fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2237 ]

[ SECRET POST #2237 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2237 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 113 secrets from Secret Submission Post #319.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
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Last night you had an anon talking about how they felt a broken background encouraged them into choosing a dangerous career, and it set me to wondering?

Decent people. A little distant, maybe. They argued a heck of a lot when I was a kid, but they've toned that down a lot. Mellowed with age, as it were. My mom is a pretty normal type of person; she's the one who mostly worked and was a professional, as it were. My dad is a bit of an odd guy, just has very strange, particular opinions about things. He was a lecturer at community colleges and stuff when I was younger, now he's basically retired. He can be very strange and ornery and moody and emotional and difficult to get along with sometimes, but I basically like him when he's not being difficult.

I don't know. They are who they are.

Mine are pretty cool. My mom's practically my best friend, and me and my dad have a lot common when it comes to taste (humour, music, TV).

They were kind of strict when I was growing up - had set bedtimes until I was 16, still have a set time when my internet must be switched off (I still live with them), got smacked when I did something especially bad, got grounded. But nothing horrible or what could be called bad.

I'm lucky, as I've always gotten along with them.

My mom was a controlling, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, sexist, racist with anger issues and a destructive need to be seen as wealthy.
My dad was quiet and depressed.

My brother fled across the country as soon as he graduated high school, and I followed suit at a more confusing pace (after getting kicked out once, nagged out a second time, and refused a place to stay the third). My dad nearly committed suicide, got help for his depression, and got away from my mom as soon as he realized how toxic she was. I'm excommunicated from my mom and only talk to my dad because he's helping with my student loans.

Hm.

Well, explaining my family would take about four reams of paper and a graphing calculator, but I'll try to distill it as easily as I can.

My parents have had an off-again, on-again relationship for as long as I can remember. My mother... well, let's just say that for a long time she wasn't the most... reliable person ever. I have several half-siblings, all from her. When I was fifteen years old, something happened, I'm not exactly sure what though, and she came back and stayed with my dad from there on out. It hasn't really been easy, though- since this thread isn't about siblings, though, I won't get into that.

I do love her, but I can only put up with her for so long before I want to start tearing my hair out. There's a reason I've always gotten along so much better with my step-grandmother than I have with her. For most of my formative years, my Halmuhnee was the one who I went to with my problems, not my mom. Now that she's actually taking responsibility for her actions, rather than trying to push them off onto anyone who happens to be nearby, though, I get along a lot better with my mom.

My dad is a pretty normal guy though. Nothing too out of the ordinary about him, except that it does kind of astound me that he never divorced my mom.

I was raised by single father. He raised my 5 siblings himself. 4 girls and 1 boy. He has a 9th grade education and has been in jail twice and prison once (this was all before we were born).

My oldest sister is a stay at home mom, my second eldest has a successful job, I graduated from college with a Bachelors in SpEd, my little sister is in her last year of college, and my little brother is about the graduate high school.

He can sew, do hair, and isn't afraid to buy tampons. He is really scary looking (he was a biker), until you hand him a baby and listen to him talk to it.

this is my favourite post of the day :)

Re: What were your parents like?

(Anonymous) - 2013-02-16 23:26 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What were your parents like?

(Anonymous) - 2013-02-16 23:27 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What were your parents like?

dreemyweird - 2013-02-17 00:35 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What were your parents like?

kaijinscendre - 2013-02-17 00:41 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What were your parents like?

n7of9 - 2013-02-17 00:47 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What were your parents like?

kaijinscendre - 2013-02-17 00:53 (UTC) - Expand

I'm the OP of that thread.

My parents are.... hard people. Not deliberately mean or abusive, but very fucking hard. The type to be angry or frustrated at you when you're physically hurt, because that's the only way their worry and fear about their child can come out.

I can't remember the amount of times I've been nearly killed, only to have my parents scream at me for having been in that position. Or reprimand me for being there in the first place.

But it's the way they learned to survive, and keep me alive. My family has a history of very degrading, heavy manual labor that ends up with a lot of injuries. And in spite of being injured, you just have to keep working.

But I gotta say, it is fucking frightening being hurt, even badly hurt wanting to stop, but knowing you can't. You gotta keep going.

I learned that from my parents.

Re: What were your parents like?

ill_omened - 2013-02-16 23:31 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What were your parents like?

(Anonymous) - 2013-02-16 23:45 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What were your parents like?

(Anonymous) - 2013-02-16 23:55 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What were your parents like?

(Anonymous) - 2013-02-17 00:11 (UTC) - Expand

i consider my parents 2 of the best and most loving people i've ever met, and i honestly respect and LIKE them as individuals

Children I had an absolutely hellish time trying to raise. And even after all the time, effort, and wasted words I put into it, neither one of them turned out to be even somewhat decent people.

They are good. Yeah, there were/are problems (That I'm not going to talk about.) but no family is perfect. They're opposites, which probably helped lead to their divorce. Also, they never agree on anything. I'm adopted but that never mattered in my family. They actually handled that the best, I think. Living in my family has caused me to be very aware of power dynamics, but not in a bad way? Mmm, they respect me. I respect them. There's love. I'm happy.

Edited 2013-02-16 23:18 (UTC)

Obviously far too complicated to sum up in a few paragraphs, but as parents go, I was almost certainly very lucky.

Both had pretty rough backgrounds themselves.

Father lived in germany until he was about seven, when my grandparents moved to england, and lived in a shitty racist area growing up in a council house. They'd originally been really wealthy until the war, at which point things which they were peripherally involved in caused them to lose pretty much everything (to give an indication my surname is actually the area they originally lived in plus+leader).

Mother grew up middleclass, but with family being very politically involved in the troubles to the point getting kidnapped was a real worry, and their were assassinations attempts on my grandfather. On top of that she was heavily involved in the LGBT scene in Northern Ireland, which was, to say the least, deeply homophobic.

Both were successful workaholics - which was their greatest flaw, and probably contributed a lot to making me who I am today, but they never failed to provide for me, were never angry or punished me without reason, and they gave me a huge amount of freedom.

As long as I could get the grades, and I didn't do anything really stupid I could do what I wanted. Except that would be the main point of contention - I couldn't, as I had undiagnosed learning difficulties for years which led to more then a few arguments, and hurt my confidence. Apart from that, they were always supportive though.

Oh and they've always seemed to me as subversive, and highly literate. Grew up surrounded by books which led to a love of literature, and never felt the pressure to conform to any set norms.

Where to start?

My mother is Paranoid Schizophrenic, with at times alcohol and/or drug problems. She is currently in jail.

My father is just distant both emotionally and he is a long distance truck driver so he was never home when I grew up.

My step mother is the classical "evil step mum" from fairy tales, she grounded me once for being one and a half minute late home.

My first foster mother was insane as in "thought her dead cat lived in the basement" insane...

My second set of foster parents where pretty okay, but they where in their 60s (same age as my grandparents) which made them a bit disconnected from my generation.

I think I got them all...

Passive aggressive and fiscally irresponsible.
I'm being extremely short and they're not worst parents ever or anything, but it wasn't fun growing up with them always fighting and separating, but never divorcing.

My mother is obsessed with wealth and appearances. Her vanity is so great that if someone has crooked teeth she won't have anything to do with them. What she says she wants for her kids is not the same as what she really wants. She's big on saying things like "I only want you to be happy," but when I got married and my wedding plans didn't match what she wanted my wedding to be it was the end of the world as far as she was concerned.

My dad genuinely only wants his loved ones to be happy. He doesn't deny any of us anything (materialistically or otherwise) and is the most supportive person I've ever known. He will tell me when I'm making a mistake but something isn't a mistake just because it isn't something he wants me to do. He's told me that it's okay I didn't grow up to be who my mother wanted me to be and he didn't criticize my house for being too small when they came to visit like my mother did. Instead he paid attention to how sound the structure is and then complimented me on how it was decorated. Then he grabbed the basketball out of the basket by the back door and we shot hoops until it was too dark.

tl;dr My mother wanted living dolls instead of children and my dad wanted his kids to grow up to be happy and healthy. She is evil incarnate and he is a prince among men.

I grew up fairly sheltered. My family was and still is close, outside friends weren't that important for my parents, especially for my father.

My mother is the kind of person who tends to worry but did her best to let us gather our own experiences all the same. She also has a pretty strong sense of justice, sometimes at the cost of humour.

My father is a bit unconventional and has a slightly trollish streak. He doesn't really care much what others think which can sometimes alienate people.

Of course neither of them is perfect, but I think I drew a pretty good lot with them as my parents.

My dad's dad beat the living hell out everyone in the family, and my dad vowed to never, ever do that. And he never did.

My mother's mom was a very uptight German woman and never once said 'i love you' to my mom or anyone else. My mother has never let a day go by without telling us that she loves us.

I have always loved my parents, been proud of them, enjoyed their company, and after nearly six years, still miss my dad every single day. I have the most fun talking and hanging out with my mom, and wish life would work out so she could come live with us, instead of going to far-away North Carolina to live with my sister.

I think I can either write two sentences or an essay. So we'll go with two: my parents are wonderful, intelligent people with perspectives I highly value, even if our interests don't intersect all that much. There are very few things I would change about the way they raised me, and I would certainly change nothing about my dad's sense of humor.

...Not great. My mother's a control freak, very very religious (and none of her kids are--except me but I'm Wiccan and she's Catholic so I don't count), and for the longest time knew she should be on medication but refused to take it. My father's basically spineless and goes by her word on pretty much everything, except he's been getting better lately to the point where I don't mind talking to him sometimes. They're divorced but they say 'separated' and they don't date other people and most of the time act like they're still married but live separately. (I have a feeling this is because my mother does not want to admit being divorced. I have never heard her call it a divorce. Then again, I do not talk to her anymore.)

Of course, I'm a bitter middle child who never got along with his parents and got kicked out when my mother found out I was gay, so, y'know, I might be somewhat jaded.

My mom married my dad after knowing him for only a few months. They moved in together almost immediately and I think they were the weed supply for the entire University of Monticello campus and surrounding area at the time (early seventies). My mom was depressed I think, she was prescribed lithium at a time when nobody was on it and reading her journals she seemed like she was contemplating suicide, she must have been in a weird place, marrying my dad so randomly (and they are still married after all these years). She was in the theatre department and eventually went on to get her Master's in technical theatre or whatever they called it at University of North Carolina later, apparently she just got up and left my dad for a year or so to do it because he didn't want to leave Arkansas. My dad seemed like a fun dude who liked to party and he was listening to a lot of great soul music until my mom came along and ruined his musical taste with her horrible mainstream Southern rock. At least he kept some of those records (Tower of Power's "You Ought to be Having Fun" was one of my favorite songs growing up)

I'm rambling

Re: What were your parents like?

childings.livejournal.com - 2013-02-17 01:46 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What were your parents like?

(Anonymous) - 2013-02-17 02:23 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What were your parents like?

(Anonymous) - 2013-02-17 03:40 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What were your parents like?

childings.livejournal.com - 2013-02-17 18:45 (UTC) - Expand

I could either write an esaay or a short sentence about my parents, but I will only say this: I will never trade them for anyone else, even with all their flaws.

My parents separated when I was 5 and neither of them have been in a serious relationship since. My mom went back to high school when I was born and was in university most of my childhood (she has a PhD now!). My dad struggles with addiction and anxiety and was mostly unemployed. I love my parents a lot. They're kind, analytical, wry, and intelligent people who struggle in a lot of the same ways I struggle. They don't have homes I can live in or savings they can help me with, but I know they'll always support me.

I don't want to go through making inane comments on everyone's stories, but I read all of them and I appreciate everyone sharing :)

my mom is a good person but spiritually pretty stagnant, conflicts with everyone in my family but she has a good heart and she tries and i love her dearly. my dad passed away a few years ago, he was a stoic bastard who had admirable values but no love in his heart. i was always sad because he was never the father i needed, but he was a pretty good person in other ways.

Momma and Daddy met at a protest. He was a Democrat protesting the Republicans, she was the secretary of the Young Republicans, who were protesting the Democrats. He had a book she wanted to read so she went up to him and started talking.

He joined the Navy after college. They lived in a shoebox for a while. After a few years he got accepted into Officer Candidate School. He was nurse in the Navy and he gave it 22 years of his life. It provided for his family and let him save money for a secure retirement. Grandpa lived through the Great Depression and it scarred him for life. That was passed on to Daddy, who wore hand-me downs until he was in college. Daddy has always placed a great deal of importance on education and work and he chose a job that let him take care of us. He doesn't have much patience for whining and he doesn't realize that not everyone is as strong as he is (he's a beefy guy and I'm a skinny li'l lady. We ain't gonna bench press the same weight). When he and Momma got married he threw out all her miniskirts. I sometimes troll him by wearing a short dress. He is definitely the parent I take after the most.

Momma was a parochial school teacher. She worked as long as Daddy did, although she took time off when my brother and I came along. She had a few breakdowns. She loves her family, country, Jesus, and Dr. Pepper. She prays for her son although he's estranged and has a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. For some strange reason she thinks I'm a lesbian (I've been out on two dates in the space of five days. Both with guys she knows). When I joined the military she fretted until my enlistment was up. She's always loving but she's not always 'there', if that makes sense. She's a member of the Red Hats.

There. More than you wanted to know about my family.

My parents met at a bar where my dad was playing a gig. My mom was a party girl who had recently graduated from college after six years with a bachelor's in accounting; my dad had dropped out of college and was living entirely off of money that he and his band made from his gigs. Both of them were a little broken and had just gotten out of bad relationships. They were engaged within four months and somehow they've been married for 22 years. And now my mom is a professor with a Masters degree in Tax and my dad is also a professor finishing up his PhD in Ecology/Evolutionary Biology and instead of living in New Jersey they live in North Dakota, so yeah over the years they've changed a lot :)

Growing up, my life was always changing, really. We've moved a lot (although we've been in the same place for nearly ten years) and my dad has been in and out of school for almost the entire time my parents have been married. It's weird to me that people don't view the woman of the house as the person who makes the money and the decisions, because that's how I grew up my entire life. My mother is domineering and controlling and quick to jump to conclusions and she used to be angry a lot before she went on medication, but she's also always loved her children fiercely and she is one of my best friends. And her work ethic and enthusiasm for change has definitely left an impact on me.

My inner personality is a lot like my mom's, but my outward expression is much more like my dad's. Except for when he's really angry (like recently when he and my brother have been fighting ugh) he's a pretty easygoing, softspoken guy. He has a weird sense of humor, and he's friends with everyone. He really likes the outdoors, and he loves music. Some of my fondest childhood memories are with him and his guitar. For the past six years though he hasn't been around much. Not because he and my mom have been fighting or anything (if anything it has made their marriage stronger) but because his school that he went to to get his PhD was four hours away from us, and now his job is closer, only an hour away from my hometown, but it's still far.

I feel kinda sad for my brother, really, cuz he and my dad have this big disconnect where he doesn't really respect my dad's authority because he's not home, but whatever. Life goes on.

I love them, and they love me.

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