[ SECRET POST #2236 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2236 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.
[Inda series]


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02.
[Les Miserables and Discworld]

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03.
[Three Kingdoms 2010, Legend of Chu and Han]


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04.



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05.
[DBSK]


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06.
[The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (Shivering Isles)]


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07.


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08.


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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]













09. [SPOILERS for ]

[Umineko no Naku Koro Ni]


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10. [SPOILERS for Supernatural]



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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]














11. [WARNING for rape]



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12. [possible warning for sexual assault (as I'm sure the thread will contain discussion of it)]



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13. [WARNING for abuse]



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14. [WARNING for rape, abuse, etc]



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15. [WARNING for suicide]



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16. [WARNING for eating disorders]



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17. [WARNING for rape/non-con]

[Homestuck]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #319.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

"Weird" qualities you look for in a partner

[(Anonymous)]

This just occurred to me yesterday after reading a few secret threads, and now I'm curious.

I don't know if it's a movie-thing or a Cosmo magazine stereotype, but popular culture seems to think that women (or people in general, although it's usually women in examples) want people with a sense of humor. I don't, and I do in fact look for the opposite.

This isn't because I'm an extremely serious person—I like comedians and jokes/puns/quips as well as the next person—but I'm not dating someone because they make me laugh. I have friends, comedy dvds/shows, or books for that, and so I'd rather not have it in a partner. When I'm dating someone, I want them to take me seriously and treat me with respect, and I want to be able to do the same for them. That's something that's much easier to find in serious people than joke-every-hour types.

So. I find some senses of humor tolerable but most of them off-putting, at least in a FB/boyfriend/date/whatever. What about you, F!S? What's the "weird" quality that you look for?

Re: "Weird" qualities you look for in a partner

[badass_tiger]

Well I certainly wouldn't mind a life partner who doesn't mind making a fool of himself every now and then.

Re: "Weird" qualities you look for in a partner

[littletown]

I think you can respect your partner and be able to make them laugh. It doesn't have to be one or the other. Probably the type of humor you both enjoy is what could cause friction. Like toilet humor is a no-go for me. But of course, different strokes. :D

I'm saying all this because sense of humor is the first thing I look for in a guy lol

Re: "Weird" qualities you look for in a partner

[(Anonymous)]

da

I agree

Re: "Weird" qualities you look for in a partner

[(Anonymous)]

Definately. Making me laugh is a good thing. Not understanding the difference between "playful ribbing" and "pushing people down" is a bad thing. (As is being really negative and mean-spirited all the time and thinking that's the same thing as being witty or snarky.)

Re: "Weird" qualities you look for in a partner

[world_eater]

I agree! I wouldn't want to date someone who thinks the world is their stage and they need to fit a joke in every situation - but I always understood a sense of humor as just that: a sense for when and how to say something to make me laugh (and in reverse when and how not to).

Re: "Weird" qualities you look for in a partner

[ill_omened]

Willing to spend a lot of time apart.

I'd be perfectly happy to be with someone a couple times a week, and spend the rest doing our own thing.

+1

[thinkatory]

And if I wound up living with someone, which would be optimal, they would have to realize that sometimes I'm just going to be on my computer and fucking ignoring them. Straight up.

Re: "Weird" qualities you look for in a partner

[shortysc22]

I think it depends. Like I don't want a stand up comedian, but I do want someone who knows how to laugh at themselves and doesn't take themselves too seriously, because they wouldn't last long in my family. We all mess with each other.

Re: "Weird" qualities you look for in a partner

[(Anonymous)]

Laughing is my favourite thing in the world and I wouldn't enjoy a relationship with someone I can't do that with. So it is important to me that my partner not only has a sense of humour but that it is similar to mine.

Re: "Weird" qualities you look for in a partner

[chardmonster]

HELLO IT IS TIME FOR OUR DATE : |

I RESPECT YOU AND WOULD LIKE TO TALK ABOUT SOME CURRENT EVENTS : |

HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE POPE THING? IT IS VERY SERIOUS AND NOT AMUSING IN ANY CONTEXT. : |

Re: "Weird" qualities you look for in a partner

[(Anonymous)]

Do the people in your life actually find you funny?

Re: "Weird" qualities you look for in a partner

[caecilia]

weird qualities huh

she must be a shapeshifter with a foot fetish who only eats cans

Re: "Weird" qualities you look for in a partner

[(Anonymous)]

I read that as "cats" at first... XD

Re: "Weird" qualities you look for in a partner

[forgottenjester]

For me it's less about if he has a sense of humor or not and more about having the same sense of humor. I don't think humor necessarily cancels out respect either. If it does then he doesn't have the same sense of humor as me and it's a no go. Respect is important.

As for a weird quality I look for? Uh... someone who is able to deal with my preferred form of communication which has finishing each other's sentences, massive tangents and hopping around, fake arguments/insults, fake flirting (with everything and everyone), and serious discussions of laughable topics. This also ties into them being able to tell when I'm being serious or not, which I'm told is a difficult thing to do. Anyway, a lot of people either find this kind of conversing off-putting or annoying. So I tone it down for non-friends. I tone it down a lot. But if I was with someone I wouldn't want to have to be different in that way for them.

Re: "Weird" qualities you look for in a partner

[(Anonymous)]

I think that kind of conversation is fairly standard (to one extent or another) among nerds. Arguably, it's normative.(1) So I wouldn't worry too much, honestly - for a certain kind of person, that kind of discourse is familiar and, at a certain point, becomes fairly practiced and easy. And on a level above that, there's nothing wrong with wanting someone who communicates the same way you do and laughs at the same shit you do.

(1) "Why Be Normal?": Language and identity practices in a community of nerd girls", Bucholtz 1999

Re: "Weird" qualities you look for in a partner

[partialsatyr]

must be gifted in necromancy

Re: "Weird" qualities you look for in a partner

[(Anonymous)]

That could definitely be a dealbreaker.

Re: "Weird" qualities you look for in a partner

[(Anonymous)]

Must, must, must have good stories to tell. Particularly about the time that "I Did This, and This Happened."

Preferably not involving breaking the law (bending is okay), abuse of previous partners/children/pets, or someone's death.

But good 'Me Stories' are a requirement, and preferably, a lot of good 'Me Stories' to tell.

Re: "Weird" qualities you look for in a partner

[grainne_mhaol]

I need somebody who is capable of being deeply sincere once in awhile in a way that is not obnoxious.

It's rather a hard quality for me to describe. I am a deeply cynical person when it comes to talking about feelings. I loathe Profound and Meaningful statements. I don't do emotional dissection. I can't bear hipster earnestness.

BUT that means I'm inclined to make a joke of everything, and sometimes that means downplaying important things. I'm attracted to people who have a talent for acknowledging a beautiful sunset or a wonderful date without triggering my embarrassment.

Basically, I could never love a poet, but I also couldn't love somebody incapable of occasional poetry.

Re: "Weird" qualities you look for in a partner

[(Anonymous)]

Umm... I guess knowledge of the English language? For some reason, I can't really talk about emotions in my native language and need to switch to English for that.

Getting together with somebody who doesn't really understand English would probably lead to difficulties somewhere along the road.

Re: "Weird" qualities you look for in a partner

[(Anonymous)]

I'm same about the sense of humour. I don't mind a gentle or dark sense of humour, and laughing on a first date can be fun, but it is really not that important to me.
Most of all, I want someone who understands that silence is okay - who can sit in silence with me, and does not feel like something needs to be fixed.
I also seek someone who is as socially inept as me, in a way. I want someone who I feel comfortable with on that level, who I don't feel will look down on me for not understanding certain basic life things. I want someone I can learn with, and grow with, on that level.

TL;DR - I seek the qualities of humourlessness, quiteness, and shut-in social ineptness.

Re: "Weird" qualities you look for in a partner

[(Anonymous)]

I don't get where you got this idea that people who like to make jokes are not going to take you seriously. I am constantly cracking jokes but I am also considered the best person to go to when my friends need someone to listen to them, I know when something is to be taken seriously and something is not.

A sense of humor can also be a great thing to have when times are tough, because when everything has gone to shit the only thing that keeps you from giving up is to be able to laugh every once in a while.

If someone has what you consider a bad sense of humor, definitely look out for that, but just remember a serious person doesn't mean they will take YOU seriously.

Re: "Weird" qualities you look for in a partner

[landsealiontamer]

Optimism... it's not really a weird quality I guess, but it seems rather rare these days. I just cannot stand a guy who sees the negative in everything. I'm okay with my friends being pessimistic, but it's just such a turn off when it comes to guys.

oh, question! question!

[(Anonymous)]

is that stereotype (?) that women dig men with cool cars true?

as in, a boring-looking car would be a deal-breaker?

because I always found that weird. I mean, as long as the thing doesn't look like it's about to fall apart or something, is that really so important?

what am I missing here?