fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2246

⌈ Secret Post #2246 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

[Mighty Morphin Power Rangers]

__________________________________________________

03.

[Downton Abbey]

__________________________________________________

04.

[Death Note]

__________________________________________________

05.

[Star Trek TNG]

__________________________________________________

06.

[Girls]

__________________________________________________

07.

[Vampire Diaries]

__________________________________________________

08.

[My Little Pony: Friendship is magic]

__________________________________________________

09.

[Spartacus]

__________________________________________________

10.

[CSI]

__________________________________________________

11.

[The Bretts]

__________________________________________________

12.

[Steam Powered Giraffe]

__________________________________________________

13.

[Being Human]

__________________________________________________

14.

[The Young Ones]

__________________________________________________

15.

[God Bless America]

__________________________________________________

16.

[Nerdfighteria]

__________________________________________________

17.

[Downton Abbey]

__________________________________________________

18.

[Disney's hunchback of Notre dame (Frollo/Esmeralda)/Titanic (Cal/Rose)/Once Upon a Time (Rumpelstiltskin/Belle)/Labyrinth (Jareth/Sarah)/ Harry potter(Ginny/Tom)/ Game of thrones (Sansa/Petyr)/ The Mummy/The Mummy Returns (Imhotep/Evelyn)/ Phantom of The Opera (Phantom/Christine)]

__________________________________________________

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 076 secrets from Secret Submission Post #321.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ], [ 1 2 3 - troll secrets ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I agree with what the other people have said, especially when talking about image aesthetics. Most of the time, it's less wanting to be male/female, and more about the associated characteristics with those qualities.

Like, for example, I'll look at a really physically capable, athletic guy and think, "Hot damn, I wanna look like that." It's not that I want to be male, but it's that I want to be looked at the same way that the guy is looked at: capable, competent, worthy of respect and regard. In most Western depictions, this is often associated with physical strength or promises of violence, so a lot of the time looking tough and looking masculine come hand in hand.

Unfortunately this sort of image is rarely associated with females, or if it is, it's heavily tempered with some kind of accessibility that otherwise makes her approachable. For example, you'll have a strong, capable-looking female who looks like she could kick your ass-- but some aspect of her appearance or personality make her undesirable to want to emulate. Maybe she has unrealistic, gigantic boobs, or she has some weird vulnerability streak.

It's not that you hate being female, or hate strong females, it's just that you don't like the way that someone has tried to depict "strong female", which in many cases is altered or toned down so that people don't read her as "bitch" or "butch".

I think maybe it's not so much having a problem with your specific gender identity, just that you have a problem with the way that society does gendered identity traits.

I have a problem with it too, don't worry.

You make some excellent points. I definitely have problems with societies idea of gender and the way women are portrayed, but I've never thought of it in relation quite the way you've put it here. Thank you!

No problem. This is obviously something I've thought about a lot myself, and once I figured out that I've been trying to emulate gender-associated personality traits, rather than gender envy, I've felt a lot better personally.

Because there is nothing that pisses me off more than being disregarded for displaying "masculine" traits because of supposed penis envy.

I don't want a penis, I just want people to know I can kick their ass as though I had one. :D (I'm being flippant now, but you get what I mean.)

OP here again. I've been thinking about this all night and I really think you're right. Which is a little embarrassing for me because I am big into gender studies and gender representation in media and that whole shebang, so it's just a little shocking that I've honestly never thought of that particular connection in relation to my own gender issues.

And since I've been thinking about what you've said I've realized how angry I get whenever I think of strong women in the media and why I tend to lean away from them - because like you said they are never just pure strong kick ass, there is always this hint of vulnerability or invitation or otherwise something that takes away from the strong capable representation. And then I get angry at being a woman because then it's like the world is telling me I can't be strong and capable on my own, only men get that.

I mean, I do in fact want a penis but only because it would be way more convenient to my chosen lifestyle (which includes a lot of camping and multi-day outdoor events, so peeing outdoors and no period would be crazy handy). But other than that, yeah.

Thanks so much for commenting and presenting thoughts in such a clear way. It's really just helped a lot with the way I'm thinking about this.

DA

Holy shit. Mind blown.

This is exactly my issue. I'm not trans* or genderqueer, in fact I quite like dresses, but I DON'T like all the negative, sexualised things that come along with presenting as "female".

Haha, good to know I helped out.

Yeah, it's a huge bitch to know that even casually identifying as female ends up setting you up with all kinds of socially undesirable traits and commitments. Like the sort of unwritten contract that because you're dressed to emphasize your femaleness, you're obviously meant to be enjoyed by all! Which, no, no I'm not.

I dunno, there's a whole lot of weird shit where being masculine and dressing to emphasize that accentuates more powerful, aggressive, and therefore, "fuck off" sentiment, whereas dressing female is more approachable and vulnerable (lots of exposed skin and unworkable cuts), and therefore says something like, "look at me!" or "help me!"

Which, again, no.

Image, fashion, and gender in our society are so fucked up.

SA

Oh god I remember when I first started wearing makeup, and some of my male friends were like: "You don't need to wear makeup! Natural girls are prettier!"

LOL NOPE sorry I don't wear makeup to "look pretty" for guys, I wear makeup like I wear a uniform.

(I'm willing to bet a lot of those "natural girls" they think are hot probably spend hours every day on hair and makeup.)

I'm not a makeup wearer myself, but I definitely empathize with the consequences it has. I mean, if you have a vagina, it's kind of implicit that you should dress pretty to be socially "normal", anyway. Or, to be more specific, you should dress pretty to code as more traditionally female, and therefore more socially unthreatening and acceptable.

Oh god, the effort of wearing makeup that's designed to make it look like you aren't wearing makeup is fucking insane. I know girls who wear makeup like that. It takes a fuckton of effort to keep it up, too.

Which is why I prefer the "fuck off" look. I'm not saddled with the social responsibility of looking good, and responding to anything related to my femininity. (Which isn't an absolutely implicit association, but damn well close. If you wear something feminine and attention getting, you generally will get comments from both genders.)

(reply from suspended user)

[ SECRET POST #2246

Re: a question about gender ID

Re: a question about gender ID

Re: a question about gender ID

Re: a question about gender ID

Re: a question about gender ID

Re: a question about gender ID

Re: a question about gender ID

Re: a question about gender ID