fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2223 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2223 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

i think i discovered where exactly in time i started liking girls and it's kind of weird. behold,i shall vent.

when i was 6 yo i started out playing with my neighbors,a girl 4 years older than me (let's call her Zelda) and her brother, 2 years older than me (let's call him Zed).
i used to mostly play w/ Zed,although when i turned 10 Zelda started being my close friend. one day,she told me we should play "husband and wife". it was kinda cute,until she talked me into "doing adult things" when playing. aka sex.
of course,being a kid,i said yes and since then we used to rub onto each other.she'd place her knee between my legs and basically rub. i enjoyed it just as much as her,even if i didn't know what i was doing.
after a while,Zed and Zelda talked me about sex (images provided on their computer). it wasn't weird then,but now it really seems awkward to think about it.Zelda started losing interest in me and got friends her age,and i kept talking to Zed (he never did anything to me). she started ignoring me and we kind of lost our connection (she really was one of the greatest person i ever met).i was really upset so i stopped talking to the both of them.

i never thought much about this,until i started dating a girl and it turns, out,i'm not straight. i recently saw her around with her bf and i realized she was my first girl-crush.

also for the record,i don't consider what happened to be abuse.if anything,it made me realize who i am.

do you remember your first crush?

Saying it wasn't abuse because you learned something from it is like saying "it's not rape if you enjoy it". She was 14, she knew what she was doing. Whether or not it bothers you, it was abuse.

Just wanted to make that clear.

(deleted comment)

If they were the same age I'd agree with you, but there's a pretty big gap between 10 and 14. And although OP says they're fine with it, the way the story is told leaves me feeling as though Zelda knew what she was doing while OP did not and was taking advantage. But really I guess what it comes down to is that OP is okay with the memory and the situation.

Dw, I'm 20 and never been in a relationship or had a crush. you could be asexual.

Aromantic exists just like asexual - maybe you're both.

I'm not the anon you replied to, but I'm about 90% sure that "dw" in this case means "don't worry."

Anyway, while being aromantic is a thing and you could certainly be that, asexuality is an umbrella term and isn't entirely out of the question just because you like porn. A lot of people identify as asexual as a way of saying they aren't interested in having sex with someone.

Even if you don't consider it abuse you probably should have warned for that.

OP

i'm so sorry i didn;t realize it at the moment.

I definitely had my first crushes around 8-9, but I never admitted to having them until my mid teens. I also "played house" in a similar way with a girl my age (I always wanted to be the husband, she's gay now and I'm bi, awkward memories are awkward). I agree with above anon that a 14 year old doing it is skeevy enough to get a trigger warning...

When I was a kid finding things out about sex for the first time, I thought the girl had to go on top because otherwise the guy would squish her. My dad is a big muscular guy, almost a foot taller than my mom (who is taller than average for a woman), so I can kind of see where I thought that.

When I was eight, a couple of nine-year-old girls I knew decided that they were going to teach me and another girl (seven or eight, I can't remember now) about sex. They also stipulated that the "man" (aka me, since I was bigger) had to go on the bottom to avoid squishing. I remember bailing because even if she was smaller than me, the girl was heavy and bony and I didn't like her siting on me, never mind the bouncing that the older girls insisted had to happen.

What's funny is that they never said anything about getting naked. I think that was another part of why I walked out, actually. Pretty much all I knew about sex was that naked people did it, and if those girls didn't know that, I figured they couldn't really know what they were talking about at all.

[ SECRET POST #2223 ]

probably tmi

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