fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2280 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2280 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

__________________________________________________

09.

__________________________________________________

10.

__________________________________________________

11.

__________________________________________________

12.

__________________________________________________

13.

__________________________________________________

14.

__________________________________________________

15.

__________________________________________________

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 080 secrets from Secret Submission Post #326.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I wondering if the people telling the OP they've done something wrong are the same people who would act much like the OP's friend - acting how they please until somebody tells them not to. "Make yourself at home" isn't actually an invitation to act like you do or would in your own home; it's just a short, polite way of indicating that the host doesn't expect anything special of the guest beyond common courtesy. There is such a thing as being a poor houseguest, and the OP's friend is definitely it.

This exactly.

No... it literally means to make yourself at home.

You don't want them to, DON'T FUCKING SAY IT.

When you change a word to not mean what it's supposed to mean it's on you.

When I tell people to make themselves at home in my house, I literately mean do whatever you do at home*.

I will tell you where to put your laundry and ask you to please do something if it is something I want to be done a specific way or just silently do it. I also give up my bed and sleep on the sofa when I have guests over.

I guess people are different and expect different things from house guests, but this is how I is used to doing it when I have guests over, and have for my whole life. And after having a friend over for a week where I have cleaned up after both of us and put up with some things done in a way I don't usually do them, I've also slept on the sofa for the whole week (and my sofa is tiny), but she is my guest I told her she could stay in my home and that means making some sacrifices.

*Off course normal politeness is something I expect, but that is something I expect of everyone at all times so.

And obviously there's nothing wrong with laying down some rules.

But you can't say "do what you want" and be surprised if they do! And if they are rude, well, reign that shit in! It's your place. You are allowed.

Course, but you have to make those rules, not complain that someone broke them without being told about them. As someone whom have lived with 4 different families (not counting the people I've lived with after moving out on my own) I know that most people do things differently. And what some might consider rude is normal in another household.

It might be an ESL thing, but isn't telling something you do to children, your students and such and asking what you do to your equals? Because translated directly to Norwegian I ask my friends to do something and tell my younger siblings to do things?

esl too

from what i understand, "asking" tends to be on a more polite register, so yeah, it would be with equals or superiors (and children you are not looking after, I think?), while "telling to do" is what you would to someone you expect to be subordinate to you (like children you are looking after?) or a friend you know wouldn't be offended

'No' to your whole first sentence.

Did people actually say that the OP did something wrong? I only saw comments pointing out that OP should talk to their guest, which is sound advice. I've been raised to give guests a certain leeway, and nothing the OP mentioned would be outside of that, unless OP asked them not to behave like that and they ignored it.

I don't begrudge OP getting annoyed and letting off steam by complaining here, but I don't think that their friend is a poor houseguest just on what OP mentioned. Their friend could have reasons to behave that way (leaving the towel on the floor so there can't be any mix up in case OP doesn't like using towels that others have used) or presume that they are close enough friends to behave like that. And I would never presume or ask to sleep in a host's bed, always make up the covers no matter where I sleep, dry the sink in the bathroom after I used it and always ask where to put used towels.

[ SECRET POST #2280 ]

Re: Make yourself at home! ...or wait, on a second thought, please don't.

Re: Make yourself at home! ...or wait, on a second thought, please don't.

Re: Make yourself at home! ...or wait, on a second thought, please don't.

Re: Make yourself at home! ...or wait, on a second thought, please don't.

Re: Make yourself at home! ...or wait, on a second thought, please don't.

Re: Make yourself at home! ...or wait, on a second thought, please don't.

Re: Make yourself at home! ...or wait, on a second thought, please don't.

Re: Make yourself at home! ...or wait, on a second thought, please don't.