Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2013-02-17 03:55 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2013-02-17 03:55 pm
[ SECRET POST #2238 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2238 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 097 secrets from Secret Submission Post #320.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Re: Today is my birthday...
On to the jokes. You wanted bad ones, right?
Two pink cows are sitting in a tree. Beneath them, a dog skateboards past the tree. One of the cows shakes her head and says, "The things you see today."
A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks, "Why the long face?"
There's a bar on top of a really, really high building and it's very windy outside, so it is swaying back and forth.
A guy walks into the bar and has some drinks and is there for a few hours.
Another guy comes and sits next to him.
The first guy who has been there for a while looks at the man and says to him, "You know that there is a nice breeze outside and if you jump out it will blow you right back in."
The second guy doesn't agree and tells him to prove it. So, the first guy jumps out the window and comes soaring right back in.
The second guy asks him to do it one more time. So, the first guy jumps out and the nice breeze takes him right back into the bar.
At this time the second guy is starting to believe him and decides he needs to try this. He then jumps out and falls down to his death.
The bartender turns to the first guy and says, "Superman, your an asshole when your drunk!" Copied from here because I couldn't quite remember how the joke went.
Two friends die at the same time and go to heaven. At the gates St. Peter warns them, "You can do whatever you want in heaven, but NEVER EVER step on a pink cloud!"
The two guys nod and enter heaven and after a while they come across a huge tree. The friends agree to split up for awhile and explore heaven on their own and to meet up in a year again by this very tree.
After a year the two friends meet up again, but one of them has a hideous, ugly old woman at his side, with thick warts on her long nose, wrinkles as deep as canyons, and half her teeth missing.
The other guy asks, horrified: "Who is that? Why is she following you around?"
The first friend replies with a grimace, "I stepped on a pink cloud."
The two friends talk for a while, but decide to split up again for a year. When they meet up again the other guy has a beautiful, refined looking woman at his side with a smile as bright as the sun.
The first guy asks in awe, "Whatever did you do to deserve this?"
To which the woman replies with a grimace, "I stepped on a pink cloud."
EDIT: One more!
How can you tell that there was an elephant in the fridge? By the footprints in the cheesecake!