[ SECRET POST #2217 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2217 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Early because sick, sorry.

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 097 secrets from Secret Submission Post #317.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I think OP's point was that the person who left did so voluntarily, in other words implying they didn't care for the people they left behind; and if you were the one who was abandoned, and yet still end up being the one to chase after someone who voluntarily left and doesn't seem to care about you-- isn't THAT what makes you clingy? Trying to remain friends with someone whose actions seemed to state that they don't care about being friends with you, isn't that also kind of pathetic?

Feeling the emotions of being abandoned is like "passively hurting" or perhaps "self pitying"--but whatever it is, it is NOT being "passive aggressive". Where is the "aggression" when you're just quietly hurting over something by yourself? Someone doesn't become "clingy" or "self-entitlement" unless they act on it (ie actually try to pursue the person, or suggest aggressively that they return to LJ, or make a not-so-secret LJ rant about that person leaving, etc).

As a gentle disclaimer, I'm not trying to say OP is right or wrong in not trying anything further to salvage whatever is left of that relationship; I'm only simply trying to explain my interpretation of OP's mentality and therefore one probable reason why she doesn't just "fucking talk to them". Reading the comments accusing OP of simply being self entitled or clingy, I just feel like some people aren't even trying to understand where she/he may be coming from.

If you made it this far, thanks for enduring this wall of text.

[diet_poison]

Look, you're preaching to the choir. I've had some bad experiences in relationships and I can be clingy. I have to watch out for myself. I've been suddenly, without warning, completely ignored by guys who told me they cared about me about five times between three different guys. That is way more of an "excuse" to be clingy than "this person I knew online left LiveJournal". And I still know it's annoying and unhealthy to be clingy. It's something I have to be conscious about. I'm not saying OP doesn't have the right to be upset or hurt, but there really isn't a reason why OP can't send their friend an email. In all likelihood their friend leaving LJ wasn't about *them*.

Friend leaving LJ is NOT "actions that seem to state they don't care [about OP]". Sorry, but that one's on you. That simply is not what that means.

From my perspective? if I (and I have been tempted to do this from sheer frustration) made a Facebook status about how hurt I was and how selfish and immature it is for a guy who said he loved me to randomly walk out of my life with no reason or no warning, that would be passive aggressive of me. There's no way around it. This secret is passive-aggressive and maybe it's because I get this vibe of "OP is trying to get friend back by making them feel guilty about leaving LJ". And on the internet we should be free to go where we please without other people taking it personally or thinking it's all about them. I know I hardly ever spend time on LJ anymore but that doesn't mean I don't care about my friends there. I've had other friends on LJ fade away and stop using their journals and I never once thought it was all about me.