[ SECRET POST #2220 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2220 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.
[Sherlock, The Hobbit, Doctor Who]


__________________________________________________



06.
[Hotel Transylvania]


__________________________________________________



07.
[Skyfall]


__________________________________________________



08.
[Love Actually]


__________________________________________________



09.
[The Walking Dead]


__________________________________________________



10.
[Small Wonder]


__________________________________________________



11.
[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine]


__________________________________________________



12.
[Downton Abbey]


__________________________________________________



13.
[Magi]


__________________________________________________



14.
[Homestuck]


__________________________________________________



15.


__________________________________________________



16.


__________________________________________________



17.


__________________________________________________









Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 042 secrets from Secret Submission Post #317.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[yeahscience]

After reading the thread, I feel like the major difference in opinion comes down to how people think he was treating her before she found out (and also whether people think keeping secret tapes of your crush is creepy, I guess). I'm a little surprised so many people think he did nothing wrong, since the impression I got from the preceding scenes was that he had been pretty cold and distant towards her. Frankly, I think being a dick to a girl you like because you can't have her is a pretty shitty move, and definitely Nice Guy-ish in that it punishes her for his issues without even letting her know why.

Although I also think the thing with the tape is pretty creepy, so YMMV I guess. It's definitely my least favorite story in the movie.

[dancing_clown]

I guess my view comes down to whether he's more obligated to protect her feelings or to protect his own. Which is why his cold distance didn't bother me so much, because it wasn't done to punish her, it was done to protect himself and keep his friendship. Maybe it wasn't the BEST DECISION EVER, but how many people always take or even see the highest roads when matters of the heart are at stake?

[yeahscience]

In the meantime, though, he was likely hurting the girl he supposedly loves. I mean, I have to imagine it was pretty difficult for her to think that her husband's best friend actively disliked her. I just don't have much sympathy for him for that.

[(Anonymous)]

But just because he made a dickish move still doesn't make him a Nice Guy. I think that's the major argument here - sometimes people, even guys, don't do the right thing in charged situations, but that doesn't mean he felt entitled to her affections. All Nice Guys are assholes, but not all assholes are Nice Guys.

[yeahscience]

Yeah, I guess I'm willing to concede the Nice Guy language on him, but I still find him unsympathetic and borderline creepy.

[(Anonymous)]

Have you watched the entire film? Juliet was not super hurt by him being distant with her. She wasn't overly happy with his lack of supposed interest in her, but she wasn't hurt. She was still very grateful for everything he did for her at her wedding. Which is completely reasonable. He's this guy who just didn't seem to get along with her for whatever reason, and she was cool with it so long as he tolerated her relationship with Peter, and then he pulled this amazing stunt at their wedding, and she saw him filming lots.

I have no idea how anyone comes out of that thinking he was being a dick to her. This is one love triangle scenario where all three, in my opinion, acted entirely nicely.

+1

[(Anonymous)]

Exactly. Not being a "nice guy" doesn't mean your emotions are entirely dictated by what makes women comfortable. How horrifying.

[(Anonymous)]

Agreed,

The thing I got was that he'd rather take all the misery upon his shoulders and stay quiet about it in order to protect the happiness of his best friend and the girl he loves. That's not creepy, that's freaking love.

And he didn't even seem all that unpleasant either, maybe just distant or untalkative, otherwise I assume his best friend would have been more worrisome about it. And she seemed quite comfortable around him too, only pointing out that they don't talk much.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think he was being cold and distant because "he couldn't have her," he was being distant because if he had been around her for any length of time he might show that he did have feelings, making it awkward for EVERYONE involved.

[tabaqui]

THIS.

[(Anonymous)]

My feelings about this scene have a lot to do with the (creepy, creepy) tape thing.

[sistermagpie]

Yeah, the tape thing is the actual, obvious stalker moment. I think they needed it because he had to do something that showed her he was in love with her, and I can't honestly think of anything he could have done that wouldn't have come across as stalking for that. Once you make the romantic fantasy/longing external it looks like stalking.

But I think that objectively they made it as non-creepy as a tape of someone could be. She knew she was being filmed, she knew he was filming her, it was all in public. That it was close-ups on her face showed he was in love with her, but at least it wasn't her body or her in private. Any one of the shots in the tape were fine with her. It was just them all being her that showed this was about him gazing at her.

[i_paint_the_sky]

That is probably the best defence possible for that tape and actually makes me feel better about it (like others, that was the part I found creepy, not the scene in the secret, which I absolutely love)!

[nyxelestia]

Here's my thing: was he hurting her? As far as I know, he was just kind if distant with her and didn't really talk to her much/avoided talking to her if possible. This happens all the time in real life, sometimes people just aren't friends or don't talk each other much, and it's not that anyone is being hurtful or antagonistic, they just don't have much in common, or maybe they even do dislike each other but they share a lot of friends so they keep their interaction to a minimum to keep the peace. There isn't really anything hurtful in that.

I can see the tape thing dancing on the edge of creepy. But much like what sistermagpie said below, he wasn't illicitly filming her or filming her in private. She knew he was filming her, it was all in public, and in fact had gone to him to get a copy (not take the film from him, just get a copy) because she wasn't happy with the quality from the people she'd hired to do exactly what he already did.

He's not punishing her and he doesn't expect anything of her. When the situation became awkward, he did what he could to make it un-awkward or at least give the situation a bit of closure so they could move on from it. He may have done some stupid things, but he's one of the last guys in popular fiction who I'd say is a Nice Guy^TM.

[(Anonymous)]

It depends on how bad you think it is to make someone feel uncomfortable. She thought the guy didn't like her, and that was a significant problem seeing as how he was her fiance/husband's best friend. Sure, he was struggling with his feelings, but it's not that hard to NOT make someone think you hate their guts. I agree the Nice Guy (TM) label doesn't really fit, though.

And while the filming itself may not have been illicit, come on... how is it NOT creepy to find out that even though you thought someone was filming a happy crowd scene, they were just focusing solely on one person in it again and again, cutting out everyone else including her new husband? Major icks, there.

[nyxelestia]

Like I said, as far as we know he was polite to her, he just didn't talk to her much and avoided talking to her if he could. Her fiance probably has a lot of friends and it's doubtful she'll get along with all of them, and as a grown adult she'll know that going on. If someone doesn't like you but is polite, anyway, and keeps interaction to a minimum to avoid horrific awkwardness or fighting, then I fail to see how that's dickish behavior.

I spend much of my time at school in a large group of friends, and that means there are some of us who don't get along that well, for various reasons. So what do we do? We don't talk to each other. That way, there's no extensive awkwardness and no fighting. We keep the peace and we focus on the people who we are friends with and get along well with. Not everyone gets along with everyone, and it's arrogant to assume that everyone should.

I can see how the video thing can get creepy, though. Like I said, it's kind of a fine line based on the gray area of Intentions^TM. I, personally, don't find that sort of thing creepy, but I can see how others might find it so.

[(Anonymous)]

The wedding video was done by professionals, not him.

[(Anonymous)]

I think another major difference in opinion comes down to whether you take that last scene as him telling her she's love with no strings attached as a nice thing (or a possibility) or whether her finding out/him telling her that he loves her is inherently a burden because now she has to deal with the fact that he feels that way about her and she doesn't want him to.

I think the movie's clearly trying to show it a finally selfless and generous gesture that frees them both. But some people may never get beyond her being made uncomfortable due to the guy's unwanted love for her.

[(Anonymous)]

I agree that being a dick to someone you like is shitty. I also found the whole showing up on her doorstep with cue cards creepy and maddening, because it puts her in a bad place where she can never just be NORMAL with him again and she can't tell her husband why.

But that said - I think if somebody can't get over a crush (far easier said then done), can't be normal around a crush object (and it seemed like he couldn't) and can't confess to the crush (ditto), being cool and distant is a reasonable way to keep things somewhat pleasant all around. It's not the most noble thing anybody has ever done, but it may have been the best of bad options.

[(Anonymous)]

But it's the video that destroys the normalness, isn't it? Not the poster thing? As far as Peter knows they've always been awkward around each other because Mark doesn't much like her. After the poster stuff Peter would probably think Mark finally stopped being an idiot and they slowly got over the awkwardness, wouldn't he? Because now Mark's moving on and she doesn't have to worry that he either doesn't like her or is dreaming of being with her.