fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2256 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2256 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[The Most Popular Girls In School]

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[Rust and Bone]

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[My Mad Fat Diary]

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[Sailor Moon]

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[Harvest Moon: A New Beginning]

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[American Horror Story Asylum]

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[Homestuck]

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[DC Comics]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 021 secrets from Secret Submission Post #322.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

http://putwhatinyourbutt.tumblr.com/

I feel like I need to share this tumblr with all of you, because I genuinely can't remember the last time I've laughed so hard at anything.

Hot wax? Jesus.

I was going to go to bed early today as well. NOT ANYMORE.

I just checked that out and LOL the hand sanitizer!

...cement? CEMENT?!

OH DEAR GOD NO.

OH GOD I HAVE TO GO TELL THEM ABOUT THE HONEY FIC.

I think I came across this in a fic once. I LOLed and back-buttoned.

I've seen four mentions of honey so far. Oh god, why. And motor oil! Why is THAT so popular? (Granted, it was everywhere in Gundam Wing fic...)

I'm not even touching the battery acid, cement, hot sauce, lotion made of ghost chillis... they have to be deliberately written crackfic. They have to be.

Minotaur's guide to gay sex was recc'd to me a while back and there's a section that talks about lubes he's improvised with. Motor oil was on there. As was peanut butter, which nogodno.

...I hope it wasn't crunchy.

I remember that he specified it as "smooth, not crunchy". Also, there was a note along the lines of "These are things I've used at some time or other; I'm not saying I recommend them".

There was also a list of things NOT to use. I think blood was on that one.

Blood is definitely not a good idea. If there's enough blood around that you can use it as a lubricant, chances are you're not gonna be in much shape to continue...

that's what i'm saying! how can you possibly think that putting hot sauce IN YOUR BUTT would be anything other than excruciating? it has to be in there to be deliberately funny.

I'm just. Hoping they HAVE to be deliberate, because no one could be THAT stupid... (The honey one, regretfully, was not written to be funny.)

Honestly, I hope it's crackfic for the author's own sake. I can't bear the thought of anyone trying that out!

Wet sand?? That's.... anti lubricant. It decreases the lubrication. Wtf.

Maybe they were aliens? O_o

I read one that used maple syrup once.

That shit is way too expensive to use as lube.

(Also, you know, sticky.)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The worst I've ever come across in fic was pond scum. Pond scum. It was this sweet Percy Weasley/Harry Potter fic, night time skinny dipping in the Weasley pond, charming moonlight and all that stuff, then one of them just grabs some slime from under a lily pad. To fuck the other with.

*shudder* Ugh, years later and it still wigs me out.

[ SECRET POST #2256 ]

Bad lube in fanfiction

Re: Bad lube in fanfiction

Re: Bad lube in fanfiction

Re: Bad lube in fanfiction

Re: Bad lube in fanfiction

Re: Bad lube in fanfiction

Re: Bad lube in fanfiction

Re: Bad lube in fanfiction

Re: Bad lube in fanfiction

Re: Bad lube in fanfiction

Re: Bad lube in fanfiction

Re: Bad lube in fanfiction

Re: Bad lube in fanfiction

Re: Bad lube in fanfiction

Re: Bad lube in fanfiction

Re: Bad lube in fanfiction

Re: Bad lube in fanfiction

Re: Bad lube in fanfiction

Re: Bad lube in fanfiction

Re: Bad lube in fanfiction

Re: Bad lube in fanfiction