fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2223 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2223 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 127 secrets from Secret Submission Post #318.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I try my best not to offend people, and I'm very much a sex-positive person, so I'm asking y'all this out of a desire to get this right.

I have a (male) character who is unattached and frequently has casual sex. He's rather open about it, and there's nothing to imply that there's anything wrong with this. He likes sex. At one point, he casually calls himself a slut (as a short-hand way of saying that he has a lot of casual sex). Would this be considered offensive outright, or is it acceptable given the context, or...?

Never, ever have characters say anything that can be seen as problematic unless they are unabashed villains. Otherwise you are a bad person.

The sad thing is I can't tell if this is sarcasm or sincerity coming from you.

It's sarcasm.

I'm pretty sure it's sarcasm but considering some people on the internet*, it actually counts as advice.

*the really stupid ones

Poe's law.

No it isn't (and it was defintely sarcasm on her part). That is horrible advice.

Never do anything (or in this case not do something) soley because stupid people on the internet could be offended.

That is however, a perfectly good thing to use as an intent (doing it BECAUSE stupid people on the internet will be offended).

Someone will be offended no matter what you do.

If you change the story to please others it won't be a good story.

I'm less worried about "general level of offending people" and more concerned with saying something actually problematic. While it's hopeful of me to assume anybody's even gonna read it, I don't want the character and his actions/attitudes to be torn to shreds just because of one poor choice of words. On the upside, it's just one line, and if somebody does explain that it is problematic, then I'm happy to rework it, but if it's not, then I'm keeping it :P

It's really not. Doesn't mean somebody won't have a problem, but it's really not. I could see if your character referred to somebody else as that (even if they self identified) where it might be a powderkeg, but your fictional characters can self identify as whatever they want, by god.

I would say it's OK. Besides, it's not the author's words, it's the character's.

If it is in character so to speak for the character to call himself a slut then go for it!

~~I'm not used to all this choosing the way you express yourself policy, so I might not be the best person to answer this...~~

Haha, it's definitely in-character. He's...rather frank and irreverent. The snag is that he's also internet-savvy and very aware of PC/SJ issues and whatnot, and it would create a bit of a tangle with his characterization if he said something problematic in regards to something he's very, very much involved in. Specifically, with "slut," I'm obviously aware of its insulting origins, but I'm also aware that at least a few years ago, there was a "slut reclamation" thing going on that some people I knew didn't agree with. While I'm reasonably confident in his use of the word as a self-identifier being fine, I also know that I can be a little behind the times, and I don't know what people's attitudes are towards men reclaiming/destigmatizing a word almost exclusively directed as an insult to women.

What the heck kind of thing are you writing

How can people complain about "slut shaming" and then turn around and say it's always a slur, regardless of context. Is that really a thing?

Because people wanna bitch, all the goddamn time. And sense-making gets in the way of the bitching.

there are people this stupid, yes.

I suspect that the only negative comment you'll get here will be someone coming along and telling you that it's offensive because it's a man using that word, so I say keep it. There's no reason to censor writing, particularly when it's character voice. People aren't going to speak like we type on the internet.

Sounds perfectly inoffensive to me. But I completely do not care what comes out of a fictional character's mouth or thoughts so long as it fits for that character in the context provided, and I've never had the misfortune to see any writers hit with negative reviews over such things, so I may not be fandom-savvy enough to say.

The most important question is, would he care if he's offending people? Because if you already envision him calling himself that then it's part of his character, not of you.

Heh, I'm playing a character like that in D&D currently.

As long as it's in-character, go for it. Honestly, we have no clue what this guy is like, or what kind of place he frequents on the internet, or his self-esteem or anything else that might possibly be a factor. From what you've said, it's probably fine - the trouble that lots of people get into is in calling other people sluts, not themselves.

It'd be like a lesbian calling herself a dyke, or [insert ethnicity] calling themselves an [insert ethnic slur]. They're comfortable with the label, and it's not being used to imply that people in that group are inherently lesser than people not in that group.

Hope that helps, even a little if at all. :) And good luck with your writing!

It wouldn't bother me as it's described. Some people aren't comfortable using "slut" as a self-identifier, but that's a very individual thing. It sounds pretty clear that the character isn't using the word to insult anyone, so I wouldn't think less of him.

[ SECRET POST #2223 ]

"Slut" as a self-identifier

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