submission Post #317.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - personal attack ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[tabaqui]

I always thought of that kind of thing as the person who was telling us the story having a little private thought, like 'Mrs. Doe's feather muffler and skinny neck gave her an odd appearance (like a vulture), and her grating voice didn't help.'

That's how i've always interpreted it.

[likeadeuce]

That's what parentheses are for, yes, but that's not dialogue. Or it would be very odd, stilted dialogue. It's a written convention, that's all I'm saying.

[(Anonymous)]

Exactly. Above anon's example reads fine to me, but if it were something like:

"See that woman over there?" Jane asked. "The one with the feather muffler and skinny neck (like a vulture's)?"

Jane is talking here, not just to the reader, but out loud to another person. So is she actually saying the vulture bit to them, and is the reader supposed to expect them to react as if they'd heard it? Or is the bit in parenthesis meant to be read as private thought?

IA that it's confusing and hyphens would be the better choice.