fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2238 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2238 ⌋

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Last week there was a thread that's really stuck in my mind, about how some people get pissed off when someone tells them "I'll pray for you," and comisserating about how angry they were.

This utterly baffles me. I have no idea what might be offensive about praying or telling someone you're praying for them. Is there something I've missed? Is it because of bad personal experiences or stuff? Can anyone please explain this to me, I'm interested to know more.

I'm not offended by it, but I can see how it could feel patronizing or using another person's struggles to show off your piety.

Well I hate it in general but when someone already knows I'm an atheist. It sounds exactly like a smugly delivered "LOL, fuck you silly billy!"

Even from one religions person to another it strikes me as weird because it sounds like the speaker wants bonus points for the barest attempt at being kind. Or just one of those polite small talk things people say but don't mean.

And kind of weird. Like, the speaker has a closer relationship to God so they'll pass on the other person's need so God will know to get on that problem quicker or something.

not op

I think the idea is that the person is trying to tell you that they will keep you in their thoughts, but, there are probably less patronizing ways to get that across, yeah.

I mean, if the "praying" part is what is important, then just pray. The other person doesn't need to know you're praying for them, right? Just that they are in your thoughts and you hope things get better for them.

Well I can't say for other religions, but in Islam I've always encountered it as a way to say 'You'll be in my thoughts' because we don't say that.

But if you have a problem that the person can help and all they say is 'I'll pray for you', hate them, I say. Those people are jackasses.

da

"You're in my thoughts" sounds way better than "i'll pray for you"

The first one implies the person gives a shit and will be thinking of you.
The latter one sounds like they're washing their hands of you (in a job way. They'll pray later, while the first on they're thinking of you now)

Speaking as a religious person, when people pray for me, it's like they're doing a service. I guess it might not seem like much to a non-religious person (and I def wouldn't say it to an atheist, honestly, that's just rude), but to me, it's something. And if someone is praying for you, then they're certainly thinking of you too, aren't they?

Well, everyone I know knows I don't believe in God, so yes I'll be a bit annoyed/offended at people saying they'll pray for me. What a delightfully empty gesture that is.

I'd much prefer it if they would take a couple of minutes out of their time to offer their sympathies or a simple "hey how are you going there?" or even "that sucks man" rather than a recited script about how they're going to ask a nonexistant person to fix me - if they even will do that.

I'll get even angrier at people who claim that their prayers over a disaster are helping. NO. Donate money or raise awareness or something but you praying does shit all since it's money, volunteers and awareness raising that fix things. Not a prayer group. That's just there to make you feel good about doing nothing

tl;dr it's an empty word that makes the speaker of it feel like they did something

...this anon didn't see the thread last week or would have joined in

I get why people could get offended.

Though personally I don't care, I just assume it is that persons way of telling me they will think about me and if it is because something bad happened/happens in my life and they just want to help me get the support of God.

It does not happen often to me though, I live in a really non-religious country, and if you are religious you keep it to yourself.

Well in my personal community, quite often it's offered as a solution. So it's not like "I'll keep you in my thoughts" so much as "you should stop worrying, silly,because I can do magic!"

It's also often very embarrassing. When you succeed at something or something difficult is resolved and a well-meaning family member swoops in triumphant to explain that they lit a candle and just look how it all turned out well! - what are you meant to do with that? It derails all non-god-related discussion of the topic and leaves you floundering for something to say while the speaker waits expectantly for you to agree with their assertion to further bolster their beliefs.

Sometimes people offer prayer in response to finding out aspects of your identity, and that's pretty gross. If you're praying for me because you're just the kind of person who does that, fine, but if you suddenly want to pray on my behalf because someone told you I'm trans, fuck you.

If I'm going through a bad time and people tell me they'll pray for me, I'm... annoyed but not really offended. That's how some people express concern, it's what makes them feel like they're doing something to help when there probably isn't anything they can do, it doesn't do me any good but it doesn't hurt either, so whatever. It's not worth arguing about. I feel a little bad about not being able to respond appropriately when people ask for others' prayers, but I'm comfortable saying good vibes, even though I don't believe in that, either.

On the other hand, if someone is praying for me to change my opinion or behavior to make it more like their opinion or behavior, then fuck them.

It kind of depends on the context? I'm not religious but if someone says they'll pray for me in a way that's coming from a place of genuine concern, I don't really have a problem with it, because I think of it as the same thing as when I tell someone that I'm keeping them in my thoughts. It's the passive-aggressive "your beliefs/opinions are WRONG but instead of actually talking to you like an adult I'm just going to pray that God changes your mind" version that I have a big fat problem with.

I don't know about anyone else but in my personal experience, people usually say that to me when I do something they really don't like. And it's usually something that non-Christians consider normal, I don't know, like having pre-marital sex or something. So in a way I consider it the Christian way of saying "fuck you" or "I don't approve of your lifestyle" which is just rude

[ SECRET POST #2238 ]

"It offends me when people say they'll pray for me"

Re: "It offends me when people say they'll pray for me"

Re: "It offends me when people say they'll pray for me"

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Re: "It offends me when people say they'll pray for me"

Re: "It offends me when people say they'll pray for me"

Re: "It offends me when people say they'll pray for me"

Re: "It offends me when people say they'll pray for me"

Re: "It offends me when people say they'll pray for me"

Re: "It offends me when people say they'll pray for me"

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Re: "It offends me when people say they'll pray for me"

Re: "It offends me when people say they'll pray for me"

Re: "It offends me when people say they'll pray for me"