[ SECRET POST #2250 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2250 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.
[Stan Lee]


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02.


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03.
[Pusher II]


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04.
[nigahiga]


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05.


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06.
[code lyoko evolution]


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07.


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08.


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09.


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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]
















10. [SPOILERS for Homestuck]



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11. [SPOILERS for Kuroko no Basket]



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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

















12. [WARNING for rape]



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13. [WARNING for abuse]



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14. [WARNING for rape]

[SNSD/Girls' Generation]


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15. [WARNING for dub-con]



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16. [WARNING for sexual assault]

[One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #321.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

WHICH IS CORRECT?

[(Anonymous)]

"Senpai" Moe-tan caught her breath and said, "you forgot your bento!"

OR

"Senpai" Moe-tan caught her breath and said, "You forgot your bento!"

Re: WHICH IS CORRECT?

[(Anonymous)]

err, pretend there are !'s after the senpais!

Re: WHICH IS CORRECT?

[(Anonymous)]

The second.

Re: WHICH IS CORRECT?

[(Anonymous)]

First one.

Re: WHICH IS CORRECT?

[(Anonymous)]

first is correct, i believe

Re: WHICH IS CORRECT?

[fearlessfirefly]

Second one, pretty sure.

Re: WHICH IS CORRECT?

[(Anonymous)]

Pretty sure the first one is correct.

Re: WHICH IS CORRECT?

[sugar_spun]

Second. She is speaking in a complete sentence.

Re: WHICH IS CORRECT?

[(Anonymous)]

Neither.

Re: WHICH IS CORRECT?

[(Anonymous)]

sa

By which I mean, the whole structure sounds awkward and I would suggest rewording.

Re: WHICH IS CORRECT?

[kluify]

If there's an exclamation mark after Senpai, the second is correct as the new piece of dialogue starts a new sentence of dialogue. However if there was just a comma after Senpai the first would be correct.

Re: WHICH IS CORRECT?

[lunabee34]

I concur.

Re: WHICH IS CORRECT?

[kamino_neko]

This.

Re: WHICH IS CORRECT?

[mekkio]

Neither. Also, you don't really need to add the "said" since she is already speaking. Just drop the word and the rest will flow better.

"Senpai." Moe-tan caught her breath. "You forgot your bento."

Or

"Senpai," Moe-tan caught her breath, "You forgot your bento."

Re: WHICH IS CORRECT?

[(Anonymous)]

That second example is incorrect. It should be:

"Senpai," Moe-tan caught her breath, "you forgot your bento."

OR

"Senpai," Moe-tan caught her breath. "You forgot your bento."

Re: WHICH IS CORRECT?

[mekkio]

I stand corrected. Still, I stand by the need to drop the "said" to make it flow better.

Re: WHICH IS CORRECT?

[inkdust]

Agreed. For the most realistic sequence I would have:
"Senpai!" Don't remember the name caught her breath. "You forgot your bento."

Re: WHICH IS CORRECT?

[kitty_wake]

No, your second example is wrong. Catching your breath is not a method of speaking. Also, the way you've punctuated the speech suggests it's all one sentence, so the second half shouldn't start with a capital. However:

"Senpai," Moe-tan gasped, "you forgot your bento."

would be correct and have the same meaning.

Re: WHICH IS CORRECT?

[badass_tiger]

Awkward, awkward phrasing. I'm assuming Moe-tan is running after Senpai, so you could say:

'Senpai!'

[Senpai's reaction?]

Moe-tan stopped to catch her breath before saying, 'You forgot your bento!'

Re: WHICH IS CORRECT?

[(Anonymous)]

This is actually worse than the original. Maybe if you made it "Moe-tan stopped to catch her breath and said, "You forgot your bento!".