[ SECRET POST #2240 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2240 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 060 secrets from Secret Submission Post #320.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 4 - trolls that were a little too obvious; come on, at least don't capitalize the same word in every secret. The others can slide by!].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[likeadeuce]

Nothing in the secret suggests to me that the people OP is talking about are self-diagnosing or don't have legitimate problems....

[(Anonymous)]

Trouble is that when there's that many people who have terrible debilitating issues that need constant maintenance, it's a fair bet that there's a degree of delusion at play.

[likeadeuce]

Wow, there really are a lot of assholes on this thread.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

What I was trying to say (poorly, apparently) is that the "hive mind" of fandom can extend to the sort of issues that OP is talking about. There are people who are attracted to the perceived "excitement" of having problems and the attention that they can gain by having them.

Along another vein, there are people who legitimately have problems but who, rather than attempt to solve them/get the professional help that they sorely need, attach themselves to a few friends or to a community that perpetuates said problems.

Both situations are very unhealthy.

[otakugal15]

Um, not really. I have like, two friends that legit have issues and I listen to them and support them, but the others I know of, especially only fandom friends? There's too many that it's either coincidence or they're blowing things out of proportion for attention.

Which is why I usually just skip past their self-depreciating posts all the time because, more times than not, I just don't believe it.

[(Anonymous)]

And then there is naive, credulous little you.

[likeadeuce]

Have already been through several cycles of this, sorry you were late, thanks for playing!

[(Anonymous)]

Right. Because there isn't a higher concentration of people with debilitating issues on the internet than, say, at your school or workplace. For a lot of us, this is the ONLY way we have to reach out beyond the walls of our homes, the ONLY way to meet people we aren't related to.

[(Anonymous)]

SA
That isn't to say it's OK for anyone to dump all of their stuff on their friends or family. Of course you should engage with them about your issues, but it's never right to make personal relationships all about one person. Basically: don't be a leech.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

That's the sort of thing that I'm talking about, though, and that flags it for me. So, let me rephrase: when there's a high concentration of leeches it's safe to say that there's a degree of delusion at play.

[(Anonymous)]

NA

I would not say that. In my experience people with "real", verified problems are equally likely to be a huge sucking hole of misery drawing in all around them.

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

It isn't safe to say that at all. Non delusional people are perfectly capable of being leeches. Getting mired in self pity or engaging in extreme attention seeking are not synonymous with delusion, not of any degree. Of course it's possible. Is it more likely than in people who don't engage in those behaviors? No.

[(Anonymous)]

"should engage with them"? Really?

There is no should. It's amazing if people decide to do it, but nobody is ever fucking obligated.

[dazzledfirestar]

But here's the thing, even with legitimate problems, if all your doing in a friendship is taking support and energy and all that from your friend and not giving back... then, problems or not, you're not being a good friend. There's a limit to how much a single person can give and if you keep pushing someone to that limit, happy or not, it's going to have a negative effect.

[likeadeuce]

Agreed, which is why I don't understand the number of people who are jumping to the conclusion that OP could only be talking about self-diagnosing fakers who are faking their problems. OP's need to draw boundaries with their friends is completely unrelated to whether the friends have real problems.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes! This.

[othellia]

Wonderfully said.

[likeadeuce]

Thanks, I should have just left it at this in the first place.

[(Anonymous)]

You are being a star in this thread. <3