[ SECRET POST #2240 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2240 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 060 secrets from Secret Submission Post #320.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 4 - trolls that were a little too obvious; come on, at least don't capitalize the same word in every secret. The others can slide by!].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I had to stop reading the other comments because it really just seemed like people don't understand. I do. I let it get so bad that it chased me out of fandom. I deleted all of my accounts everywhere because it was the only way to escape people dumping all of their problems on me. It is very easy to say "Don't let it get to you. Back off a bit. Tell your friends to back off." It is very difficult to do. In some cases it's even impossible. And it sucks. It sucks even more when you get up the nerve to do it, tell someone to back off or even just back off a bit yourself, and then find yourself the target of abuse because you don't have those problems. And if some of those problems are emotion instability, the abuse can get very scary. Your so-called fandom friend can turn everyone else against you. It can spill out of the fandom and over to other parts of your life if you've let anyone from fandom in through twitter or facebook or anything even more personal, like your phone number. I don't have a solution. I don't know that I ever will. But I do understand where you're coming from because I've been there. And I will never put myself in that situation ever again.

[(Anonymous)]

that really really really sucks O__O

those people were bullies and I'm glad you cut them out of your life

when establishing boundaries doesn't work, it's time to sever, so you did the right thing, anon

(also this is gonna sound mean, but consider not sharing your twitter/facebook/phone number/real life info with people on the internet, or make different accounts just for online, especially with people that make you feel like you have to have their same problems or you're not "one of us, one of us". seriously, that's like a red sign of a terrible cliché high school movie)

[fuchsiascreams]

That really sucks. I don't really get the sense that the other commenters don't really understand, though. I've never been bullied or harassed over it like you have, but I ended up in a similar situation once with a friend of mine who had emotional issues and would constantly dump her problems on me (even though I had emotional issues, too, which she knew about; she just didn't care). I didn't really mind because I knew what she was like when we started talking, although it did get annoying after a while. The final straw was when my best friend committed suicide last March and she told me to stop whining about it and told me that I shouldn't care, and then two days later came to me crying about how her boyfriend was sick in the hospital after a drug overdose. I couldn't stand it anymore and it took that extreme amount of obvious relationship imbalance for me to finally tell her to gtfo. Luckily most of the people we knew were aware of her tendency to exaggerate, so I didn't end up getting bullied or anything like that, but I can at least relate to the first part, if I can't relate to the being run out of your fandom part.

Owie :(

[nyxelestia]

This is perhaps one of the biggest problems with the "just don't let it get to you" mantra. Sometimes it's easy, but other times it can be nearly impossible to avoid. It's largely the reason I've been hesitant to get particularly close to fandom for the last several years.

[(Anonymous)]

I was in a fandom a couple years ago where people weren't necessarily dumping everything onto me, but we were all friended to each other's journals and so many posted about their problems so frequently that it sort of felt that way. I had the distinct impression that they were actually trying to one up each other. Literally every BNF had some major diagnosis in addition to at least two extreme dramas in their lives. It ruined that fandom for me and I know it did for a few others, too. If anyone unfriended one of those people, they were blacklisted everywhere. I could almost sort of understand this in a fandom like Harry Potter or any other fandom that has a large mix of teens and adults. But this fandom was mostly people over the age of 30 and the few teens we had never got involved in that sort of thing or tried to pull any wank of any kind. It was total madness.

[(Anonymous)]

nayrt

This wasn't for a medical show by any chance was it?

[(Anonymous)]

Just what I was wondering. I have a specific show in mind but it could also be that med dramas tend to attract that kind of thing.

[(Anonymous)]

See, this is my problem. I never want to let anyone in close enough that they can expect to share their problems with me, because what if I don't want to share their problems, and then they get mad at me. So I just don't get that close to begin with, and I have no one to share my problems with except shouting them anonymously into the void.