fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2247 ]

[ SECRET POST #2247 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2247 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 056 secrets from Secret Submission Post #321.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - troll ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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If you don't like female characters, you've got internalized misogyny? LOLNO.

This. If I want to hate female characters as much as I hate male characters, I'm damn well going to do so. There's no social obligation to like them just because they happen to have the same bits as I have.

Given how loud the subset of female readers who say it does mean such are, it's not surprising that some of us internalise the worry.

Internalized worry about internalized misogyny. Oh when will the madness end?

...internalized madness?

I'll admit it, I don't like most fictional women. I don't like most real women either. I'm female. I've never been popular, attractive, super intelligent or even quirky. I've lived my life mostly isolated from others. Never in the cliques, never asked out, never one of the in-crowd as an adult. Women are the ones who have made me feel like a pariah in society so why should I happily watch their exploits in fiction? I don't want to and I'm not going to apologize for it either.

What's sad is, it's still patriarchy that causes internalized misogyny. It's our society telling us we need to be beautiful, thin, perfect, polite, never show anger, etc, that causes women to generally act shitty toward other women. If a woman doesn't fit with what's "proper" for a woman, then she's viewed as either abnormal (and thus, bad), or a threat, and thus, bad.

All this, because our male-dominated shitty society says we have to be perfect for men. Oh, they don't always say it outright, but that's pretty much the reason. Be thin, men will like you. Wear make up to be pretty for men. Shave your armpits and your legs, or men will get upset. Here, take these diet drugs, by this exercise equipment, buy our expensive lipstick, dye your hair, whiten your teeth. Don't ever complain, always be nice, do all the chores and work a full time job, raise kids! blah.

That's funny, because until recently patriarchy was telling women not to work full time jobs. Darn, you just can't win with that pesky patriarchy, can you?

Depends on which Neanderthal you're dealing with: the ones who expect to have a full-time housewife who will cook, clean, and pop out babies on demand, or the ones who expect their wife to work and also cook, clean, and pop out babies on demand.

It's become acceptable (and even necessary) for women to work, but society (and the patriarchy) hasn't really stopped expecting women to also be a mother and housewife.

...I think we're getting off topic, though.

Not only that, but there are very few realistically depicted, kind and loving female friendships in fiction compared to the veritable glut of "bromance." Guys can be friends and have meaningful friendships with each other (although there's also that problematic element of "zomg no homo" involved), but the dominant message portrayed in most media aimed toward girls and women is that female friendships are secondary to the ultimate goal of Getting The Guy, and ultimately, disposable. Especially in television shows aimed at teenage girls, such as Gossip Girl/Pretty Little Liars/basically anything on the CW and ABC Family, female friendships are usually on some level about RIVALRY instead of kinship. Because, in order for the patriarchy to keep being a thing, women shouldn't feel connected to each other or form close bonds, since that usually leads to women identifying more with the needs and goals of other women than with the needs and goals of men.

To the comment above yours -- if you want to see a great, strong and supportive female friendship, watch Parks and Recreation. Leslie and Ann are both really great characters who truly care for each other, and they do have some rough times but they always manage to get through them because they value their friendship so highly. I'm sure there is a female friend like that for you somewhere, everyone deserves a Leslie to their Ann or vice versa!

Yeah, see, it's easy to blame the patriarchy and evil patriarchy influenced/dominated media for everything, but fuck, that's such a lazy excuse. "It's the patriarchy's fault women are bitches to each other, so I'm not even going to try acting like a decent human being instead of a vengeful bitch, because it's not my fault and I don't need to take responsibilty of my own behaviour".

That's like an aspie who just happens to be a fucking asshole saying "I don't need to try being a nice person, I have asperger".

The DSM V is due out in a couple months and Asperger's has been given the boot. No more excuses.

We need more Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants-like stories, where the female friendship is the absolute focus, family (blood ties or otherwise) comes a strong second and boyfriends are simply incidental.

or not. cause that movie sucked.

The book didn't.

Not talking about the movie at all. The books are amazing.

Because that kind of situation happens all the time. Nah, it's shit like Mean Girls and Sabrina the Teenage Witch that you see irl.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2013-02-28 03:52 (UTC) - Expand

I just want to step in for a moment and question your choice of including "Pretty Little Liars" as one of your examples of friendships being second to Getting the Guy. Not trying to sound like a snarky asshole or anything, but have you actually watched the show? The entire show revolves around a circle of female friends, and the main quartet have such a strong bond with one another that only gets stronger with all the creepy shit they have to face. Any romantic plots are decisively secondary in nature to the main plot, which involves a conspiracy surrounding their (presumably) deceased friend. And yes, the deceased friend was very catty and manipulative, but it was her powerful influence which stopped the girls from being strong. It is shown throughout the show that she was a damaging influence on them, and only after she disappeared that they were able to develop confidence and become strong in their own right. This strength is reinforced through the relationship they have to one another. Despite all the various trials and tribulations, they always reconcile and have a stronger bond because of it.

This.

The group's friendship is what I love most about the show.

You sound like an absolute joy to be around, jsyk.

youre an absolute cunt who should kill yourself

im a guy

guess you cant like any characters now!!!

Um I don't agree with what the AYRT is saying, but that's not okay to say to someone.

Get lost, asshole

Does your mother know you're online, sweetie?

It's your choice to not have female friends of course, and I respect that, but perhaps you should broaden your horizon and seek out new circle of female friends? I was just like you back in school with backstabbing girl friends who play mind games and isolated me, but once I'm in uni and afterwards in my job I've met many kind, selfless women who became fast friends with me and even a few who remained my loyal, best friends.

Stay girlfriend-less if you want but don't make sweeping statements that shortchange ALL women, fictional or otherwise. We're capable of making deep connections with each other just like guys do.

Girls who claim that they hate other girls because they're bitchy are usually twice as bitchy because y'know, like attracts like so yeah.

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