fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2227 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2227 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

[Roswell]

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02.

[Gyakuten Saiban/Ace Attorney]

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03.

[Pokemon]

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04.

[The Vampire Diaries]

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05.

[Teen Wolf]

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06.

[Les Miserables: Shojo Cosette]

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07.

[The Hobbit]

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08.

[Neil Gaiman, Mark Gatiss, Dan Handler]

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09.

[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012)]

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10.

[Power Rangers]

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11.

[Star Wars: The Old Republic]

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12.

[Big Bang Theory]

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13.

[Breaking Bad]

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14.

[Troy Baker]

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15.

[Magi; Final Fantasy IX]

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16.

[Skyrim]

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17.

[Supernatural]

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18.

[Penn & Teller]

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19.

[Flight Facilities - With You]

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20.

[Neil Gaiman]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 043 secrets from Secret Submission Post #318.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

To make a long story short: I did something nice for someone I was friends with last year. In the aftermath, they made me feel very much taken for granted and ultimately pretty annoyed that I had ever tried to help at all. For unrelated reasons, we stopped being friends after that -- I caught them in an ugly lie and ended it there. We haven't spoken since although we have many mutual friends. As far as I know, none of them know what happened, including the lie.

Anyway, something from this person came up the other day that brought up feelings of resentment and anger, and watching all of our mutual friends continue to fawn over this person is bugging the hell out of me. I absolutely logically know that the best thing to do is forget about it and let it go, but the nasty, immature part of my brain wants nothing more than to round them all up and tell them what happened. I know this is a terrible idea, but I'm having trouble making myself get past it.

So, fs: what do you do to get the fuck over something when your anger is rational but your response is not?

Desired response*, I should say.

Feelings like that are short-lived for me. They only crop up when I think about the person or the culminating event too much. I distract myself from those thoughts with music or reading until I've put them out of my mind.

Usually make a private journal post ranting myself silly. It's sort of like vomiting poison - it ain't pretty, but it'll hopefully get it all out and make you feel better.

I tend to rant about it out loud in the shower, honing my rant until it's all devastatingly epigrammatic, savoring my own delicious zingers over and over...and it's not good for me and I know it. There's solid research to suggest that venting anger is a terrible way to get over whatever has pissed you off--it's really not cathartic, but reinforcing. So the best thing to do is probably to distract yourself. Doing something physical that also requires your concentration is the best--hit the gym and lift weights or take a zumba class, or go in the kitchen and make soup or something.

Acknowledge that you have a right to be angry. Then, be angry, but don’t go over it in your head again and again, don’t stew, don’t build it up, just let yourself be angry – don’t push it away or down or feel guilty about it (I know, not easy). Then, decide that it’s not worth your time or energy or effort to keep being angry. You don’t have to forget or forgive, but you can let it go.

[ SECRET POST #2227 ]

Getting The Fuck Over It?

sa

Re: Getting The Fuck Over It?

Re: Getting The Fuck Over It?

Re: Getting The Fuck Over It?

Re: Getting The Fuck Over It?