fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2236 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2236 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

[Inda series]

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02.

[Les Miserables and Discworld]

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03.

[Three Kingdoms 2010, Legend of Chu and Han]

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04.

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05.

[DBSK]

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06.

[The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (Shivering Isles)]

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07.

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08.

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

09. [SPOILERS for ]

[Umineko no Naku Koro Ni]

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10. [SPOILERS for Supernatural]

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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

11. [WARNING for rape]

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12. [possible warning for sexual assault (as I'm sure the thread will contain discussion of it)]

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13. [WARNING for abuse]

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14. [WARNING for rape, abuse, etc]

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15. [WARNING for suicide]

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16. [WARNING for eating disorders]

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17. [WARNING for rape/non-con]

[Homestuck]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #319.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm really kind of curious about this, for a couple of reasons; mostly that being I can't figure out if I'm the one who's really dim and/or inexperienced, or if all of the other people are.

So I've noticed a recurring theme in a certain fandom's fic that, even if the characters are extremely physically damaged, recovering from that damaged, or so exhausted they can barely function, they still even sex drive, let alone are practicing sex at all.

See, my own experience with sustaining physical damage, being in pain, or being so exhausted even eating is too much effort, I have absolutely zero sex drive. Even explicitly sexual material isn't arousing. I didn't think I was entirely alone, when I heard anecdotes about soldiers going through bootcamp and have no desire to jack off at night.

Now, either my sex drive is really low to begin with, or these fic writers have no idea how the body works when it's trying to recover from physical depletion, and I'm suspicious about which it is.

In some cases I think adrenaline accounts for it? But my experience matches yours and I mostly consider that stuff unrealistic.

OP. When my adrenaline/endorphins set in, it's usually to keep me from throwing up all over the place or passing out, rather than getting me horny.

But I'm glad to know that I don't seem to be alone so far.

I have a chronic pain condition and as a result have almost no libido to speak of.

I also spent some time in the Army and (putting aside the rumors that the food is laced with some sort of temporary chemical castration substance) I can honestly say that BCT was a level of stress and exhaustion that I have never experienced before or since. I've had insomnia since childhood but I didn't have a single night in 9 weeks where I didn't fall asleep within a minute of laying down in my bunk.

I think in most cases this is just fantasy, anon.

Agreed.

I suppose everyone's different so a healthy sex drive while physically injured/extremely exhausted might be possible, but I've always thought that sort of thing was just the author not caring about realism.

I feel you on feeling so tired I'm not horny, but at the same time, if my partner really wanted it I wouldn't refuse. Not because I feel obligated too, but I'm always game for it.

I had chronic pain and illness for a couple years, and it certainly didn't kill my sex drive.

I would imagine they're not putting a huge amount of thought into it, but they're not wrong per se.

It's a continuum and you're at one end, but that doesn't mean there aren't people at the other.

OP. I dunno, man. While I definitely, definitely get that there are people who still have a sex drive while hurt and incapacitated, I'm still guessing there's a biological level where your body would shut that off in favor of survival.

Like if you have broken bones, severe puncture wounds or blunt trauma, stuff like that.

But hey, I would be really interested in knowing if there really are people who maintain a sex drive while having all of that.

I've had everything from kidney stones (the pain of which is considered to be the most painful that either sex can experience--I've heard some women say passing a kidney stone was more painful than childbirth--oh, I'm female too if that matters just never had a kid) to heart surgery for SVT. And, yeah, no sex, no libido, either. It's a crock.

The thing about adrenalin is that you may have some energy when it's there but when it goes, you're exhausted, cranky, and want to sleep.

I just roll my eyes at those fics. I did enjoy this Clint/Tony segment in a fic where Tony did start giving Clint a handjob in order to counteract some of the pain Clint was in while they were waiting on pick up and medical aid for Clint. Sex does give some pain relief since it releases endorphins like a runner's high.

i dealt with chronic exhaustion for a year or so, and my sex drive was more or less completely absent.
for me, when there's something like pain, exhaustion, or anxiety at the forefront of my mind, the desire to fuck something really does not come into play

i have a feeling those who use stuff like this as a literary device either are not aware that it's a very nonerotic state of mind or straight up dont give a shit that it might not be realistic

Omg that's a Legion icon! :D

and you are officially the first person to recognize it as such (or at least the first to say anything) :D

fanfiction sex is unrealistic???

my mind is blown

Don't worry anon, it's fantasy (and kind of weird fantasy at that). There was a particular fic I read in which one character was not only in increasing physical pain, but was also becoming increasingly exhausted - functioning on 2 hours sleep a night and barely eating - so much so that the descriptions of how he was feeling were making me feel kind of awful and nauseous. And yet, he kept on having sex with character B, night after night. It was like, 'character A is too tired to stand for long periods of time - but not too tired for vigorous buttsex all night long!'. It was basically awful to read and put me off that pairing for a while.

In conclusion, while there are certainly gradients feeling under the weather and still having a strong sex drive, if a character is so worn out their body is actually not functioning properly, likelihood is they'd also be too tired for sex. Because, you know, your body would be worrying about other things at that moment, like surviving the day. And if sex occurs, likelihood is the author is not the best writer.

HA, yeah. If i'm passing-out tired, or in pain, you can take your sexual come-ons and shove 'em. That'll be a big no-go. I dislike fic like that, because it just irritates me beyond belief.

Character A, one hour out of surgery - 'I'm so horny!!'
Character B, no sleep or food for 49 hours - 'Me, too!!'

*gets it on on hospital bed*

Yeah, no.

I imagine it's often a result of authors going for a hurt/comfort situation, but going a little overboard on the hurt and then rushing into the sex without sufficient recovery time.

[ SECRET POST #2236 ]

Pain, exhaustion, and sex.

Re: Pain, exhaustion, and sex.

Re: Pain, exhaustion, and sex.

Re: Pain, exhaustion, and sex.

Re: Pain, exhaustion, and sex.

Re: Pain, exhaustion, and sex.

Re: Pain, exhaustion, and sex.

Re: Pain, exhaustion, and sex.

Re: Pain, exhaustion, and sex.

Re: Pain, exhaustion, and sex.

Re: Pain, exhaustion, and sex.

Re: Pain, exhaustion, and sex.

Re: Pain, exhaustion, and sex.

Re: Pain, exhaustion, and sex.

Re: Pain, exhaustion, and sex.

tl;dr for your pleasure

Re: Pain, exhaustion, and sex.

Re: Pain, exhaustion, and sex.