[ SECRET POST #2231 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2231 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 086 secrets from Secret Submission Post #319.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Why does it matter to you, though? It's their life, not yours. As long as they're happy, what business is it of yours?

You don't get to dictate someone else's choices.

[visp]

You might not be able to dictate someone's life choices, but that doesn't mean that you won't notice when people make stupid life choices.

[(Anonymous)]

Again, just because you think it's a stupid choice doesn't mean you get carte blanche to make them feel bad about it if they're happy with that choice.

[visp]

Who said anything about "making them feel bad about it?" The original context was being annoyed at a stale plot line. Although, now that you being it up, "being happy" is a rather subjective concept, especially when you take "happy now" vs. "happy in the long run" into consideration, not to mention "effect on the people around him/her." I mean, isn't that what interventions are all about? Not to mention just honestly telling the people close to you that you're worried about some of their behavior.

[(Anonymous)]

The anon I was replying to:

I would also want to make them feel bad about it if they were sharing their bank account information or going to the movies or having a book club with those people.

Again, who they're sleeping with and how many does not affect you. At all. If it does? You are the one with the problem.

Intervention is extremely overrated, IMO, and more about satisfying the need to control others rather than preserving someone's well-being. If they want to run their life into the ground, but they're happy doing it? Let them have at it as long as it's not directly harming someone else.

[visp]

*shrug* The bank account sharing, etc. would affect a friend less than the promiscuity, and the same rule applies. At the end of the day, it's a difference of opinion and lifestyle. You feel that friends shouldn't interfere or make their opinions known, and other people do.

[(Anonymous)]

The bank account sharing, etc. would affect a friend less than the promiscuity

No. Neither your sex life nor your bank account are your friend's business.

[visp]

Dude... friends - real friends, know you and care about you and help you out when you're down and tell you when you're fucking up. You seriously wouldn't tell a friend they shouldn't believe that Nigerian prince they met over email?

[(Anonymous)]

I think if they're dumb enough to still fall for something that obvious despite the avalanche of information out there, let 'em go. Friends should not be a substitute for common fucking sense.

But I've lost way too many friendships over giving good advice before that said former friends didn't want to listen to and were too proud to admit I was right, so if one of my friends is that hellbent on ruining their life, fine. Let 'em go. Just spare me the drama on your way to the shitter.

[(Anonymous)]

If they want to run their life into the ground, but they're happy doing it? Let them have at it as long as it's not directly harming someone else.

The problem is, a lot of times people who run their lives directly into the ground do a huge amount of collateral damage along the way. Personal experience talking here, unfortunately.

[(Anonymous)]

How, exactly? Unless they're your parent or your spouse, I don't see how it affects you.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, that depends. How closely am I tied to them? Do I care about their welfare, security, and general well-being? Am I expected to trust them with anything of mine? If the person has absolutely nothing to do with me, then it's none of my business and they'd never hear what I think anyway -- but if you ask me to evaluate the behavior, I will evaluate it according to the standards I know. If someone I care about is going out to the movies with a violent untrustworthy creep, I'm going to be concerned. If my boss is having a book club with a hate group, I'm going to Human Resources. If my spouse is sharing bank account information with individuals purporting to be exiled royalty, I'm going to flip the fuck out.

Some things are really stupid. Being sexual does not make them any less stupid.

[wauwy]

because they are CHARACTERS IN A THING

[diet_poison]

this thank you

People looking at characters and saying "I'm annoyed at ____ for making a dumb personal decision" is a whole different ballgame than doing the same for real people. Unlike real people, characters actually exist for us to enjoy them.

[(Anonymous)]

I think people's judgement of characters, though, says way more about their judgement of real people than they realize.