fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2284 ]

[ SECRET POST #2284 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2284 ⌋

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I hate how I can't call myself fat and talk about how I need to get in shape and lose weight without people coming in and either berating me for fat shaming or telling me that I'm fine just the way I am.

No. I am not. My body is overweight and fat and out of shape. I am perfectly cool with who I am as a person, and saying I'm fat and need to lose weight is not an insult to myself. It's facts. Shut the fuck up.

I get that "fat" is, to a lot of people, a derogatory word but that doesn't mean you have to come in and lecture me and tell me how I feel about my own body.

Okay but do you realize that if you talk about it all the time people tend to get upset? Like what if they have their own body issues? Realize there's a time and a place for it like maybe your personal journal.

Also if you want to do something about it, do something about it.

What? What is this comment? Do you know who anon is and that they're talking about it all the time somewhere outside their own personal journal? And how do you know they're not doing something about it? I would assume that if you're talking about how you need to lose weight and get in shape it's because you're planning or are taking action.

I hate you on sight.

LOL this is exactly the kind of "think of everyone else besides yourself first" attitude going around fandom spaces that I FUCKING HATE

Agreed on all points. I am also fat. I'm not hideously unhealthy or anything, but I am fat and need to get in shape. I've been slowly losing weight by taking my dog out for a walk around the lake near our house every day, weather permitting. It's a mile and a quarter, and when I started, I needed a break at both of the benches along the way. These days, I never need to stop, and I'm starting to slowly extend the walk.

I'm also using an app for my phone called Lose It!, which is basically a moderately sophisticated calorie counter. It's been working very well so far. I'm not losing fast, but I am losing the weight, slow and steady. About ten pounds in the last three months. I highly recommend it.

Good points!

I wish people would focus more on being healthy rather what their body weight was, though.

Funny story. Back in the day I used to frequent a few eating disorder forums, general support type of thing. "Fat" was considered a "trigger word" and was strictly forbidden. So now after that I'm just kind of trained to not think in those terms when writing about weightloss etc.

However, I agree with you. It's just a word and with the whole "fat acceptance" movement people jump all over anything they think is "fat shaming" and it's really a shame. SJW types in general could do with a course in reading comprehension. I feel like a lot of the time they just skim for certain terms, not actually taking in the entirety of whatever they're reading.

Urgh, I know that feel OP. I'm fat too, and I don't understand these people that condemn using the word at all. I see myself as fat, I am fat, it is fact.
While it is generally negative because being fat is unhealthy, it's not like I'm being self-loathing saying "I'm disgustingly fat I'm a pig".

Being overweight is a situation where people tell you, "oh you look fine just that way you are!" but you don't have to listen to them if that's not how you feel. If you want to acknowledge you are fat, and you want to acknowledge you want to improve your health by losing weight, people against fat-shaming should support that.

There are two problems though. 1. When people complain about being fat or ugly, they often are looking for back pats and for someone to tell them they're pretty, so if you say either of those things chances are someone is going to tell you you're fine the way you are. They're just trying to be a nice person and make you feel good about yourself, thank them and move on.

2. Fat is largely a negative term, it shouldn't be, but for the majority of people who have been overweight their entire life know that the word "fat" often comes with a look of disapproval at best and pure hatred at worst. Your personal feelings about this do not change society as a whole.

If you want to stop these reactions either A. don't talk about it or B. find a way to talk about it that wouldn't get these types of reactions, like talk about this new fitness program you found because you want to lose a few pounds, usually when those topics come up people will just talk about fitness programs and won't be talking about fat shaming so much.

Also saying "out of shape" instead of "fat" is probably best, people can be out of shape at any weight and the response is most often encouragement to get in shape.

You know what bugs me, is that you're right, but I hate that you can't just talk about something without people thinking that you're expecting a reply. Like, sometimes a journal entry is just a journal entry. It exists to get thoughts out or my head or to simply explain where I'm at.

You're also automatically assuming if someone is talking about the fact that they're fat and need to work out that it = complaining. That right there is the problem.

It's just an automatic for some people that if something seems to be a problem, they want to help. Even if something is just a rant, some people are going to want to fix it, I know a lot of times in relationships that is an issue when one person is a ranter and another isn't.

In regards to journal entries though there are solutions, either lock comments and say "I just wanted to get this out, I'm not really looking for comments" or post a PRIVATE journal and get it out. I think social media has made us all think that in order to get something out we need to do it to an audience- we don't. Sometimes it's best to leave some things to private journals if you don't want a response.

Fat is largely a negative term, it shouldn't be...

Are you for real? And we're supposed to say out of shape instead? They're two different things. And they're both negative. Social perceptions aside, these are real things that have real impact on real people's health.

This conversation is entirely about social perception though, I am coming from experiences of how people react to certain terms, personal feelings on it don't matter this is just how people react to these terms. And OP was ranting about people's reactions, hence my comment.

So you can take your fat/health wank somewhere else.

Also saying "out of shape" instead of "fat" is probably best, people can be out of shape at any weight and the response is most often encouragement to get in shape.

This is true. I am maybe.. 120 lbs? And I'm pretty out of shape - the only reason I'm even this small is metabolism. I don't desire to lose MORE weight, but to be more in shape? Definitely.

1. When people complain about being fat or ugly, they often are looking for back pats and for someone to tell them they're pretty, so if you say either of those things chances are someone is going to tell you you're fine the way you are.

This, homigod. Or commiseration. In my case, I usually I default to vague encouragement, like "you'll succeed at whatever you want to do about it", no matter what they actually say about their weight. One thing people rarely want honest opinions about is weight, and I have no desire to provide what isn't wanted.

Most people have body image issues. If you say you're fat around someone fatter than you, or more insecure than you, they will take offense, like you're bashing them for not feeling the same. It's a fact, so...pick your audience better.

That's funny, I don't feel that way at all when people around me complain about being fat or out of shape. I usually just try to say something supportive to them like "you look fine" or, if they keep pressing the issue, I offer to support them in their healthy eating habits or exercise routine (by the way, I hate the fact that a lot of "fat acceptance" people seem to think both of these are horrible things, like, what the fuck, EVERYONE should be getting exercise and eating healthy regardless of what they look like or how large they are)

Agreed, for the love of god

Also, it's your own fucking body and you should be able to talk about it however you want to. I'd also add that I feel like "fat" is the least derogatory way of describing it since "overweight" is comparative and suggests there is one "normal" body type, "fat" is just descriptive, that's literally what it is, extra fat/adipose tissue

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #2284 ]

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