[ SECRET POST #2272 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2272 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 140 secrets from Secret Submission Post #325.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

What I don't understand, from a feminist viewpoint, is why the word "ugly" is the worst slur in the history of the universe. More and more I'm seeing "fat is beautiful", "my little sister gets bullied at school for being chubby, tell her she's beautiful", "all women are beautiful".

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, yes, but this insistence that women must be beautiful is frankly terrifying. It's never "my little sister gets bullied at school tell her how creative/intelligent/worthy of a person she is", it's "tell her she's beautiful". It just, as per the unfortunate usual, strips a woman's worth down to her physical appearance, and now it's other women that are enforcing it.

Forgive the mini rant, I just feel like this is something that really needs to be addressed.

[silverau]

Honestly I kind of feel the same way. I'm not gonna lie, I don't like my appearance and I do feel validated on the rare occasions when guys tell me I'm cute, but... I wish I DIDN'T feel that way. Because in the end even if people make POSITIVE compliments on my appearance, they're still focusing on my appearance, and that just makes me more inclined to focus on my own appearance despite the fact that I will never look like the ideal of how I want to look and I don't want to use my time and energy by worrying about it... but I WILL worry about it, if that's what everyone else is focused on. I mean, I understand the "Everyone is beautiful" comments, because there are a lot of people out there who are devalued because of their appearance and the easiest way to comfort them is to tell them that they're not ugly... especially because, like, if someone is worried that they're ugly and their friends don't immediately rush to tell them they're not, it hurts... I'm not going to hate on anyone for spreading around those kinds of messages or for seeking them out as confidence-boosters... but I agree that in the end that kind of attitude is not as helpful as it would be to point out OTHER reasons besides appearance that people should be happy about themselves for.

[(Anonymous)]

yep yep yep

It always stands out to me too, especially on tumblr.

[cadremage]

This is a very good point.

However, I think it's a difficult call to make. The concept of telling a woman that she is beautiful no matter what is, after all, reactionary; women are judged on and denigrated for their appearance as a matter of course. You can explain to a young girl that her appearance is not as important as everything else that makes her who and what she is, but that will not necessarily arm her against the constant onslaught of messages she receives from the world. So, you start by telling her she's beautiful -- and then you integrate all other aspects, until it becomes clear that her beauty in fact stems from those other aspects.

[(Anonymous)]

This, and it goes hand in hand with "Never call a girl fat, even if you're joking, it's the worst thing you could ever do and she'll be broken forever."

I just...what?

[(Anonymous)]

Personally speaking, I've been called both "fat" (I'm overweight) AND "unattractive" (I was NOT overweight when I was called this), and "unattractive" hurt my feelings more.

[(Anonymous)]

"...and now it's other women that are enforcing it."

"Now"? Like that hasn't always been the case? It's not just men who have certain expectations of women.