fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2250 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2250 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

[Stan Lee]

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02.

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03.

[Pusher II]

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04.

[nigahiga]

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05.

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06.

[code lyoko evolution]

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07.

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08.

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09.

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

10. [SPOILERS for Homestuck]

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11. [SPOILERS for Kuroko no Basket]

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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

12. [WARNING for rape]

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13. [WARNING for abuse]

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14. [WARNING for rape]

[SNSD/Girls' Generation]

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15. [WARNING for dub-con]

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16. [WARNING for sexual assault]

[One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #321.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

There's a pattern I'm noticing on commenting that I'd like to get your guys' opinion about.

When there's a secret that talks about a truly impacting experience (generally negative) from some creative work, there are generally few comments.

When there is a secret that talks in a trolly or wanky way about a creative work (and usually the content or tone is negative), there is a plethora of comments.

What do you guys figure is the reason for this? Are people just in general more tentative to comment on something that touches a bad experience in someone else's life?

Yeah, I'm always hesitant say stuff on negative experiences secrets because I'm not sure what to say. Where as troll-y secrets are practically asking you to give your two cents.

I guess (just my opinion) it's that when something from fandom genuinely impacts a person, there's fewer comments because fandom is the place where everything imaginative is possible and adding reality to the mix somewhat dampens the effect, as if we are all reminded that this wondrous place will soon leave in one way or another.

Although I will point out that that DOES NOT mean that people don't care for this kind of thing.

Just my two cents.

if you mean ones like the secret about the abusive situation today.... personally, i really don't know what to say.

do you congratulate someone on getting through something like that? maybe it's just me, but when i go through something bad i tend to disregard perfunctory responses; dunno why, but it does nothing for me when, for example, people say they're sorry (fillintheblank) happened--i mean damn, so am i. it seems like anything i could write over the internet would come across as hollow and impersonal. if i had a similar experience to the OP i would try to commiserate, but since i haven't i feel like i would just wind up sounding like a hackneyed jackass.

I definitely get where you're coming from, and I totally understand your desire to be sensitive.

I think with a lot of the serious secrets, the posters have lived so long in relative silence that opening up even to this extent is sort of a huge step. And having a relative lack of responses to opening up like that is kind of discouraging.

As someone who has posted secrets about crap from my past that have gotten few responses, sometimes it kind of makes me worried-- what if no one cared? What if they're disgusted with me, and with what I went through?

Yeah I know, in retrospect illogical, but what can I say.

Anyway, this isn't like a guilt trip to get you to respond, I just thought I'd also bring up the other side of the equation too.

hmm. i never thought of it that way, but i get what you're saying.

i just doubt my ability to offer up anything substantial in these cases. why should someone on the internet want validation from me? i am not that great. and i am worried that i'll make things worse somehow, which i guess is contradictory and thus also illogical.

it isn't that people don't care, though. i hope that's not always the impression the op/anon gets in these types of situations, although i can see how it might be.

Two reasons

- honest, general negative stuff is harder to comment to. What do you say to something like that? If you don't have experience with a situation like it, it can be hard to find something good to say, and if you do have experience with that, sometimes you don't want to actually go back into those memories to comment to it.

- trolly wanky secrets are oftentimes specifically made to be easy to respond to. A big fandom, a general attitude, something that is quick to get under people's skin. All things that fuel responses. Add to that the amount of responses that are stuff like 'troll, troll, this is such a troll secret' and it is easy to see why this stuff racks up comments vs more serious things.

I don't know what to say when something really bad have happened to someone, because personally I feel that saying "I am happy you got over it" or "I hope you are okay now OP!" isn't things I like hearing, and I live by the (probably stupid) rule that people think and feel like me so...

When it comes to wanky stuff on the other hand, that is at times fun and you can also end up seeing some really interesting points and get into some nice (non)wanky discussions. Or just see all the angry people getting angrier, it is like bird watching for geeks!

I definitely get where you're coming from.

The way I see any kind of response to serious secrets, someone recognizing what you went through, and even taking the time to say something to show that they've seen what you've tried to open up about, is something. It helps.

I always kind of see these secrets as an attempt to open up some kind of dialogue about their experiences. Especially when they feel like they can't talk about it in real life.

I usually always look to see if people have commented, if there is few: I try to at least comment with something. Just to make sure the OP don't feel we are ignoring him or her. Because I believe that deep down this community does care, we just aren't that great at showing it.

I usually see them as a way for someone to just get it out and not really much more than that, but your way of looking at it makes a lot of sense!

the entire point of wank-bait secrets is that people react to them - they get more comments simply by design.

genuine secrets generally call for a genuine response, and a lot of times, people simply don't know what to say. How do you react to that? Somebody else will probably voice your feelings more articulately anyway, so you silently wish the OP the best and move on.

Yeah. This.

Occasionally if I don't know the fandom I won't even fully read the secrets.

Other times I'll start to type a comment, then read it back and feel like it isn't good enough and just delete the whole thing. So I'll try to type it again, and I'll delete it again, etc etc, until I just give up entirely and hope the OP gets some nice or helpful responses.

Sometimes it's just hard to find the right words, and that tends to happen more with serious secrets, I guess.

My culture is winning the war.

[ SECRET POST #2250 ]

Real secrets vs troll secrets

Re: Real secrets vs troll secrets

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Re: Real secrets vs troll secrets

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Re: Real secrets vs troll secrets

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