fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2242 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2242 ⌋

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I proudly claim to be a feminist. This is kind of a secret thing, because I know my brother and sister, and probably some friends, would tease me and bring it up all the time to make fun of me and my claim of feminism if they knew.

I probably do have internalized misogyny because I think pretty much all women who grow up in a society on planet Earth do, but I don't think they will get it.

There are so many things wrong with this comment I don't even know where to begin...

OP

Can you please explain what's wrong to me? I'd appreciate it. I don't mind being told I'm wrong, but I'd like people to tell me what I did wrong.

Maybe I just wrote unclearly? I meant that I'm a feminist and I always claim to be one openly, but if I admitted this secret to my friends they'd make fun of me and take it as proof that I'm not really a feminist.

If someone gets on your case, try and convince them to read this:

http://tomatonation.com/culture-and-criticism/yes-you-are/

Everyone should do so anyway.

But on the flip side, it's also not wrong to get something off your chest anonymously because you don't feel like taking shit over it. After all, that's why f!s exists :)

I probably do have internalized misogyny because I think pretty much all women who grow up in a society on planet Earth do, but I don't think they will get it.

Yeah...that's hugely assumptive and rude. Way to make grand, offensive generalizations about the whole planet and human population.

OP

I'm sorry? I just can't see how a girl can possibly be brought up without a little conditioning leaking into her head when it's pretty much all over the place. Unless she lives in a bubble all her childhood. I didn't mean to offend. I don't think having internalized misogyny is at all the person's fault, it's society's fault.

Well, let's see, first, a lot of people are brought up in hugely abusive households without actually becoming abusive themselves. I'm sure those people would be really offended if you told them 'oh, you must be a little abusive, just a bit!', because they were surrounded by it for so long.

Second, misogyny is the hatred of women. Not some people having biases with sexist overtones or subconsciously stereotyping women. Misogyny is not a synonym for sexism.

Edited 2013-02-22 01:54 (UTC)

OP

I see, thank you for clarifying. I don't really think that's comparable though. An abusive household is not the same as a sexist society that you can't compare with a healthy one, because it's still among the least sexist societies on earth, IMO.

I thought misogyny was also devaluation of women? Feeling that being a woman is a negative thing you need to overcome? I think that idea is pounded into girls' heads pretty hard. Forgive me if I'm misusing the term.

But that's assuming society is unified and singular. That's like saying that because movies like Sucker Punch exist, movies are sexist. Society isn't sexist, aspects of some parts of it are. But since it's not, there is the "healthy" household to compare it to. So that's what I mean by an abusive household: a kid might be surrounded by abuse for all of their lives and still grow up non-abusive, if not actually healthy and happy in spite of it. They'll probably have to learn how to cope with the abuses, but they'll move past them.

Similarly, kids grow up with sexism in some part of basically everything, but there's still the good stuff out there to compare it to. They might have to learn to overcome any ideas about gender or sex they picked up along the way, but not everyone will end up damaged.

No, it's specifically the hatred of. So many people throw around the term that maybe some are believing it to have changed definition, but it's not so commonly used that way yet.

OP

They might have to learn to overcome any ideas about gender or sex they picked up along the way

This is all I was referring to. I just think (almost) everyone winds up having to unlearn some things.

I didn't realize the definition of misogyny was that narrow. Most people use it in a much broader sense than that.

Mmm. I got your point and feel you were in the right. Your debater here is being nitpicky - and social justice-minded forums will use the term misogyny the way you did - and also, in my view, rather naive.

Not OP

As much as we want to keep things clear it will not be able to stop language from changing. If people are starting to use a word in a border sense the meaning will most likely change to match.

Like how feminist for some people are kind of crazy ladies who burn bra's instead of a person who believe in equal right, equal opportunities and equal pay. I believe these things and I'm a feminist, but even if I'm not crazy and a bra burner that's what many people will assume if I tell them that I am a feminist.

Huh? It's true, though. It's almost impossible to escape some degree of internalized misogyny in human society. Whether it's femininity equaling weakness, scutinizing another woman's way of dress or sexual behavior, double-standards when it comes to expectation and action, etc etc etc.

Women have been a constant oppressed group with very little exception since day one, and we're all, women and men both, socialized to continue that oppression in one way or another. It may be unconscious, but it's still there.

[ SECRET POST #2242 ]

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