case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2013-02-20 06:47 pm

[ SECRET POST #2241 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2241 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 042 secrets from Secret Submission Post #320.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 (minorly sexual, illustrated) - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: "It offends me when people say they'll pray for me" (redux)

(Anonymous) 2013-02-21 01:00 am (UTC)(link)
It depends on the situation and the person saying it and I generally don't get angry about it, but I often feel that people who say "I'll pray for you" are hoping to appear useful in a situation in which they have no actual, constructive advice or ability to assist. I give them a pass, because they mean well, but it's unfortunate that they think they might be judged for admitting that they have no idea how to fix the problem or that it may be unfixable.

Sometimes what people really need is just sympathy - someone to say "That sucks and I'm sorry," a shoulder to cry on, or a person to vent to. I recognize that not everyone is equally good at showing sympathy - goodness knows Being sympathetic usually means a lot more to a suffering individual than an impersonal offer to pray because it demonstrates that you are seriously acknowledging that suffering rather than washing your hands of the problem and continuing on your way, unbothered.

In the worst cases, it feels like they're saying "I don't really give a shit, but saying this makes me look like a nice person and it's not like you'll ever be able to prove whether I prayed for you or not." This is similar to the idea someone brought up yesterday of people using another person's tragedy to call attention to their own piousness, which I think is also at play here.

Re: "It offends me when people say they'll pray for me" (redux)

(Anonymous) 2013-02-21 01:19 am (UTC)(link)
You said it better than I ever could.

It really does depend on the person for me. I'm generally distrustful of religion and deferring sentiment to it, but there are a few people who I know are genuine about their care.

Re: "It offends me when people say they'll pray for me" (redux)

(Anonymous) 2013-02-21 01:25 am (UTC)(link)
SA

*goodness knows I haven't always been than skilled at it.

(No idea how that got clipped out of there.)