case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2013-03-26 07:01 pm

[ SECRET POST #2275 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2275 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 072 secrets from Secret Submission Post #325.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ like 7 or 8 troll secrets. Stopped counting ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Chalk and cheese siblings

(Anonymous) 2013-03-27 12:22 am (UTC)(link)
My sister (only sibling) and I have basically nothing in common. Our interests, aspirations, hobbies, beliefs and values barely overlap. It's got to the point where now in our mid-twenties it's a huge amount of effort just to keep a conversation going.

It makes me sad because I see and hear so much about awesome sibling relationships. We never had a falling out or anything, and I love her very much. But if she weren't my sister there's no way at all that we'd be in each others' lives.

Anyone else that way with their sibs?

Re: Chalk and cheese siblings

(Anonymous) 2013-03-27 12:37 am (UTC)(link)
My brother and I have spoken three times in about 20 years. They were all painfully awkward and brought up some resentments for each of us. Now we coordinate through our dad so we don't visit our parents at the same time again.

Re: Chalk and cheese siblings

(Anonymous) 2013-03-27 12:47 am (UTC)(link)
Yup. I also have a single sibling with whom I seem to have next to nothing in common. We never call ot talk to eachother, most phone conversations happen on the rare time's I answer one of my parent's phones when they call, and those conversations are usually stilted and trail into long moments of silence. When I visit we don't usually talk to eachother, and most conversations are about our pets.

It's not that we don't get along, we really do love eachother, but we literally have nothing to carry a conversation about. Nothing in our lives or interests bisects at all. If they like it and recommend it it's almost guaranteed I'll dislike or be completely unimpressed by it - and vice-versa. That I can think off, we were both fans of one show at the same time, but I came to it when their interest was waning and they really aren't the sort to be into fandom at all anyway so our interest was different even then.

It does make me feel sad to see all the deep bonds and similarities in on-screen siblings. Most of the time I don't even feel like I HAVE a sibling since we go months and months without even speaking and to see media portrayals of close siblings really makes me jealous sometimes. I don't have that, but I wish I did.
nan: (Default)

Re: Chalk and cheese siblings

[personal profile] nan 2013-03-27 12:49 am (UTC)(link)
The three brothers and one sister I have from my dad's previous marriage are useless to me. I don't want to hear from them because all they do is call our dad and ask for money. I'm happy to forget they exist.

The sister from my mom's previous marriage is pretty cool though. We work in the same office; I'm marketing, she's grooming. It's nice. :)
elaminator: (Justified: Raylan Givens)

Re: Chalk and cheese siblings

[personal profile] elaminator 2013-03-27 12:52 am (UTC)(link)
Yes. I used to be close to my brother but we drifted and don't talk much. About the only thing we have in common now is gaming, and he doesn't have much time for it or chooses to do other things with his time. Our conversations are stilted and awkward.

Re: Chalk and cheese siblings

(Anonymous) 2013-03-27 01:08 am (UTC)(link)
My brother and I don't hate each other, and we can usually find things to talk about, but we're certainly don't have a deep familial bond. Part of that is just that my family life when I was a kid tended towards being a little more cold and distant; part of it is just that we've always been out of phase, and have very different interests and motivations. We just approach life differently. But that's life.
fandomonymous: Gray @ on black background (Default)

Re: Chalk and cheese siblings

[personal profile] fandomonymous 2013-03-27 01:10 am (UTC)(link)
Yup. We do think of each other, I think - I admire her tenacity deeply, and she has somehow managed to convince one of her friends to help me find a job - but we're so emotionally far from each other that a took a tragedy for us to do even minimal interaction.

My partner, on the other hand, constantly worries over and basically acts as an extra parent to their siblings. It's strange.

Re: Chalk and cheese siblings

(Anonymous) 2013-03-27 01:16 am (UTC)(link)
No, but I want to explain why.

My sister is nothing like me, and we have nothing in common. Our interests are different, ours tastes are different, our personalities are different, our jobs are different. You couldn't find two more different people if you tried.

However, we communicate almost entirely through in-jokes and quotes from movies. Even if we have nothing else in common, we've spent years developing our own language, just so we'd have something in common.

Where there's a will, there's a way, OP.

Re: Chalk and cheese siblings

(Anonymous) 2013-03-27 01:25 am (UTC)(link)
I'm like this too, very different from my brother. Except it doesn't bother me at all.
partialsatyr: (Default)

Re: Chalk and cheese siblings

[personal profile] partialsatyr 2013-03-27 01:51 am (UTC)(link)
i actually have quite a bit in common with my siblings, yet for some reason we're astoundingly distant, despite us all having fairly close relationships with our parents. there was never any big falling out or too much bad blood between us, we're just not very affectionate with each other. at all.

last time i saw my sister, i had to ask her how old she was, if that gives you any reference
ghostofcairo: (Default)

Re: Chalk and cheese siblings

[personal profile] ghostofcairo 2013-03-27 02:01 am (UTC)(link)
My brother and I are like that. We have completely different worldviews, and are polar opposites in almost every conceivable way. He's become a bit less of a dick over the past couple years but he's still pretty much an arrogant ass so I try not to see or talk to him any more than is absolutely necessary.

Re: Chalk and cheese siblings

(Anonymous) 2013-03-27 02:27 am (UTC)(link)
Sort of?

I have two brothers and a sister and if we weren't siblings or related I doubt any of us would be friends. But we are, of a sort. I'm definitely closer to one of my brothers and my sister, but it's a weird sort of closeness that's built more on familiarity, being family, in jokes, that type of thing.

Actually my sister and I were bitching about one of my brothers the other day and actually said that if he wasn't our brother we probably would have given up on him and just distanced ourselves.

I have never understood medias depiction of siblings. Always showing this super close loving bond, where even if you don't get along the siblings come in and save the day from bullies or banding together against parents or whatever.

Of course my relationship is also kind of weird because a lot of it is built on the fact that I've worked really hard to know how to interact with each sibling, and that when we're all together I'm going to be the punching bag. Just kind of have to learn to accept and roll with it.

Re: Chalk and cheese siblings

(Anonymous) 2013-03-27 02:33 am (UTC)(link)
I haven't really spoken to my older brother since probably the Christmas before my parents kicked me out of the house (back in...'07?). A couple years later, he sent a birthday card, but that was it.

We've never been close. I hardly ever talk about him and sometimes I even forget I have a brother. He's just...that dude I sorta lived with but not really because most of the time he was out being social and I was the nerdy little bookworm and...yeah. I think the only thing we might agree on are some of our political views, but that's...not much to base any relationship on, let alone a close sibling one.

I'm not that fussed, though. I'm not that close to any of my blood relatives, really. A friend of mine was super-close to her brother and thought it was immensely sad that my brother and I were so distant, and I was just...sort of confused. Like, I didn't understand that it was that odd or sad that I wasn't close to him. We were two very different people. We might be more alike now, since I'm more myself now than I ever was growing up, but I wouldn't know. He's a ways away and talking to him would mean bringing up some things I don't particularly care to find out his reaction to!

Re: Chalk and cheese siblings

(Anonymous) 2013-03-27 02:37 am (UTC)(link)
most of the time he was out being social and I was the nerdy little bookworm and...yeah. I think the only thing we might agree on are some of our political views

That describes me and my brother, too. I was the "good" one who followed the rules and stayed at home reading while he was going to parties and drinking underage and getting into trouble. And we used to have at least similar political views but as time goes by I'm getting more liberal and he's getting more conservative so we don't even really have that anymore. Oh well.

Re: Chalk and cheese siblings

(Anonymous) 2013-03-27 02:50 am (UTC)(link)
Haha. I was actually the "bad" kid - I got grounded all the fucking time because I did a lot of things my mom didn't like. Some groundings were legit, but like one time, I got grounded from seeing my friends because I'd come home with a hicky on my hand. I was like 10 and had a habit of sticking things in my mouth when I was reading or thinking hard on something, and since I'd been chastised enough about chewing on my pens and pencils, that ended up being my hand - specifically, the webbing between my index and thumb. Came home with broken capillaries there, my dad thought it was funny, showed my mom, and boom, suddenly I can't go see my friends.

My brother, on the other hand, would have questionable (alcohol-related) shit in his car and our mom just didn't care. I remember two times in particular that he got grounded. That's it. I don't think I did a lot of actually bad shit, but I think because I was doing less socially acceptable things (like reading all the time and not being that social and not being ~feminine~ and actually having my own damn opinions on shit that I wasn't afraid to share...) our mom just doled out harsher punishments on me rather than on him.

At least I never teamed up with my idiot friend to try and build a bomb out of a firecracker in said friend's garage...
ryttu3k: (Default)

Re: Chalk and cheese siblings

[personal profile] ryttu3k 2013-03-27 02:50 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, that sounds similar - my brother and I are in our mid-twenties, too (I'm 26, he's 24). We have some mildly overlapping interests, but focus on different sections, I guess? Take science - we're both fairly scientific, but I adore astronomy, geology, natural sciences, whereas he's more interested in technology and engineering. We both did degrees in the faculty of science, but he did aeronautical engineering, I did museum studies - much 'softer'. We watch very different media (we both like sci fi, but different series!), he's more social than I am, I'm more creative than he is... we both love cooking, but I'm vegan and he lives off meat, heh...

He's my little brother, I love him, but we have nothing to talk about. Doesn't help that he tends to communicate in single-word sentences and I'm prone to verbal tl;dr...

Re: Chalk and cheese siblings

(Anonymous) 2013-03-28 01:00 am (UTC)(link)
I have a brother who's sorta asocial, and doesn't make much of an effort to be more social. My way with him is trying to cultivate what little in common we have, i just try to see things from his point of view.

Although, I try to be interested in a lot of things, so I have that bit working for me. i also enjoy having to deal with him because... well, he's my brother and I love him. I think my familial love towards him trumps a lot of things that have divided us.

Pro-tip: I like to ply him with food. Sometimes, if I keep myself open enough, he talks to me about small concerns he has.